Chapter 75 - The Dilemma (2/2)

”Claire,” he says, ”this is not a decision I'm supposed to make. It's your personal life.” But please say no, say no, say no, Gabriel's heart quietly says.

She makes a small smile. ”I don't know what to do. He's your brother. I didn't want to disappoint him or anything. I think maybe he just wants someone to talk to. Maybe he feels alone.”

I can ȧssure you Miguel never feels alone; he can have a dozen women squirming at his feet at a flick of his finger, thinks Gabriel. But what he actually says is, ”Yeah, maybe my brother feels a bit lonely. Did he tell you what he wanted?”

”You mean, where we're supposed to go?”

”Yeah.”

”I don't know. I haven't said yes, you know. I don't feel like going out with him.”

THEN PLEASE DON'T GO, FOR PETE'S SAKES, Gabriel screams in his mind, but his mouth says, ”Well, maybe you should give him a chance. Maybe it's just dinner. Just a little talk or something.”

”You think so?”

”Yeah, whatever.”

”Okay. Are you sure it's okay with you? Because he's coming back later tonight, and he would need my answer.”

Oh, please say no, tell him to go back to our mother in Switzerland or wherever underground bunker she's currently living in, Gabriel thinks, but as always, his mouth says, ”Yeah, sure, whatever. Just…you know, try to stay safe. Just dinner or something safe.”

”Yeah, okay,” she says. ”I'll give him a shot, then.” She smiles. And for some reason, Gabriel thinks that's the saddest smile he had ever seen in his life. Like Claire is about to cry. Like he just sent her to the gallows.

After she leaves and closes the door, Gabriel feels like choking himself. You goddamn idiot, he mutters to his reflection on the dead computer screen. You've just let that woman out of your grasp, and perhaps, out of your life, forever.

Now what?