Chapter 43: Fools Gold (1/2)
It was raining jelly this morning.
Victor knew that there were moments in the life of a man, where the world didn’t seem to make sense. His life had stopped making sense long ago, so he only bothered with raising an eyebrow at the sight.
He had been busy mimic-walking Vainqueur Junior around town with a chain leash when it started. Colored clouds appeared out of nowhere, before raining green, blue, red, and white jelly monsters. Puddle-sized creatures of colored goo landed on the houses and the ground, each looking like a blob with two vitreous eyes. Victor used his [Monster Insight] Perk on a blue one, which released some residual electricity around itself.
Thunder Jelly
Type: Slime
Strong against Physical, Water, Acid, and Electric.
Weak against Earth and Magic.
A young slime with the ability to generate bio-electricity. While incredibly weak and vulnerable to most spells, their body makes them immune to physical attacks. Often used as dungeon cleaners or pets by bigger monsters.
“Interesting, a new magical weather,” Furibon said from within the scythe; by now Victor always carried it around for safety reasons. “Is it the start of a slime season?”
The slime let out screeching sounds which Victor translated as crying.
“Babies?” Vainqueur Junior said, with a hint of concern and affection. Oh, yes. Victor had forgotten Mimics were Slime-types. These creatures were Junior’s distant cousins.
Victor figured that in any other city, a rain of monsters would have been cause for alarm, but the citizens of Murmurin took it in stride. “Free food!” a gnoll merchant rejoiced, immediately moving to capture the slimes in bottles.
“Sweet, fire-starters!” a werewolf transformed into monster form to grab a fire jelly, probably to use it in his chimney.
Instead of the defense of a village against a monster army, the event quickly turned into a slime hunting party. Even Victor participated, albeit reluctantly, as his pet strained against its chains and forced him to move around.
“Babies!” Junior shouted as it grabbed the crying jellies with its hands, putting them on its back. The scene reminded an amused Victor of a mother hen putting chicks on its back for safety.
It was a pretty fun moment, if stressful, as Junior seemed intent on rescuing more slimes than the other citizens could capture. How long would that rain last—
“MINION!”
Victor found himself teleported to the temple district, leaving his chained pet behind to meet his master. Unlike the rest of the city, this area, located closer to the mountain, didn’t suffer from the rain yet.
“Minion!” Vainqueur angrily pointed a claw at the new Temple of the Twelve Gods under construction. The Church of Shesha, careful of the local population, had brought mostly beastkin workers from abroad to build the place, overseen by dwarf engineers. Built on a hill next to the volcano, the final design would put Haudemer’s cathedral to shame.
“It’s the new temple,” Victor replied. The place was nowhere near finished, with only the main walls raised. “Why, you want it gone?”
“It looks taller than my statue in central square!” Vainqueur complained, incensed. A crowd of monsters and workers gathered nearby to look at the giant dragon. “No way this merchant con’s statue can overshadow mine! Fetch me Mot!”
Here we go again, Victor thought with a sigh, grabbing the bottle around his belt with his free hand which carried Junior’s chain beforehand. “Mot, come out.”
The genie appeared in a puff of white smoke, his expression sorrowful upon seeing Vainqueur. “Oh.”
“Minion of my minion, make the biggest statue of me that you can!”
“Another statue?” Victor could see the light in Mot’s eyes slowly dying out with each new wish, replaced by the familiar, empty gaze of a jaded veteran of Vainqueur’s antics.
“But one made of rubies this time,” Vainqueur clarified. “So it looks crimson like my scales. Make it taller than that temple.”
“Mot, please create a pure ruby statue of His Majesty,” Victor said, sympathizing with the creature. So far, Vainqueur had mostly used the djinn for whimsical demands.
The genie let out a heavy sigh and snapped his fingers. A giant representation of Vainqueur slightly smaller than the Statue of Liberty, made of the purest rubies, stood in front of the new temple. It would have been an amazing, impressive sight… if Mot hadn’t represented the dragon ready to take flight with an arm extended like Superman’s.
Obviously, Vainqueur was too enamored by his own image to find the subtle ridiculousness in the sight; and the crowds were too amazed by the impressive display of magic to laugh at it.
“Make a smaller statue of my chief of staff next to it,” Vainqueur added. “Onyx for the clothes, and lapis-lazuli for the skin.”
