Chapter 119 - Harry Potter Fanfiction 39 - Beneath Your Window (1/2)
Plot: Hermione finds her life in turmoil and decides that the best move is to run from it all. To her surprise, she's not the only one running from life.
Pairing: DxHr
Chapter 1 / The End
”I ... I don't love you any more.”
The words echoed eerily throughout the room and a pair of chocolate eyes widened in horror as the words pounced their way into her ears. She threw her arms protectively over her ċhėst, her mouth hanging slightly open as she panted heavily. The fight had exhausted her. She had thrown and received so many insults and accusations that she was physically exhausted and now he had thrown her the last agonizing blow. He had won, and she knew it.
She felt hot tears threaten to spill, and even if it was in no way logical, she didn't want him to see her hurt. Giving him a glare of pure loathing, she turned on her heel and bounced up the stairs.
”Hermione,” he called after her, but she just burst into their bedroom with anger pulsating from every inch of her being.
Her suitcase was resting under their bed and she dragged it out with such force that she nearly tumbled backwards as it came shooting out. She regained her step and threw it forcefully on the bed. He came to a halt in the doorway when she began throwing her clothes into the suitcase. Hermione Granger never threw anything, and least of all her clothes. They were always meticulously folded and carefully placed on top of each other, whether in a suitcase or a wardrobe. But right now they were strewn all over the space of the suitcase, which had been magically enhanced to room more.
”Hermione, I had to say something...” he said in a hushed voice.
She gave him no notice. Instead, she had begun rounding up her books from every corner of the room, and brushed past him to find her belongings from anywhere else in the house.
”When you said you weren't pregnant, I was relieved,” he said as he followed closely on her heel. He saw her freeze up for a moment before she strode into living room of their apartment. ”I knew deep down... that this isn't right any more.”
She closed her eyes in pain for a second and her shaking hands fumbled through the bookshelf in the far corner of the living room. They had tried to get pregnant for four months, but with no luck. Their last attempt had resulted in a negative test only three days prior. She had been heartbroken, he had been relieved. Her heart was throbbing painfully in her ċhėst at the realisation, and for the first time in many months she thanked God for not bringing a child into the whole situation. The whole messy situation.
He continued to follow her around the apartment and back up the stairs as she dumped it all in her suitcase. His excuses rang in her ears, making her want to scream out to make it stop. They were all excuses for why and how, but there were no apologies and no regrets on her behalf. She knew he regretted having to go through this fight, she could tell it made him uncomfortable. But he did not regret any hurt he had caused her. That's when she realised she was not his top priority, and she might not have been for a long time.
”Were there someone else?” she asked suddenly, her voice surprisingly firm.
He was taken aback by her sudden question, and perhaps more so by the coldness in her voice. It was a tone he had not heard her use in a long time, not even towards people she didn't get along with. She was always polite and pleasant when she spoke, always intent on making a good impression no matter who she spoke to. He remained standing with his mouth opening and closing, knowing that the answer would make things even worse.
”Answer me,” she hissed in a voice trembling with anger.
”Yes.”
Her eyes snapped shut as she felt her insides grow completely cold. She had done nothing but love him ever since the day he had finally kissed her during their 7th year at Hogwarts. All through the war, all through the consequences of war, she had loved him. She had loved him dearly and passionately, and God help her she still did. But when she opened her eyes she realised the man before her wasn't who she had fallen in love with. Her lips perched into a thin line as her thoughts battled intensely in her mind. He wasn't who she had fallen for, but she knew she still loved him and she knew damn well that this had crushed her.
”For how long?” she asked in the same chilly voice that sent chills down his spine.
He watched her carefully, taking in the curls that seemed to have taken on a life of their own at the moment, taking in her closed up expression and finally he met a pair of stony, brown eyes that normally emitted so much enthusiasm and joy for life. He swallowed heavily, knowing he was the one who had put out the light in them.
”You don't want to know the details. Please, don't do this to yourself,” he begged, reaching out for her.
The movement towards her, his attempt to sooth her, made her hiss like a wounded stray cat, and he snapped his hand back immediately.
”You are going to tell me right now.” She bit as she threw the lid on her suitcase shut.
”6 months.”
”Fucking bastard,” she spat, her eyes once again welling with tears. ”You were shagging someone else before we decided to try to have a baby? You wanted to bring a child into this train wreck of a relationship?!”
