Chapter 66: Buzzs Jelly Adventures (2/2)
“That dirty foreigner bit me!” the alien complained, managing to throw Buzz off its ‘face.’ What little oxygen remained inside the cabin had left, alongside gravity. The slime managed to land on a wall, before exploiting the momentum to throw itself back at the invader.
“Eye treasure tasty!” Buzz roared like a lion, before attempting to slim-slam the enemy again.
No damage!
But the alien beast, being bigger, simply swept Buzz aside, before trying to invade the cabin. The enemy approached the button with one of its appendages, threatening to end the mission.
The thought of failing its country spurned the young slime’s warrior spirit. Buzz hopped the damaged pipe, and knocked it out; then, shaping its slimy body, it redirected the focused steam at the alien. The beast screamed in pain, as the jelly sprayed the heated gas at its antennae.
Buzz then closed the pipe with its body, letting pressure build-up and reach a boiling point.
“FOR EMPIRE!”
An explosion of steam threw the young slime at his foe like a cannonball, forcefully ejecting it from the cabin with a brutal collision. Buzz repeatedly bounced back into the cabin, shattering some gears, while the invader flew across space, distanced by the Sword Rocket.
Managing to glue itself to the craft’s wall, even without gravity, the young cosmonaut glanced through the destroyed window, to see the Mooooooooon with its own eyes.
It was almost as beautiful as it imagined; even if on a closer look, it seemed less silvery and more of a dull grey. The slime noticed sprawling cities of black spires and lakes of noxious tar on the surface, which the outrelanders had mistaken for spots. Tentacles sprung from craters where the dark side of the Mooooon began, wriggling in a maddened dance and spreading purple clouds to the bright side.
In short, it was the perfect place where to settle a colony!
However, as expected, the Moooooon had an atmosphere; which meant a hard crash.
Worse, the alien had pierced through the coating! Buzz had to protect the cabin, or the entry might damage the button!
Stretching its body, Buzz covered the hole made by the broken windows, gluing itself to the craft’s metal as it entered the Moooon’s atmosphere. The ship ignited, burning the surface of the slime’s jellyskin.
You are taking heavy [Fire] damage!
Warning: You have lost one-quarter of your HP.
The pain was unbearable, but Buzz wouldn’t let go. No flame would enter the shuttle, so long as it lived!
Warning: You have fallen below half your HP!
In spite of everything, Buzz drew into the last of its willpower to hang on to the craft, closing its eyes. It had to live… to land on the Mooooon and look up at its homeworld… with patriotic pride!
Critical health!
The thought of its adoptive spawner waiting for its return flashed in the slime’s young mind, as the Sword Rocket crashed on the Mooooon’s surface. The craft shook, the fires extinguished by a storm of grey sand until the craft slowed down.
When at long last Buzz opened its eyes again, the ship had broken in half, but the cabin—and the button—remained intact. Two tentacled white beast watched the young slime from the grey shores of a tar lake.
As Buzz landed on the sand, already recovering from its burns, it thought: what a small hop for a slime.
But such a great leap… for the Empire!
You entered the [Outremoon] Field! Traits: [Low-gravity], [Cold Atmosphere], [Hallucinatory Terrain], [Nocturnal].
[Abomination], [Alien], [Eldritch] and [Insect] types will have their stats increased by one stage, while [Frost], [Darkness], [Gravity], [Psychic], [Unholy], and [Eldritch] effects will have their effects strengthened. [Moon] and [Madness] effects will be greatly strengthened.
Divine-classes associated with the Moon Man or possessors of the [Claimed by the Moon Man] Perk are immune to all negative effects of the Field and gain +5 on all checks.
“It survived?” the first squid asked in R’leyhan.
“You owe me twenty-thousand seashells,” the other creature replied to its grumbling companion. “I am Thul-Gathar, chosen slime. Welcome to the Moooooon!”
“Moooooon!”
For becoming the first carbon-based being of Outremonde to reach the moon against all odds, you earned a [Heroic Crest].
