Chapter 105: Orknoob Unchained (1/2)
Welcome to Loli House.
Victor observed the building in front of him with a mix of astonishment and awe at the sheer audacity. Orknoob’s lair in the Waifu District looked like a giant pink and white dollhouse straight out of a Barbie commercial. He counted at least two floors, with the windows closed for privacy. It contrasted strikingly with the other buildings nearby, which were clearly brothels; if anything, it reinforced the uncanniness of the place.
How did they manage to make something so innocent look so shady?
“Oh, is this a dollhouse for Gorynych?” his zmey asked, hitting the ground with his back leg like a rabbit. “Gorynych loves elf dolls! They’re pretty!”
As he glanced at the wooden doors, Victor strongly considered calling Vainqueur and carpet bombing the place. He couldn’t be seen entering this establishment!
But for the sake of ending Orknoob’s reign of terror, all sacrifices were acceptable. The fomors only killed their victims; Orknoob made them live forever in stupidity.
“We have surrounded the building and cast all the spells you asked for, sir,” a skeletal spellcaster, one of his newest recruits, told Victor.
“[Dimensional Ward]? [Anti-Teleportation]? [Non-Detection]? [Shroud of Misfortune]?”
“Yes, we checked your entire list, and then double-checked it,” the creature somehow sighed, in spite of lacking lungs. “Isn’t it a bit excessive for a single orc?”
“This guy is a malicious Bugs Bunny,” Victor replied. “Can you imagine the number of people who want him dead, and yet never got around to do it? So triple-check!”
The spellcaster rolled his bony shoulders and returned to his post, grumbling about paranoia. “Just stay outside and catch anyone who isn’t me,” Victor told Gorynych. “Especially if it’s an orc!”
“Aw, Gorynych doesn’t like orc dolls! They smell worse than Gorynych’s home!”
Gathering all his courage, his scythe in hands, and his body protected by the best armor in all of Happyland, Victor opened the doors and stepped inside the dollhouse. At least Kia was too devastated by her curse to join and watch this fiasco.
The owners had gone so far as to perfume the entrance hall and paint its walls with flashy colors. Victor approached a desk right next to stairs towards the rooms above, finding a doppelganger behind it.
It wasn’t the first time he met one—having fought a few during the Nightblades’ attack on Murmurin—but this one was slightly different. His body was completely white and featureless, like a statue of white clay, safe for a tie and a red ribbon. The creature immediately waved a hand at him.
“Oh hi, honored guest!” the receptionist spoke, Victor immediately understanding it thanks to [Monster Kin]. “Welcome!”
“I’m just visiting,” Victor said hastily.
“They all say that,” the doppelganger replied with a laugh. “It is fine, client-sama. You are not going to go to jail.”
The doppelganger sounded so nice and yet so sleazy, that it gave Victor shivers. “I’m, I’m just looking for one of your clients, an orc called Orknoob…”
“Mr. Orknoob? How nice! He is one of our best clients, I am so happy that he recommended our establishment to you. You can find him on the second floor, room eight. Do you want the threesome or the ‘Little Sister’ formula then?”
“No, I just want to talk to Orknoob.” And probably kill him. “Then I will leave and never come back.”
“Come on, don’t be shy! You risk nothing.” The doppelganger raised a little bell, a door opening in the wall. Victor hadn’t even noticed it due to the paint work. A new doppelganger stepped into the hall, glancing at Victor, before instantly changing its shape.
“Onii-chan!”
Within seconds, Victor found himself staring at would have looked like his little sister, if he ever had one. A teenage or so tiny creature with long black hair, amber eyes, and a feminine version of the Vizier’s own face. She wore a cute little brown dress that made her even more adorable.
“Onii-chan!” The false little sister smirked at him with big fake eyes. “I love you, onii-chan!”
[Madness] negated by [Claimed by the Moon Man].
“What the Happyland is that thing?!” Victor protested.
“As you can see, all our lolis are adult, consenting doppelgangers,” the receptionist said with a cheerful tone. “You can satisfy all your fetishes with a clean conscience, and without violating any law.”
“No, seriously, I’m not interest—”
“Onii-chan!” The loli jumped at him like a lion on a zebra. “I’m a virgin!”
Skill check successful!
Victor quickly protected his purity by using his scythe as a pole, keeping the tiny monster away from him. “Don’t approach me!” the Vizier kept the creature at bay, the false little sister trying to find a way to get past the weapon. “I’m telling you if you don’t step back…”
“Girls, a client cannot overcome his psychological blocks.” The receptionist cast a spell, its nice, beautiful voice echoing through the building. “Please come help him ease up with our Moe overload special!”
More hidden doors opened, and a pack of ravenous monsters surrounded Victor.
