Chapter 43. Spilled Milk (2) (2/2)

“You want to talk?”

“Yeah….”

“Just how many more times do I have to tell you? If you want to talk to me, then go to the casino and apply for a ban there! I told you that I'd consider talking to you afterwards.”

“I, I already have.”

Seol Jihu quickly replied. Yoo Seonhwa's brows pricked up.

“What did you say?

“I've already applied for the lifetime ban. I did that in the morning before coming here.”

“…..Hah.”

She let out a long sigh and stared at the sky.

She closed her eyes and even clicked her tongue. It was as if she was dealing with someone beyond saving. Although she didn't say outright “You are lying, aren't you?” Seol Jihu thought that he could still hear those words.

“I'm telling you the truth. Please believe me.”

Yoo Seonhwa bit her lower lip after hearing him plead. She then pulled her phone out and switched it on.

“Hello? Is this Seorak Land counseling office? Ah, hello there. I'm calling you today to ask you for a favor, to ask whether someone is banned from entering your premises. His name is Seol Jihu….”

Seeing her confirm the truth by phoning the casino, he felt something bitter rising up in the back of his throat. Just how much pain and misery did he cause in the past for Yoo Seonhwa and his family to have memorized the casino’s number?

“He's already on the list? Today, he himself…?”

Yoo Seonhwa's hardened expression crumbled a little.

“T, Thank you.”

She ended the call and stared at him with eyes full of distrust.

“You….”

She blinked her eyes quickly and wetted her dry lips.

“….What did you want to talk about?”

Although it was only by a little, her voice sounded less chilly than before.

This was the final chance, one he'd never have again. Seol Jihu worked up his courage.

“I'm sorry!”

He bowed his waist as much as he could. His gaze was immediately filled with the view of the concrete.

“What did you say?”

“I'm really, really sorry.”

His left hand held the envelope with money much, much tighter.

“I… know that… I behaved like a son of a bitch…. But, but still, I… I wanted to ask for your forgiveness….”

“….”

“All those times I lied to you… disappointed you… made you go through hell… hurt you with shit I said… I wanted to… apologize to you…”

As his words stuttered out, the corners of his eyes began to sting. Seol Jihu gritted his teeth and endured.

“I'm sorry….”

He continued to beg for her forgiveness.

He couldn't do one of those moving and simple but concise apologies. No, that'd be more like him insulting her dignity.

The longer she remained quiet and the more he spoke, he felt his throat clam up.

“I used to….”

It was then.

“I used to hope that a day like today would happen.”

Her quiet but heavy voice entered his brain. He focused all of his being and listened.

“Of course, I reflected a lot too. I’m partially to blame for things turning out this way. I shouldn't have given you any money when you asked me for the first time. I should have listened to your mom and your dad back then.”

Seol Jihu forgot what he wanted to say.

“I… I believed that you'd revert back to how you were someday. So I waited for you with that single ray of hope until now. No, wait. Maybe this is me making more excuses.”

He felt like biting his own tongue as her calm, composed voice continued on. He wanted to shout out and say that it was all his fault.

If she was scolding him and pouring out insults like his sister, then perhaps he could've endured and accepted her words. But having heard such a calm, composed voice, he simply didn't know what to do anymore.

Yoo Seonhwa cautiously asked him.

“Those things you said…. Are they all true?”

“….Yes….”

“You really came here to apologize to me?”

Nod, nod.

“Well, then.”

Yoo Seonhwa relaxedly walked to where he was and extended her hand out.

“Then… take this.”

The moment he saw her pushing the wads of note to him, Seol Jihu got to find out what the taste of despair was like.

“S, Seonhwa…”

“Please take it, if you are truly being honest.”

The emotions reflected in her eyes seemed a little complicated, but that was it.

The reason for her to offer this money to him was quite clear: the severing of the final thread of connection they shared.

“If you truly thought like that, then… Rather than words, please show me with your actions.”

Now, the meaning behind her action changed. It was no longer “Take this and disappear from my sight” but now, “Please, don't make my life any harder.”

He realized then; there was a deep emotional chasm existing between them that could never be healed again.

Seol Jihu's neck began trembling as the moment had finally arrived.

