Chapter 153 - Bloody washing (2) (2/2)

Suddenly, I feel a burst of nausea. Then I’m rushing quickly into the bathroom besides, bumping into a small toilet compartment, squatting down, holding the toilet and spitting out immediately!

I keep vomiting and feel my stomach cramping. I’ve spit out almost all the tea I have drunk this afternoon. My stomach is empty, but still holding the toilet, almost to spit out my own bile!

My face is full of snotty tears. The dirty residues are left on the corners of the mouth. I’m gasping, feeling as if I have been hollowed out, fluttering, weak and soft.

Calming down, I come out, turn on the tap of the pool, and then washing my face with water. Then I begin to wash my hands again! I pick up the soap and have washed my hands for five times, rubbing the skin on my hands red! But I still don’t stop! I even pick up a brush aside and brush hands as hard as I can!

Even though I’ve brushed my hands to bleed, I still feel that there’s an unbearable smell of blood on my hands. The dirty smell makes me almost spit out again.

I look up at the mirror in front. The man inside is livid and watery, and the water are rolling down his hair and cheeks. There is distortion and ferocity in the eyes.

My heart is a bit cold, is this really me? Is this Chen Yang? Is this the Little 5?

I’m struggling to squeeze out a laugh to the mirror. In the mirror, I have a mouth of white teeth which haven’t been smoked by tobacco. But my eyes are twisted.

I killed a man!

I’ve killed a man!

Yes, it’s not the first time I’ve killed someone. In the bloody battle on the streets of GZ City, I’ve already killed people. At sea, I also killed the black man on the stowaway ship.

But those are different from today!

In the bloody battle on the street, I was forced. They wanted to kill me. I had to fight with them! I can only do my best to protect myself! Desperately, killing people, I do not have much regrets in my heart.

At sea, I killed the black man because of hatred! It’s the humiliation they used to treat us like animals, and what they did to Phoenix. I killed that bastard, only felt happy in my heart!

But today is different!

This Sand Snake, I don’t know him at all. I know nothing about this man except his name and age. Even before yesterday, I haven’t even heard of this person. I don’t even know there’s such a person in the world.

I don’t hate him, I don’t know how he is, and I don’t know if he really deserves to die. I kill him just because Papa 8 lets me, because I have to kill him to get a chance!

Without hatred to kill someone who has nothing to do with me for no reason at all. This situation makes me feel that my heart is full of a distorted feeling at the moment.

Before that, there’s no intersection between my life and these two people. But now I appeared and then took two stranger’s lives!

So, who am I now?

Am I still Chen Yang?

Am I still the Little 5?

The skin on my hand is brushed, blood is flowing out, and the pain is stimulating my nerves. But I don’t care. I just focus on contemplating at myself in the mirror!

After a long time, the door is pushed open, and the subordinate of Papa 8, the indifferent middle-aged man, comes in.

“It’s done?”

He takes a look at me. His eyes are staying on my bleeding hands.

“Yes.” I nod.

“Well, Papa 8 wants to see you.”

I’m just about going out with him. He’s suddenly turning around and smiling at me. His smile with a trace of complexity: “Ah, I almost forget to tell you, my name is Tiger. I didn’t tell you before because you’re still an outsider. Now…”

He’s looking into my eyes and saying in a gentle voice: “From now on, you are the own man.”