He looked down in shame, his hands fidgeting slightly by his side. ”That was a big mistake, and I realise that”
”Did you bring her here?” she suddenly asked, her eyes resting on their king size bed.
He swallowed noticeably, and when his eyes met hers she didn't need any verbal answer.
”Oh my God,” she spat in disgust.
With that, her final walls crumbled and she let out a heart wrenched sob as she dragged her suitcase off the bed and began descending the stairs with slight difficulty. Her eyes were blurred, her body was trembling with hurt and anger and her suitcase was heavy from all her belongings.
”Hermione, please,” he said in a pained voice. ”I never meant to hurt you, I...”
”Oh that's rich,” she said and gave a distorted laugh, a laugh so bitter it pierced right through his skin. ”You never meant to hurt me? You carried on a relationship for 6 months, you had her in our bed and then you agreed to have a child with me.”
Her voice was growing steadily louder, and he was flinching from several of her words. He had known this would be difficult, but he hadn't quite predicted how hard it was to know he had caused her this pain.
”I may not love you like a lover any more, but I still love you as a friend,” he said quietly. ”Please forgive me, Hermione. I need you as a friend.”
She looked at him in utter disbelief.
”You have stabbed me so thoroughly in the back that any hope of saving this friendship is so far beyond reach,” she said harshly, though not in an attempt to hurt. She was merely telling the truth.
”Please, Hermione. I've known you for practically my entire life!” he begged.
”Right now I can't see you. Or hear you. Or even be remotely near you.”
He swallowed again as he watched her standing in the middle of their living room, clutching her suitcase with her slender fingers. He noticed her knuckles were white from her iron grip.
She felt the tears blur her vision again, and when a sudden urge to hex him into next year came over her, she grabbed a fistful of Floo powder and stepped into the fireplace.
”Fuck you, Ron.”
And with those final words of goodbye, she left behind a relationship she had invested everything in; all of her hopes and dreams, her future, her love, her care, her work and her entire being. And he had taken it all, soaked it in before he threw it on the floor and stomped all over it. Her tears ran freely down her cheeks as she tumbled out of the fireplace with her suitcase in tow.
”Hermione!” someone squeaked in surprise.
She remained rooted to the spot by the fireplace, still clutching her suitcase as if her life depended on it. Ginny sprung up from her couch when she saw Hermione's miserable appearance. Her eyes darted to the suitcase, and they widened when realization hit her hard.
”What happened?” she asked in disbelief as she came darting towards her friend, who was now shivering madly.
Hermione let out a great sob and wondered if her knees would keep her standing for long. She covered her eyes with her free hand, and sobbed repeatedly. Ginny's small arms reached around her and held her firmly, and she whispered soothing words in her ear. When Hermione forced herself to straighten up and open her eyes, she saw Harry standing completely stunned in the doorway.
”He had her in our bed,” she said, shock and incredible hurt hitting her mercilessly yet again.
The other two stared at her with their mouths open, looking like someone had just slapped them across the face. Tears welled up in Ginny's eyes, and she turned to Harry with a horror-stricken expression decorating her features.
”Ron's been seeing someone else?” she asked in a hushed, weary voice.
Hermione gave a jerky nod, and the ragged breath that followed emphasized how much it pained her to admit, and the redhead strengthened the hold around her shoulders.
”6 months.”
A slight yelp escaped Ginny's lips and she clapped the free hand over her mouth. Hermione knew Ginny had thought, or at least hoped, it had been a one night stand. A one night stand could be excused, or at least somewhat understood and explained, but a conscious choice to continue an ȧduŀterous relationship for 6 months was something entirely different.
”But you were trying to...” Ginny's voice trailed off into nothingness as she cast a desperate look at Harry.
The muscles around his mouth was tense, and she could see him grind his teeth even if he was standing several feet away. Hermione knew it was an awkward position. He was both of their friends, and Ginny was Ron's sister. She couldn't expect them to take sides in this, yet she desperately wanted them to. She wanted them to hate him as much as she did right now, but it would not happen. They had other ties to him than she did.
”Yes, we were,” she confirmed. ”And his affair started before we decided on it.”
”But thank God, I'm not pregnant,” she hissed. ”What the hell would he have done if I was?!”
Before she could stop herself, she had banged her fist onto her suitcase, and the meeting with the handle sent ripples of pain through her. When she looked up, she saw Harry's face contort in anger.