Chapter 23: The Regent (2/2)
“It won’t work,” Lavere replied, reading his mind, before taking her leave with Savoureuse. “See you soon, Vic.”
Victor rode to the village’s main temple a lot less confident than before.
The temple the gods Isengrim and Cybele shared wasn’t a temple as much as a druidic circle, ten olive trees circling two statues of the deities. Isengrim was represented as a white deer whose horns ended in blades, with the goddess Cybele was an incredibly beautiful woman, with flowers for hair, vines for a dress, and horns of wood.
Victor climbed down his undead ride, who Allison had forbidden inside the area, and walked inside the circle. He found his fellow earthling and Chocolatine keeping watch over a huge prisoner.
The priests had trapped a demon in a circle of runes, a huge, bipedal, insectoid monster with ice plates for an exoskeleton and sapphires for eyes. The creature looked big and nasty enough to tear Victor in half with its two pincers. He immediately used [Monster Insight] on the fiend.
Malfaisant
Bug Demon (Demon/Insect)
Strong against Unholy, Frost, Water, Physical, Disease, Poison, Critical Hits, Petrify, Bug, and Swarms.
Weak against Fire, Holy, Demonslayer, and Bugslayer.
An ice demon with unconventional ideas and a greedy streak that rivals dragons. Local manager of one of Hell’s corporations, Infercorp, which is a completely legitimate business mindful of post-mortem customer safety. Has come to investigate the ‘demon slaughterhouse.’
“It was an accident!” the young werewolf retorted. “I intended to summon an imp like always, but a major demon came through instead!”
“Three hundred lesser fiends went missing after using your summoning line, and my superiors sent me to investigate,” the demon rasped with a smarmy voice, glancing at Victor. “Are you the legitimate authority? The Grand Dragon Vizier Victor Dalton?”
“Lord Victor for short.” He was sick of his full, pompous title. “Malfaisant, is it? Your kindred had… how to say it, dragon accidents, and then were recycled.”
“I do not follow.”
Victor pointed at animated demon skeletons building up a house next to the druidic circle, the bug fiend looking at them, then at Victor, then back at the undead. “You killed my kind, to raise them as mindless slaves?”
Victor cringed at the wording but nodded, as the demon’s cold eyes peered into his soul. “You mortals say Hell is other people, but they are wrong. Hell is people like you.”
The fact it came from a goddamn demon made it all the more shameful.
“Which is to say, Hell needs people like you.” The demon’s tone turned admirative, much to Victor’s confusion. “People who care about the bottom line. About profit. Mortals who are ready to sully their hand for their greater good.”
“Wait, you’re not mad?”
“Please, Lord Victor, call me Malfy,” the demon replied with a charming voice. “No, I am not mad. In fact, I misjudged you. I feared that you were cunning demon hunters, but you have the trappings of a good business partner. Let’s make a deal.”
“So I can keep summoning demons for more food?” Chocolatine asked, hopeful.
“Not in the temple!” Allison chided her. “And no!”
“But we have more carnivores than meat! We cannot sustain our ecological niche without sacrifices!”
Her argument surprised Victor, who found it rather well-thought out. Not that the demon cared. “I will reroute the summoning channel to send you victims of corporate downsizing and violent layoffs. By having you deal with the severance package, we can cut corners on our execution costs and you get free labor. Everybody wins.”
Victor wanted to be horrified at the sheer callousness, before realizing he should have expected something like that from a hellspawn.
“Lord Victor, since you seem interested in economically developing your region, I have fantastic opportunities for you. Succubus brothels, casinos…”
“You are seriously asking me for Hell’s permission to invest there?” Victor asked, dumbfounded.
“Taking over the mortal world by force? Treacherously twisting the terms of Faustian bargains? It damages our PR, and Angels have a killer marketing department. If we want to improve our shareholders’ soul dividends, we must offer clear deals where mortals are so happy with our customer service, that they convince their friends and families to sell their souls too. ‘Buying souls by doing good business.’ That’s my motto.”
Victor had more urgent matters to deal with than vague corporate promises. Also, Hell. ”We picked a fight with the local Demon King's forces.”
”Brandon Maure? His mother runs a demon corporation different from ours. We often cooperate on joint-ventures on Outremonde, but there is no love lost between us.”
That made it better, but just barely. “If you want to come, you have to bring food, do whatever labor we ask of you, and respect the law, which includes no lead. In return, you won’t pay taxes.”
“No taxes?” The demon’s head perked up. “This is way better than I thought. I will gladly use my control swarm ability to assist with food production. Part of the revenue from our ventures will also find their way to your pockets, alongside VIP privileges.”
