Chapter 167 - Difficult! It’s really difficult! (1/2)

Translator: Lionwwang  Editor: Lionwwang

I begin to tell her past few month’s experience. From I escaped all the way to GZ city, then stowaway from the sea, met Phoenix on the stowaway ship, was treated like a slave, drifted, endured hunger and thirst, and the bad weather. I tell the whole story to her one by one.

I’ve been holding up for too long!

Really too long!

At first, I just speak in a low, slow, even calm tone. But later, my voice begins to speed up and my face becomes gloomy. Then the resentment in my heart, the helplessness, the struggles, all these emotions are all pouring out.

My emotions are also infected by my own tellings. I get excited, angry and sad. When I talk about my killing, my tone becomes obviously cold. I take out my cigarette subconsciously, but thinking that it’s not allowed to smoke on the streets here, I put it back again. Instinctively, I feel a little uncomfortable!

“Jojo, I don’t think I’m myself anymore.” I smile gently, and the smile on my face is sad, but in fact I’m struggling in my heart, “Now for myself, I can kill two people who are totally unrelated to me by knife! This is murder! Do you understand? I really did it! And my heart was calm at that time! When the man struggled under my knife and lay down with twisted convulsions, I didn’t even have any psychological fluctuations in my heart… But when I got back, I vomited for a long time.”

Facing Jojo, facing this one of my best friends, I speak my mind.

“Jojo, I don’t think I’m myself anymore.”

Jojo doesn’t speak. She just looks at me quietly. There’s no expression on her face. When I finish, she is silent for a moment. Suddenly she says to me, “Take off your clothes.”

“What?”

“Take off your clothes and let me check your scars.”

I look at Jojo and I see no doubt in her eyes. I hesitate for a moment and begin to untie my shirt buttons.

My chest, my shoulders and on the arms, those scars have healed for a long time, one by one, seems a little shocking! Jojo squints and stares at me for a minute. She seems to be a little distracted for a while, then she’s slowly stretching out her hand, gently touching a scar on my shoulder…

The doctor said that if the knife was cut a little deeper, a little farther to the left, my arm would be useless. From this point of view, my luck was really good.

Jojo’s eyes seem to be flashing, her fingers touching the scar on my shoulder all the way down, and then turning behind me.

There are bullet holes in my back. Those were all shot by the shotgun at GZ City. Fortunately, it was only a home-made gun. It shot out the iron sands. Otherwise, I would have died at that time.

Jojo has tears in her eyes. She turns her face and quietly wipes away the tears, gives me a quick laugh. She laughs calmly, and then asks me gently: “Little 5, I ask you a question.”

“What?”

“Why didn’t you contact us?”

I think about it and say with a bitter smile: “What’s the use? Am I still me? I’m not the Chen Yang anymore. Not that little 5 anymore! I’m a jerk now, a real murderer!”

Pah!

No signs at all! A slap on my face without mercy! Jojo is raising her hand, staring at me fiercely and says: “I’m fucking slap you to death!”

I’m speechless and looking at her.

“If…” Jojo takes a deep breath, “If I, or Azle, or Wood. If one day, we also encounter such a desperate situation. When we kill or set fire and escape, will you continue to regard us as friends at that time?”

“I will! For sure!”

Jojo looks at me and says, “That’s all right! So, if you dare to repeat what you just said… I’ll slap you again! Do you believe it?!”

I rub my cheek. Fortunately, her hands were merciful. It didn’t really hit hard. I’m just feeling a bit hot on my cheek.

Both of us has stood for a long time, and I’m opening my clothes. The occasional passers-by on both sides can not help but cast curious eyes. I just take Jojo into a side alley.

Then I find a fire escalator next to a three-storey building. The fire escalator goes straight to the top floor, but it is rusty, and the two floors of it are locked up. But it’s nothing for a person like me. I climb up with ease and then pull Jojo to jump up.

The two of us arrive at the rooftop with ease. It’s quiet and dark here. There’s a lot of dust on the ground. I spread my suit on the ground and sit down side by side with Jojo.

As a coastal city, Vancouver has a beautiful night sky. Without the sun-shading dust in the big cities. The sky here is clear.

We sit back to back and look at the sky. We are silent for a long time. Jojo suddenly says: “But why didn’t you connect with DIdi?”

I shiver a little.

DIdi, Didi!

This is almost the softest place in my heart.

“You know, when the news came back that you were dead, we were all very careful not to tell Didi. But this situation without news is even more torturing! The girl began to cry every day, and then she stopped crying, but she never laughed, never again.”

“How… How is she?”

I hear my voice is trembling, and my heart is trembling too.

Instead of answering me directly, Jojo is sighing first. There seems to be a lot of meaning in her sigh.

“Not only Didi, but also your female boss. Nanny.” Jojo says slowly, “Her background is not simple. Basically, she can get the information we get. She must have heard about your death, you know? I heard that she seemed to be crying and fainting, and then she had staied a whole day in the hospital. Then I took Didi back. Now she’s with us. Didi lives in my house now. I don’t want to describe her as she is now. But have you ever seen flowers wither? That’s what she is now! If it’s not still waiting for your news, I’m afraid she won’t be able to make it anymore.”

My heart is aching bitterly again.

“Why didn’t you contact them? At least, you might make a call to tell them you are still alive!”

I’m silent.

This is the roof of the building. There is nobody around. I can finally take out my cigarette and light one with a slightly trembling hand. Just after taking a sip, Jojo takes it from my mouth and put it in her own mouth.

I smile bitterly and light another one for myself again.

My mouth is full of bitter taste. I know it’s not because of tobacco.

Yeah, why didn’t I call Didi, didn’t contact Nanny? Why didn’I even send back a a message of I’m still alive?

Why?

Because.