Chapter 75: Pocket Minions (1/2)
“Vainqueur! Vainqueur! Vainqueur!”
Carried by the voices and adoration of his fans, Vainqueur descended upon his Golden Colosseum while the roof opened on its own. The sun shone on the glittering golden walls of the majestuous building, the citizens on the stands blinded by the light.
“Yes! I am your emperor! Love me!” Vainqueur unleashed a stream of flames on the sandy ground of the arena, turning it to glass. The dragon circled the whole Colosseum before sitting on his royal promontory, which supervised the entire Colosseum. Batling Charlene waited at his side, protected from the sun by a heavy umbrella.
Only the presence of his Friend Victor would have made Vainqueur happier. Almost all of the city’s population had gathered into the overcrowded stands to praise him; and Jolie, who had returned early from her errand in Gardemagne alongside her minions, had been granted a spot on a smaller promontory opposite to his. Vainqueur had one built for his dragon guests, for he was a wyrm with a sense of hospitality.
While Batling Charlene had shamelessly copied the design of the late Maure’s arena— may that wretched fiend be forever grounded in the afterlife—Vainqueur loved his Colosseum, for every wall, every stone, had been coated with gold. He already imagined the day where he would reveal his hoard and pile it in the Colosseum’s midst, before the eyes of the envious Icefang.
“Minions!” Vainqueur roared to the crowd. “Welcome… to my Golden Colosseum! A place where the best of minions can fight for dominance! A place, where you will see your emperor crush those who threaten the peace! A place of glory, glamour, and gold! And a place where you can find the perfect breeding partner!”
[El Presidente] activated.
He quickly surveyed the audience, finding that many minions held a letter in hand. Batling Charlene had managed to distribute them in time.
“Each of you has also received a printed Letter of Breeding!” Vainqueur explained. “Each letter assigns you a number, and provides you with a list of other numbers; those of the perfect breeding partners, selected by me, your beloved master!”
He had spent many nights reviewing Corpseling Jules’ records, crafting entire trees of potential minion combinations.
“The letter also contains the coordinates of a location where compatible numbers must gather at the end of the day!” Vainqueur declared. “There, if you take the time to search, you will find the perfect soulmate, hidden among the choices presented to you!”
By turning this important matchmaking into a game, Vainqueur’s tactic would force his minions to exchange between themselves, to foster bonds while trying to find the perfect mate.
As expected, his announcement was warmly welcomed, for so long as the dragon lived, none of his minions would die unloved.
Congratulations! By creatively encouraging your minions to get busy, you have earned one [Dungeon Breeder] level! You earned the [MonsterHusbandry] Class Perk!
+30 HP, +1 STR, +1 VIT, +1 SKI, +1 AGI, +1 INT, +1 CHA, +1 LCK
[Monster Husbandry]: Your minions gain +5 to checks against negative status ailments, with their future children gaining permanent Resistance to [Disease], [Paralysis], and [Poison]. The conditions for your minions to spontaneously evolve into higher forms are lowered; promoted minions keep their previous class levels.
No longer would he suffer from poor goblin stock; the dragon would ensure the new generation would be up to his standards, dedicating their entire bloodlines to the betterment of his hoard.
“Now, welcome the minions who passed the preliminaries!” Vainqueur ordered. “Each of them granted a Crest for their prowess! Each of them with the power to shake the walls of this arena, and paint the sand with sweat!”
A golden door opened in the area below, the contestants walking into the arena under the acclaims of the bloodthirsty crowd.
Junior, as expected, was the favorite; the overgrown mimic had scared away all his opponents with fangs and blades. His spawn, Buzz Jelly, had also secured a place, leaping after its adoptive parent.
Barnabas the troll followed after them, covered head to toe in heavy armor and carrying a heavy mace as his weapon. Jules the Necromancer, ever discreet, slithered with his hands together next to Rolo the golem. The sixth contestant, Miel the angel, stuck her tongue out at Malfy in the stands, having defeated the fiend in the preliminaries to secure her spot.
Batling Charlene suspected that the angel only entered the tournament to beat her rival, and get ‘free exposure.’
While the audience kept acclaiming the contestants, who bowed before the emperor amidst a ring of molten glass, Vainqueur immediately noticed problems with the line-up.
“What are you doing here, farmer, instead of taking care of my food supply?” the dragon asked Rolo. The golem did not even need a Crest.
“Rolo wanted to try gladiator battles,” the golem said with enthusiasm. “Rolo has interests other than farming!”
Vainqueur couldn’t scold such dedication to the sport. However, he counted only six of them, out of eight. “Minion Charlene,” the dragon whispered to his Arena Architect. “Where are Sweet Chocolatine and Untasty Allison? You told me they passed.”
“Allison is sick, and Chocolatine volunteered to help her recover her health. Since you intend for a minion… ‘gathering’ after the tournament, and Allison is the priestess in charge of these events, I thought better to let her rest. Why? Is this a problem?”
Yes! Vainqueur could not hold a one-on-one tournament with only six fighters! There would be an odd number on the second turn! His eyes surveyed the stands, the solution instantly coming up upon catching sight of Jolie.
“Minions,” Vainqueur addressed the crowd. “You came here for a show, and I will give you the best of the best! A battle the likes of which you have never seen!”
His fans whistled and clapped at his announcement, their bloodthirstiness pumping him with energy.
“To honor the presence of my beautiful niece, Jolie,” Vainqueur’s niece’s head perked up, the minions clapping at her. “I will inaugurate this Colosseum by dueling her in a minion battle, using the six contestants as my fighters!”
