76 Eavesdropping (2/2)

”Mary, I was a mess. A total wreck. Even if someone tried to be there for me, I wouldn't let them in. I had to hit rock bottom before I sought out any help. That's when I met Gary. He's told you some stories but not nearly enough. I'm scared that we'll let Jake down.”

Noah looked at me. I looked down at my feet, finally realizing that they were talking about me. Apparently Mr. Atkins experienced something similar.

”You won't. Wayne, you've been a perfect friend, husband, and father, so don't you dare revert due to a simple insecurity. Don't you remember when I got pregnant with Zeke? You were scared you weren't going to be a great father. Scared that you might fail. Everyone goes through that. It's the same thing with Jake. I'm scared too. And Jake has to be the most scared out of all of us.”

Mr. Atkins let out a short laugh. ”You act so fearless. You were ready to take him in at the first email. I don't know how your heart can be so open all the time.”

”You're right to call it an act. I'm scared too. Jake has mom issues, but I'm a mom and I can't stop being one. You saw how happy I was to hear him speak. He's reaching out. So we can do the same.” We heard her sigh. ”You can always call Gary again. Get advice from him. He helped you and now you can pass it on and help Jake.”

”I should give him a call. We haven't spoken since Christmas so it's been a couple of months. Do you think I'm weak for needing advice even though I was in a similar situation as Jake?”

”Of course not, darling. You're just on the helping end now. It's a different point of view. I do think that you should keep going to the sessions with Jake though.”

”You're not going to go next week?”

”Jake feels more comfortable around you. Let's not change anything for now. This therapist is still new to him. I wouldn't want him to feel trap with me and some guy he hardly knows.”

Mrs. Atkins was smart. I wouldn't trap myself like that. I would refuse and run away. I nudged Noah and pointed back at the stairs. He got what I was trying to say and we snuck back upstairs. I wasn't thirsty enough to interrupt their talk, especially with Mr. Atkins feeling so conflicted.

I felt lighter knowing that he wasn't upset with me for making him cry. He was just scared that he couldn't help me. And that's okay with me.