Chapter 31 - Volume 4 (1/2)
Chapter 7: Portfolio – translated by Evangeline
“First, let me introduce you to the must-have tools for making a portfolio! Number one is this creature I have here. Small, light and portable, this creature can be used both indoors and outdoors! You can even put it in a parcel, so that it’s convenient to carry around.” Lolidragon nodded toward the thing floating in midair that seemed to be a giant eyeball with bat wings, no matter how you looked at it.
Seeing that everyone was staring blankly at the eyeball/bat hybrid, Lolidragon coughed twice, to regain our attention. “I gave it a name; it’s called a Photocritter. The Photocritter’s biggest features are its ability to take photos, its memory capacity of five hundred photos, and its ability to record up to five hours of video. In addition, if you buy extra memory, you gain even more storage capacity. Another point that needs mentioning is this creature’s digital clarity, which goes up to ten megapixels. Its uses range from taking photos during vacation for souvenirs, to photographing a murder crime scene for evidence! There’s nothing it can’t be used for!” Lastly, Lolidragon added, “Right now, the Photocritter is on sale at all major pet shops! But hurry! There are only five thousand critters in the first batch!
“Next, the second tool, which Jing created, was discovered completely by accident. This is an illusion charm with a 100% quality guarantee! It can portray all kind of illusions, from historical backgrounds to ornamental decorations! It’s a real help when it comes to making portfolios!” Lolidragon said, spluttering saliva as she ranted on. She was clutching a stack of charms.
“Lolidragon, have you been watching the ETTV shopping channel too much lately?” I asked seriously.
“I wouldn’t buy anything from that channel!” she cried, but then blushed and added, “But, as you know, Chanel recently changed seasons, so I went and got a job as ETTV’s anchorwoman to earn a little something and go shopping.”
“…” Everyone was speechless for a while.
I suddenly remembered. “After we finish the portfolio, how are we going to distribute it?”
“I’m going to take it to Second Life’s official publishing office, and get an estimate on the price. After deciding on the print volume, they will probably send it over in a couple of days.” Lolidragon said. “We are planning to sell it in the accessory store.”
What? So now my portfolio is an accessory? What use could it possibly have? Do we distract our enemies with it? I thought helplessly. Suddenly, an idea flitted through my mind. “What about a book store?”
“Open a book store? Is that a good idea?” Lolidragon said, hesitating.
“That’s not a bad idea!” Gui suddenly spoke with excitement. “After publishing books becomes a possibility, there will be lots of players trying to publish their own works, but not many can be like us and put their books on sale in the accessories shop. But, if we open a book shop and allow players to consign their books, the commission we receive would also be a good way to earn money.”
“But will there be any potential customers?” Wicked commented cautiously.
“That will depend on how good the books are. We will have to choose carefully the books to be consigned. After a while, I think some good authors will turn up. Good authors means lots of customers. Actually, most people don’t have time to read while they are awake, but they can read books using the sleeping headset! That would be useful for a lot of people!” Gui said happily.
“And since that will add another unique asset to Infinite City, there will be more people joining!” Fairsky clutched her fists in excitement.
Lolidragon shrugged. “Then let’s do a book store. Since it’s part of the construction department’s job, I’ll leave it to those two leaders to discuss amongst themselves.”
Gui nodded, eyes gleaming. He turned to Fairsky, whose eyes were also gleaming, and they started chattering about the bookstore.
“What I meant was, you can talk later, but now, let’s start making our portfolio!” Lolidragon said with a smile that made everyone’s hair stand on end. But then she said something that made the hair rise even higher. “Okay, then. Take it off.”
“Take it off? Take what off?” I asked dumbly.
Lolidragon’s eyes drifted from my face to my chest. That look… I couldn’t help but grab my collar tightly. Then, her eyes drifted even further down… I grabbed my belt tightly, thinking, Oh my God, Lolidragon, don’t fool around, or else my portfolio might turn into an adult-only sort of thing—
“Can I rest for a bit now?” I asked, still woozy. I never thought that making a portfolio would be so hard. It was a test of strength, endurance, and the ability to survive intense pain.
