Chapter 263 - Zero’s Way of Using a Knife (1/2)

Hua Tuo nodded as Zero recited everything correctly from his earlier lecture about the cow's surgery. The mother had been prepared for the operation the previous night and was currently waiting in the makeshift operating stable.

Zero was initially shocked when he was told that the cow would be standing up while they did the surgery. Hua Tuo then explained that animals had different anatomies from humans. The cow's organs were closer to the rear and lying down would only make things more difficult for both the cow and the doctor.

”Remember the needles? You'd have to also stick them in deeper because the cow's skin is thicker than human's. They also have different meridian points so be careful when you're numbing the area,” Hua Tuo warned his student who was looking paler by the second.

The poor apprentice was feeling the last second cold feet and the Sage God sighed. The confidence Zero normally had suddenly disappeared and Hua Tuo wondered what caused the teenager to change. When he was younger, he created chimaeras that massacred villages. The number of lives lost to perfect revival magic was also quite significant. Why was Zero fretting over surgery? It's less complex when compared to healing magic. Didn't the teen have any faith in his medical skills?

”Zero,” Hua Tuo called out to his disciple. The boy was freaking out too much for Hua Tuo to be sure about Zero's performance during the operation. Being mentally and emotionally unstable before and during the surgery will only jeopardise the patient's life.

”Calm down. If you continue to be this nervous, I'm afraid I cannot allow you to assist me during the surgery. Both mother and child will be in danger if you cannot remain calm and react accordingly when the situation calls for it.”

Hearing that, Zero felt a chill enter his heart. That disappointed look on Hua Tuo's face only confirmed his fears. His teacher didn't think his medical skills were good enough. Zero thought about it. Most times, he would get by using healing magic. Today's ban from using any magic at all made Zero feel as if he was asked to walk on a tightrope blindfolded over a valley. His hands shook terribly and Zero tried to hide them under the baggy robe sleeves.

Hua Tuo noticed that his student was being unusually quiet. The teen also had his head bowed, eyes glued onto the ground. If people didn't know better, they would think that Hua Tuo was reprimanding Zero. In fact, Zero looked as if his entire world had shattered when Hua Tuo suggested that he should take a step back if he couldn't pull himself together. The physician only meant well to not rush Zero into something he wasn't ready for. However, judging from Zero's crestfallen expression, the doctor felt that Zero might have taken it the wrong way.

His student wasn't someone who would blame others and lash out to blame everyone when things weren't right. If anything, Zero would take it all upon his small shoulders to be responsible for the wrongs that didn't belong to him. Although the teenager didn't say it aloud, everyone knew that Zero blames himself for all the wrongs in the world, thinking that it was his fault that he previously created things so badly. Still, they couldn't offer any words of consolation because it was, in a way, true.

”Zero...”

The teenager didn't dare look up and hunched his shoulders so that he looked smaller than he usually would appear to be. The severe lack of confidence was something Hua Tuo didn't understand. He thought that his student was making good progress and would be ready for a more hands-on lesson. Apparently, he was wrong.

”Cleo told me about how you were feeling last night. We still have some time before the surgery, would you like to talk to me about it?”

Slowly, the boy lifted his head to meet Hua Tuo with the meekest looking eyes the saint had ever seen. His student had never looked more vulnerable and Hua Tuo was reminded about how young Zero technically was. True, he might be a quick learner and a powerful being. However, his emotional intelligence was similar to a child even if he was growing quickly and had several sets of memories to learn from with a few mindscape buddies. The teen's insecurities played through strongly and the physician knew that he couldn't be harsh on his apprentice this time. He didn't want to break the boy's confidence, he didn't want Zero to fear medicine.

Zero trembled. Cleo had told Hua Tuo about his ridiculous fears. What would his teacher think about him now?

”Zero, doctors are not infallible and neither are Gods. Everyone will make mistakes whether we want to or not. This is not something that can be avoided.”

”But if I fail to make the right diagnosis, lives will be lost.”

Hua Tuo nodded. He wouldn't deny this. ”And if you don't learn, you won't save any at all.”

Zero looked at his teacher. There was a weird silent moment as Zero struggled to understand the price of becoming a doctor. Hua Tuo once told him before they arrived at Half Moon Village that a knife could be used to kill, heal and cook. There were many ways to use a knife and Zero had to decide what he wanted to do with it. Initially, he chose the path of medicine because he wanted to ease other people's pain. Right now, he was reconsidering it. Medicine wasn't the only path to relieving other people's pain, right?

Hua Tuo felt apprehension at the strange look in Zero's eyes. The boy was definitely thinking about something weird.

”Do I have to become a doctor to remove the suffering of others?”

Hua Tuo didn't answer immediately. There were two ways to handle this and right now, lying to Zero would only harm his student in the future. They've made so much progress and this would be the final hurdle before Zero becomes a full-fledged doctor. If he cannot find his resolve to practice medicine, Hua Tuo wouldn't want Zero to continue walking the path of a doctor.

”No.”

The simple answer made Zero's eyes widen. While he knew that there might be other paths for what he wanted, he didn't expect Hua Tuo to answer him so truthfully. The old man was determined to guide Zero and shape him into a brilliant doctor that he can be proud of. Zero knew that his teacher had given so much to make it come true and if he backed out now, Hua Tuo would be severely disappointed. The Sage God could simply tell him that becoming a doctor was the best way to do it instead of giving him an answer that didn't have any merits for what Hua Tuo wanted.

”Why did you choose to become a doctor then? There should be other easier paths, right?”

Zero's question made a sad smile appear on the old man's face. It had been a long time since someone asked him why he chose the painful path of medicine.