“Do you have any use of my phenomenal cosmic powers outside of landscaping and making money?” Mot asked, increasingly frustrated.
”No,” Vainqueur replied bluntly.
The genie made an exhausted face. While he had taken reimbursing Victor’s debt in stride, Vainqueur’s demands had slowly eaten away at his enthusiasm.
“A dragon does not rule a city full of dung,” the Emperor declared. He had gone on a wishing rampage after visiting Murmurin for the first time since his month of seclusion, due to finding the place sub-par. “His land must be as shiny as his hoard!”
Victor had to admit that Vainqueur may have a hidden talent for architecture. After wishing away all lead in his dominion—Mot turning it to gold—Vainqueur had used the genie almost exclusively for landscaping: creating extravagant marble-paved roads, adding golden dragon statues on every street corner, and overall transforming Murmurin into an impressive capital worthy of a dragon emperor.
“I wish to rule a city of gems,” Vainqueur ordered. “The shiniest place in the world!”
“Is that an actual wish?” Mot asked with a frown, Victor nodding. The genie let out a heavy sigh; like a condemned criminal resigning himself to his death. “I will grant it.”
“I will leave you both to your landscaping,” Victor said. “I have to catch Junior before it does something stupid, and then meet with Kia at Allison’s place.”
“Minion, I changed my mind,” Vainqueur said with a serious voice tone. “I do not want you to breed with Knight Kia. She is a terrible influence on my niece, and she will be one on you too.”
“It’s fine, I’m taking someone else out to dinner tonight. Hopefully for the last time.”
“Good, we shall go return the bottle to the quest giver tomorrow,” Vainqueur declared, surprising both Victor and the djinn.
“You will?” Mot’s head perked up in joy. “You truly will?”
“A dragon does not go back on his word,” Vainqueur replied with pride. “I said I would return the bottle to its owner, and I will. He shall get the bottle, and we shall keep you, Minion Mot. You shall never stop working for V&V, I swear it!”
If there was a picture for ‘absolute despair’ in the dictionary, Mot’s face would have had to be the top pick. Victor absentmindedly used [Monster Insight] on him, in case his species had some tricks up its sleeve.
???
The same result as Melodieuse. Maybe his Perk only worked on lower level monsters?
But then why could it work on Vainqueur himself?
Mmm...
After returning Junior and its newly adopted slime litter to the castle, Victor flew to Allison’s place. As Rolo’s mechanic, she shared a house with the golem and recently agreed to let Barnabas settle in her workshop. From outside, their workshop looked like a mad scientist’s haven, with robot parts littering the ground alongside gears, reservoirs of oil, and forging tools.
He found Kia waiting for him in front of an open garage, Allison, and Barnabas the troll tinkering with Rolo’s gears. “Sorry I’m late,” he told the knight. “Got a few problems with the rain. I think we caught most of the slimes.”
“I know,” Kia nodded at a glass lamp above the garage’s entrance. A sleeping red slime provided the light. “They’re strangely cute for blobs of goo.”
“Do you think we could produce an electric current with enough of them?” Victor asked, unsure if other countries had tried to tame them.
“You would need a lot of them, and they remain wild monsters,” Kia pointed out. “A few alchemists tried to domesticate them, but most turned to powerstone study after the initial failures.”
Then again, most civilized species lacked Perks useful for dealing with monsters, such as Victor’s [Monster Student]. If he had managed to tame something as alien as Junior, Victor thought he could still make use of the creatures.
“I haven’t found anything on djinns,” Kia said, as Allison and Barnabas finished their check-up of Rolo, the golem flexing his arms. “You would think a species capable of granting wishes would have more lore about it.”
“Yeah, I wanted to do more research on his kind before wishing for stuff, but Vainqueur hated lead too much to listen.” At least he convinced the dragon not to wish anything too spectacular or sensitive for the moment. “I don’t trust him. Vainqueur wants to return the bottle to Barsino, and that would help us fact-check that map.”
“I cannot say if it would be wise to give the djinn to Barsino or not,” Kia admitted.
“Isn’t he a hero of the Century War?”
“Yes, but he only supported Gardemagne because he saw an opportunity to claim territory for his country. I met him once, and he struck me as cunning and charming, but also as an opportunist.”