Buzz glanced up, seeing a rainbowy, shiny treasure descend from the sky. The slime observed it, but a quick glance disappointed the young adventurer.
Not swordy enough.
The cosmonaut decided to offer the treasure to Excalidad as a souvenir and then jumped back into the sword rocket’s wreckage to do its patriotic duty.
The mission was not over.
Buzz hopped and smashed the big red button.
When the rift in space opened, Vainqueur could barely contain his joy. The entire crowd had turned speechless, their heart overtaken by religious silence. Finally, after an agonizingly long minute, a white squid and the jelly hoped out of the gate, carrying a strange Crest.
The seafood appraised the minions, waved a tentacle at Manling Victor, and then addressed the audience. “We come in peace, gametes!” the squid declared in its kind’s primitive language. “The will of our father has been done!”
Manling Victor’s zealous minions let out a shout of joy and relief, although they probably didn’t understand the language.
“Suck my tentacle!” the squid added, the cultists shouting as happily as before. The creature let out a sound which Vainqueur took for a sigh. “Love thy flock, they said...”
“Is there air on your Moon?” Manling Victor asked, more excited than Vainqueur had ever seen him. “There isn’t any on mine.”
“Ah, it is true that you gametes need oxygen to live,” the squid said, “We have an atmosphere where your kind can survive. Do not eat the food though, unless you want a third leg.”
“Then me first!” Manling Victor immediately crossed the gate.
“Finally, a new world free of dragons, but full of quests and adventures!” Vainqueur rejoiced, taking steps to cross the portal himself.
Only for his lackey to step out, his skin drained of all colors, his expression torn between panic and shock. “Your Majesty, no!” he pleaded to his master. “Don’t cross it!”
What? Why? “I wish to see the planet moon with my own eyes, minion.”
“Your Majesty, if you… if you see what’s beyond… you will never come back from it!”
Oh? Was the moon made of gold? Vainqueur immediately leaped through the portal, overtaken by greed.
He slowly landed on the other side, his claws sinking in a desert of dull gray sand. The sky was dark as the grimmest darkness, Outremonde a blue sun above his head. The air smelled of dreadful, terrible scents. Vainqueur felt an overwhelming sense of dread, his intuition telling him that he had stepped into a place where no dragon should tread.
Why? Why did his dragon survival instinct went into overdrive? What could possibly threaten him? A worm biting his ankle? He looked down to check the ground.
The ground...
Vainqueur’s voice died in his throat, as he recognized the substance his legs had sunk into.
Lead.
Lead everywhere!
Vainqueur frantically glanced around himself, witnessing whole mountains made of the cursed metal surrounding him. The terrible, mad revelation dawned on him, an ancient cosmic truth blasted unto his naive mind.
The Moon…
The Moon was made of lead!
Vitality check failed!
Vainqueur felt tremendous pain in his chest, right at his heart’s location. For the first time in his long life, the dragon struggled to breathe. “Min… minion…” He managed to sputter before his limbs gave out.
The emperor collapsed onto the lead, on the verge of death.
Murmurin almost lost its beloved ruler that black day. The good Emperor Vainqueur, who had triumphed over countless foes, was brought low by a stroke; his kind heart broken by the terrible cosmic truth.
Only the good thinking of Grand Vizier Victor, and the efforts of the loyal minions, saved the Emperor from death. They carried the great dragon to the one place that could save his life: his hoard. For hours they showered him with gold and gems until at long last, the great dragon’s heart beat again. One minute too late, and Murmurin would have lost its beloved master.
“Minion…” were the good Emperor’s first words, upon awakening.
“Yes, Your Majesty?” Handsome Victor asked his beloved master, his voice full of concern.
“The planet Moon cannot sustain dragon life...” the good Emperor lamented. His dream to fulfill quests in space had ended, shattered forever.
For we often look up to the skies, hoping for gold.
But sometimes, there is only lead.