His ‘champions’ exchanged glances, while his niece squealed in happiness at the surprise. “Uncle, I accept the challenge with great joy!” said Jolie. “My Kobold Rangers and my Kia will fight for my favor!”
Vainqueur winced at her wording, but his disgust was drowned by his excitation, as the crowd kept chanting, “Battle, battle, battle!”
“Each dragon trainer can select up to six minions,” Vainqueur laid down the rules. “Any trainer can switch between their minions at any time, but cannot support their pets with either Perks or items. Neither can minions summon other minions, and a minion who can no longer fight is considered out. The match will end when all of a trainer’s minions have fainted.”
[King of Games] activated.
Vainqueur’s mind explored every possible team combination, every minion management tactic that could help him prevail. The dragon had experience and power on his side, but Jolie had a legendary minion on her team… and the emperor’s one remained unavailable. This may prove a close match.
But if his minions managed to defeat Knight Kia before Jolie’s eyes, then he could finally destroy the blinding respect his niece had for her!
Vainqueur observed his champions with delight, the perfect strategy assembling in his mind.
After a few minutes, Jolie’s team, made of the Kobold Rangers and Knight Kia, entered the arena and faced the other contestants. Knight Kia, in particular, seemed eager to fight all but Angel Miel, a detail the dragon memorized for later. He knew that Jolie would keep her precious ace for last.
“Buzz Jelly, I choose you!” Vainqueur roared, his slimy champion hopping at the center of the battleground.
“For Empire!” the slime shouted with patriotic pride.
Jolie sent Black Ranger into the fray first, who immediately opened the hostilities with volleys of purple magical projectiles. The jelly hoped around them, while the grown-up kobold escalated to throwing lightning bolts, arrows of flame, and basic spells.
Vainqueur briefly marveled at how quickly the reptile had mastered magic—and found himself vexed that he himself still struggled with [Geomancy].
“Slime, use tackle!” Vainqueur ordered, giving his old kobold minion no mercy in this battle. “Find a chink in his defense, and smash him!”
“[SpaceZ]!” Moving almost faster than the eyes could follow, the tiny slime hit poor Black Ranger and ferociously slammed him against a golden wall. When Buzz unstuck itself, the reptile laid defeated, his bones broken by the brutal attack.
“Black Ranger is…” Batling Charlene began, as Vainqueur glared at her for her complete lack of enthusiasm in her announcements. “Black Ranger is unable to continue! The victory belongs to the slime!”
“I recall my Jelly, and send Angel Miel to take its place!” Vainqueur announced while the crowd cheered for their chosen slime, to shake things up.
“Blue, go crush that puny angel!” Jolie said in return.
“No, Jolie!” Knight Kia protested. “This is a terrible idea!”
Indeed. Blue was a priest type, and so from what Vainqueur understood, weak against an angel type. What a costly tactical mistake!
“I will prove myself to the great niece!” Blue insisted, raising his holy staff.
“Strike me, and I shall turn the other cheek,” Angel Miel said, confusing both her master and opponent by joining her hands together.
“Attack!” Vainqueur ordered, but the angel refused to obey him. That kind of thing always happened with traded minions! “Now is not the time to disobey your master!”
“Here I go!” Blue Ranger exploited the opportunity, incanting a spell and summoning a sphere of flames. “[Fireball]!”
The undead launched the projectile at the angel, only for the sphere to extinguish itself before it could even burn her wings. “What?” the priest protested, trying to summon a new one. “[Fireball]! [Fireball]!”
Yet his magic failed him.
“To strike an angel, except in self-defense, is against Mithras’ scriptures!” Kia warned. “He won’t grant you his power if you attack first!”
“This is ridiculous!” Blue complained. “I can lose my phenomenal cosmic power by breaking a stupid rule? I knew I should have turned to the Moon Man!”
“By striking against Heaven, thou undead shall be punished!” Angel Miel said, tightening her hands. “[Judgment]!”
A beam of light, weaker than the one Knight Kia once used on Vainqueur long ago, fell from the skies and hit Blue in the head. When the shining flash weakened, the poor ranger laid unconscious in the middle of a small crater.
“Blue Ranger cannot continue,” Charlene decided. “Miel is the victor!”
“Excellent, my bird of victory!” Vainqueur congratulated his minion, most of the audience clapping while the fiends remained silent. “You have followed my perfect strategy to the letter!”
“You planned this, Uncle?” Jolie asked with amazement.
“Of course,” Vainqueur said. No need to trouble her young mind with the thought that he may be fallible.
“I owe this victory to my superior heavenly education, and afterlife insurance,” Tasty Miel spoke to the audience. “You too can take care of your soul, by subscri—”
“Next!” Vainqueur roared before the angel could bore him to sleep. “Junior!”
“Treasure treasure!” The excalitrap replied in mimicspeak, while Pink Ranger took the field against it with a harp in hands.
“Pet of my minion, go easy on my bard!” Vainqueur asked, who while ruthless in a game, still wanted Sweet Pink to sing his praise later. “I will not tolerate you harming her too grievously!”
Not that he needed it, for Junior seemed to hesitate at striking the bard on its own; perhaps moved by a strange kind of familiarity. In response, Pink began to sing a powerful lullaby about swords coming to punish the naughty mimics. The excalitrap stumbled, threatening to fall asleep, and forcing Vainqueur to recall it for later.
This time, the dragon sent Barnabas. The troll wasted no time in trying to smash poor Pink with his mace, but the smaller reptile proved herself slippery and quick, dodging attacks while stringing her harp. The musical instrument released powerful shockwaves
Yet every time the sonic attacks seemed to damage Barnabas, his bones put themselves back in place, or his wounds closed.
[Troll Regeneration] activated.