627 V2 ch99 (2/2)

Rhys laughed. ”That's because you're just a kid. These are professionals. This is their livelihood. If they don't do well, they can lose their pay.”

Noah hummer and pulled out his phone so he could start taking some pictures. He did a few selfies, even roping in Jeremy to pose with us. Then he took off his hat and looked where Maberry had signed. ”Hey Jeremy, can I go around and ask for some autographs. If I can get everyone to sign this hat, I'll have to retire it.”

Jeremy hesitated. ”You can ask, but if they don't want to, don't make a scene.” He looked at Zeke and Rhys. ”You two can go too. Help yourself to any of the refreshments.”

”Awesome!” Noah looked at me. ”Want me to grab you some snacks?”

I shrugged. ”Not too much.”

”Okay!” Noah started to bounce away, holding his hat out to some nearby players.

Rhys glanced at Jeremy then went to follow Noah. ”I'll make sure he stays out of trouble.” He probably had some experience being in a club room with professional players.

Zeke looked at me directly. ”You good?”

I tapped my knee. ”Yea. Just resting.”

Zeke nodded and went to follow the other two.

”You know...it hurts that they have to double check with you before leaving me alone with you.” Jeremy mumbled. ”It's like I can't be trusted.”

I was surprised by his complaint, then shrugged helplessly. ”They're like that with others too. Not just you. And...not just for me. Zeke protects the others too, just not so much verbally.” I thought back to when Kyle was having some problems. ”They're just...protective of one another.”

Jeremy sighed. ”That's good I guess. Doesn't make it hurt any less though. I feel like a failure as a big brother.”

”You're not a failure.” I hurried to say. ”You...came to your senses.” I flashed him a small smile. ”You're trying now. Better late than never.”

Jeremy seemed to be comforted by those words. He grabbed another nearby chair so he could sit down and be eye level with me. ”I don't think my guilt will ever go away. I feel paranoid with every look that the Atkins give me. Or anytime they're checking on you. Like I can't be trusted alone with you. I don't want to be treated like...our birth mom.” He grimaced. ”I would never hurt you like that.”

Jeremy could be intimidating sometimes, but he had never raised a hand to hurt me. His 'crime' would be ignoring me, but things are different now. ”I think you should come to a session with me and Dr. Moore.”

He was taken aback. ”The psychologist?? I'm fine!”

This wasn't the first time Jeremy showed extreme aversion to seeing a therapist. I don't know what it is that makes him uncomfortable, but- ”Not for you. For me. He can help you see that it's me. I'm the problem. I have a lot of issues. Trust. Claustrophobia. Pain. Violence. When I first started seeing Dr. Moore...I didn't even talk.” I gulped. ”They called it selective mutism. From my trauma.” I glanced at Zeke and Noah. ”When I first came to the Atkins, I hardly spoke. For over a month. Two months. They know how insecure I am.”

Jeremy sighed. ”Are you sure this isn't going to make my guilt worse?”

I blinked. ”I always feel better after seeing Dr. Moore.” There's never been a time where he hurt me. I would rank him in the top five adults I knew. Right after Dad and Mom.

”I have Thursday off next week.” He told me. ”We can do lunch or dinner. With the Atkins too.”

I smiled. ”Okay. I'll tell them.”

He glanced down at my leg. ”Maybe I can you back with me Thursday night. Then Friday take you to see the doctor. You can hang out with me for a day and come to the game Friday night.” He started to make plans for next week.

I gulped. Stay the night? With him? Stay calm.