Dozens of fake, shapeshifting little girls with colored hair entered the hall, each of them catering to a different fetish. A pink-feathered magician girl; a blonde angel looking like a younger version of Miel; a tiny creature with tanuki ears; even a goth!
Victor immediately did the brave thing.
He fled through the nearest stairs, pursued by a pack of false, screaming little girls.
Faster than his pursuers, he reached the first floor of the hotel, long hallways with numbered doors. Some of them opened, doppelgangers trying to flank and jump at him. Using his wings, the Vizier flew over one, pushed another back with his scythe, and raced across the hallway while trying to locate the stairs to the second floor.
“I like mature women!” Victor shouted while dodging the doppelgangers, his training bearing fruits. Unfortunately, he quickly found himself surrounded in a T-shaped hallway.
“Onii-chan, I’m one hundred years old!” a girl with long green hair shouted, dressed like some ancient priestess. “That makes it okay!”
“[Ars Goetia: Happyland Battle Harem]!”
A group of mature succubi, marilith, and Malfy appeared to shield him from the enemy horde. “Sir, what—”
“No time, protect me!” Victor ordered one of the marilith, as one of the succubi was tackled to the ground by five doppelgangers. His summons immediately formed a defensive battle line, keeping the teenage-looking monsters at bay.
“Wow,” said Malfy, as he glanced at the enemy and instantly put the two and two together. “Even we didn’t go this far! I am impressed!”
“Why are you even here?” Victor asked, trying to find an opening.
“You summoned me, Mr. Victor. When a hero calls, I answer.”
Victor remembered Vainqueur boasting about a new Perk of his improving the summoning ability among his minions. Nice.
He remembered using [Black Horseman] to summon Noirceur the horse without an additional freerider though. Did it only work if he had another minion that fit the same category as the one called?
Also, why was Malfy summoned by a demon harem spell?
…
“Questions for later,” Victor spoke out loud, locating the stairs to the second level, leaping over the battleline, and leaving his soldiers to contain the doppelgangers flood. He quickly found the door of room eight, opened it, closed it behind him, then barricaded it with his scythe without looking back. Furious tiny hands scratched on the other side, but couldn’t get in.
This place needed to be burnt to the ground.
“Hey, it’s a private gathering!”
Victor turned around, finally meeting Orknoob face to face.
He looked exactly as the Vizier had imagined; a skinny, green-skinned orc with short red hair, wearing the standard Japanese novel attire of pants and a sweatshirt. A silver-haired loli with crimson eyes had tied him to a chair, sitting on his lap like some twisted hostage interrogation scene.
“Onii-ch—”
“[Sleep],” the Vizier immediately cast a spell, the fake loli falling unconscious to the ground. Crisis averted. “[Chains of Misfortune].”
Fiery chains bound Orknoob, making the orc moan in a way that bothered Victor.
The Vizier quickly scanned the area with a glance, identifying it as an expensively decorated bedroom. Besides Orknoob and the unconscious doppelganger, a dashing rogue sat around a table in a corner, looking at the scene with apathy and a glass of wine in hand. A dandy with hair and a short beard dyed red, the man dressed in an outrageous, feathered costume that wouldn’t disgrace a peacock.
“What’s happening here?” Victor asked, asking the dandy for his angle.
“I don’t know,” he replied in common while sipping his wine. “I’m hanging out with that trash because he paid me to.”
“You aren’t going to interfere?”
“No.”
Great.
On a closer look, it appeared that Orknoob and his host were busy reenacting a scene from some kind of manga or anime…
“After careful consideration, I don’t want to know,” the Vizier said, moving in front of the captive orc.
“Oh, you’re approaching me?” Orknoob asked, immediately sending terrible alarm signals. He sounded awfully calm and confident for someone bound to a chair.
“So we finally meet, Orknoob,” said Victor. “You can’t imagine how long I waited for this moment.”
“You’re a fan? You know it isn’t the first time I get chained by an admirer, but you’re the first to look like Momon!”
Victor didn’t understand the reference and didn’t care. “A fan,” the Vizier replied icily. “Yeah, you could say that.”
“Well then, you got lucky! Since my powers are at their maximum on this waifu day, if you donate me three thousand gold coins, I can send you to America, where all women are cowgirls!”
Victor removed his gauntlet, revealing the Moon Man’s mark on his left arm.
“Oh,” Orknoob said, realizing that Victor came from Earth too. “Oh… Sayonara then!”
You activated Orknoob’s [Spell Trap]!
Instant casting of the spells: [Accelerated Teleportation], [Help Signal], [Summon Planar Bodyguards].
Teleportation negated. Signal countered by [Non-Detection]. Summoning spell bounced back.