He couldn't accept this money.

The moment he did, then it'd be over for good.

No, it was already over.

He knew this, yet he still couldn't easily accept the money.

Yoo Seonhwa let off a soft sigh and in the end, she carefully tucked the money in his pocket.

“Thank you for applying to be banned. I'm sure your parents will be happy to hear that. And Wooseok Oppa and Jinhee too…..”

Yoo Seonhwa quietly lowered her own eyes after watching him stare at the ground all this time.

“I'm… too tired. I'm a little upset, yes, and to be honest, I don't think I can sincerely forgive you in the state that I am in.”

“….”

“However, if you have truly changed back, then…. I want you to press forward, work hard, and live well as if you were trying to show me all the progress you've made. If so, don't you think that one day, we would be able to talk to each other with smiles on our faces?”

….One day.

Yoo Seonhwa had formed a thick bond with the Seol family when she was still a young child. So, it was rather obvious that he would run into her during family reunions and national holidays in the future.

However, he knew, and she knew too – what she said wasn't meant to imply that they could try one more time.

An unknown amount of time went by.

“….You're right.”

Seol Jihu finally forced his head to rise up. His eyes remained fixed to the ground, however.

“Thank you for believing me.”

As ever, Yoo Seonhwa was a kind person. She treated him in a way that was incomparably kinder than when he went to see his family.

It would have been hard for her to believe him after he had lied to her so many times already.

Yet, she believed him once more.

Not only that, by not using any harsh language and telling him stuff in a roundabout way, she was being considerate towards him, too.

Indeed, he was well aware of this, but…

“This 2 million…. I understand. I'll take it. I understand what you're trying to say.”

….But, his heart ached even more than before.

Seol Jihu sniffed in deeply and began fidgeting with his right hand the money she gave him. He still had to give her back what was hers.

“But… at least take this.”

He raised his left arm carrying the envelope with money and opened his left palm.

Then…

“Huh?”

She formed an expression of confusion and looked down at his hand.

“….What?”

Then, her eyes that remained composed until now widened in surprise.

Her mouth opened in a daze. He could immediately tell that she couldn't believe what was happening. She even took a step back in shock.

At this rate, she looked like she'd refuse the money, just like how his siblings did. So, he reached out and grabbed her hand to place the envelope there. Her skin felt so soft. So much so that he never wanted to let go.

“I, I should go.”

However, he could only be satisfied with holding her hand for this short moment. He did his best to force out a smile. Meanwhile, Yoo Seonhwa still looked stunned.

“You, but… how?”

“I won't appear before you again. So, uh….. Take care of yourself.”

Seol Jihu turned around and ran out of the street.

He began running hard as this unbearable emotion filled him up.

“…Ah.”

Everything seemed to happen so fast. Yoo Seonhwa belatedly recovered her wits and instinctively confirmed the contents of the envelope. It was packed full of bills with the images of Shin Saimdang. She gasped out in shock one more time.

“He, he… N, no wait. What….?”

Yoo Seonhwa was deeply mired in confusion for a while before she hurriedly switched her phone on.

“Wooseok Oppa? Yes, yes… By any chance…. He did come? When?”

Her voice continued to grow louder.

“55 million Won?!”

—Yeah. Not only that, he brought back Jinhee’s car and bought her a new laptop.

“But, that doesn't make sense. Where did he get that money from?”

—I don't know. He assured me that he didn't earn it through gambling…

“But….”

—Right. I know. Remember that day when he came to borrow money from you? I called the Seorak Land to confirm and they said the last time he was there, it was Thursday, March 16th. That means he really didn’t get that money through gambling…

“W, what was the date again?”

—March 16th. In any case, he said the money was from an honest source. But, he said he was busy and had to go. I guess he went to see you….

March 16th.

'No, it can't be.'

Yoo Seonhwa was no longer listening to Seol Wooseok's voice.

“N, no, wait. This, it can't be…”

The envelope fell on the ground, and the money spilled out.

However, Yoo Seonhwa didn't even take a second look at that and ran out of the street herself.

“Jihu!”

She looked around her and called out desperately.

“Seol Jihu!”

Unfortunately, Seol Jihu's back could not be seen anymore.