“Are you bribing me in public?”
”No, of course not, I donate to the community.”
Yes, a bribe. Victor would keep one one-tenth for himself and send the rest to Vainqueur, to avoid trouble.
“I would expect a demon to stay in Ishfania,” Allison said, doubtful.
“‘King’ Maure imposed a heavy tax in order to fund ‘the inevitable war of annihilation against Gardemagne.’ Now, human sacrifices and slave gladiator combats, I can get behind. But losing two-thirds of my hard-won savings? Never!”
Charming. “Is he telling the truth?” Victor asked Chocolatine.
“It’s a circle of demon binding, he is forced to,” the werewolf said, before joining her hands. “Please, please, say yes.”
Victor rolled his eyes, before considering it. They needed food and money that much, and he had already stepped as low as selling corpses for money. On the other hand, he was wary to give a demon a permanent residency in Murmurin, even one promising to behave.
“Okay, at least for the demon downsizing,” he decided, Malfy letting out a happy sound and Chocolatine smirking with cruelty. “But summon demons outside the town next time. For the... investments... I need to consider it more thoughfully.”
“I will return to Hell and come back with a proposal from management. Thank you for your trust.” Malfy vanished in a cloud of white smoke, the circle following afterward.
“Thank you, Vic,” Allison congratulated him. “I don’t know what I would do without you. You just ooze authority now.”
“I’m still trying to get the Earl Jones tone right,” Victor joked, “Like ‘You have failed me for the last time.’”
“You sound like Tim Curry, more creepy than awesome.”
“Okay, I’ll try again. ‘The emperor is not as forgiving as I am.’” Which was true.
“No, seriously,” she laughed at his performance. “Stop, it sounds ridiculous.”
Victor had quite a fun time hanging out with Allison, talking about Earth, about their respective experiences, and life in general. She wasn’t that different from him; she died a stupid death by causing an explosion while tinkering with a car’s fuel reserve and adapted to the new world in spite of being surrounded by monsters.
She liked gardening and was very passionate about making the desert green again. Her partner, Rolo, couldn’t be bothered to do anything but gathering seeds and disdained everything else. Much like a certain other creature...
He could definitely feel a connection brewing. “Hey, Allison...” Victor plucked up his courage. “Would you like to have that drink tonight?”
“I’m kind of fully booked with the orgy, but we can try tomorrow. Is tomorrow okay?”
That wasn’t the answer Victor expected. “You are breeding with other people?”
“What? No.” She looked at him strangely. “I am a vestal of the goddess of pleasure, and the Moon Man cult is organizing an orgy. Since our cults are friendly, I have been asked to help with protective spells.”
“And you… you participate?”
“Vic, this is an orgy for werewolves. During the full moon.”
His brain betrayed him and provided him with a mental picture. It felt like an ice shower. “I’m sorry, I need to go out,” he blurted out, struggling to breathe. “I need air.”
“We are outside Vic… Vic?” Allison called him, as he fled the druidic ring. “Vic, what’s up?”
Victor’s mind blocked out her words, as the picture wouldn’t leave his mind. Goddammit, now he would need to drown himself in work to forget! He climbed on the back of his ride, ready to return to the castle when he noticed Chocolatine following him outside. “Yes?”
“So, mm, Victor, about that orgy...” Chocolatine gave him a cheery smile.
“Do you want to breed?”
Victor gave her a blank, empty stare that should have made her drop dead. She took it as encouragement. “It’s okay, I’m on the pill. No full moon transformation. We can put that Monster Rider Perk to gooooood use.”
Okay, that was too many details, too soon. She skipped a lot of steps. “I didn’t know you saw me that way…” said the adventurer, unsure how to answer without her slicing his throat in his sleep.
“I didn’t either until you killed that lich with your scythe,” she swooned, putting her hands on her cheeks, “The way you rode that undead beast and trapped his soul for eternal torment… and the way you showed that demon who was the boss...”
Victor suddenly realized that his monster-oriented Perks combined with his increased charisma meant monsters may see him as quite the catch. All that time he had failed at pursuing human women when he should have asked out werewolves instead.
On one hand, she was cute, and somewhat nice when demons and undead weren’t involved; but on the other hand, she was Chocolatine. And the crazy gleam in her eyes...
…
No. Definitely not. “I’m sorry, but, I don’t want to ruin our friendship,” Victor lied, leaving her crestfallen.
No way he would BLEEP her except to save the human race.
Even Victor had standards.