The Test of Strength: I had to pose in various positions of unimaginable difficulty for Lolidragon to take shots of. Sometimes I had to stay in a pose for up to half an hour. I suspected that Lolidragon was sketching my portrait instead of taking a photo.
The Test of Endurance: Under Lolidragon’s insistence that I expose the two points, I thought, Fine, and agreed reluctantly. Oh well, a guy’s two points aren’t that attractive anyway. But, under the coercion of Wicked’s “Don’t you dare or you are d-e-a-d!” look and Gui’s “Your majesty, you can’t endure such humiliation” large and teary eyes, my move to take off my clothes froze in mid-motion. Then, I watched on as Lolidragon leading Phoenix and Fairsky going against Wicked and Gui. The two gangs started to argue very loudly about whether I should expose the two points or not, forcing me to be stuck in between taking off and putting on my clothes. Really, exactly to whom do the two points belong to anyways?
Finally, I lost my temper. With a dark expression, I roared, “Shut up!”
Five of them turned to glare at me in unison. Together, they said, “You make the decision then!”
With five pairs of eyes staring at me, my anger disappeared completely. I said fearfully, “Then what about…what about going half exposed?”
“Taking off your shirt but not exposing the other point?” Lolidragon muttered, and then said unwillingly, “Fine, that settles it.”
“Never! This one here will still see it!” Wicked gestured towards Gui.
“That’s my line! Prince’s body should never be seen by you!” Gui said furiously, gritting his teeth.
“So, what do we do now?” I asked, scratching my face. This won’t work and that won’t work. Those guys are even more annoying than the girls… I thought. Shhiikkkk… Suddenly, a weird sound reached my ears. It sounded like…sticky tape? We turned around. There was Phoenix, with two pieces of sticky tape. She was looking at my chest…
Afterwards: If anyone ever says that the pain produced from taking sticky tape off an important spot is on par with that of giving birth, I will totally agree!
I turned my back on the site of that ghastly photo shoot, looking at Lolidragon with teary eyes.
“Can I rest now?” I begged.
“You can rest…” Lolidragon replied. My eyes lit up. I can finally tour Infinite City! I can’t wait to find out what delicious specialty foods my city has! I thought, excited.
“…For a brief moment. We are starting rehearsal for the concert tomorrow.”
“Rehearsal for the concert?” I repeated stupidly.
“Yep! Yu Lian is supervising because a lot of money had been spent on the concert,” Lolidragon whispered quietly into my ear.
Waaaaaaaa! This is hell! I thought, close to tears.
“Dàgê, even if we start rehearsing tomorrow and there is no time for you to come out and eat food then, you don’t have to eat like that, do you?” Yun asked. He looked helplessly at me. I hadn’t even spoken a sentence to them before starting my battle with the food.
Seeing that I gave no reaction at all, Jing also said helplessly, “Dàgê, if you want to eat something during rehearsal, just PM us and we’ll send it over.”
Hearing that, I finally set down the chicken leg in my hand, took a drink to wash the food down and said with a little embarrassment, “Thanks.”
“Slow down. No one’s trying to take the food from you.” Wicked grumbled, not too happy.
“Your Majesty, would you like another order of french fries?” Gui happily passed me a napkin to wipe my hands, and Phoenix wiped my mouth with a handkerchief, while Jing and Yun looked on enviously.
“Hey, where is Fairsky?” Yun suddenly asked, confused.
“And Sunshine?” Jing added.
“Oh, they went on a stroll.” I said, waving the subject aside. But I wonder why Kenshin didn’t go…Don’t harbor any suspicions — this guy never leaves my side, it’s just that he’s too quiet. (Even this author didn’t know how to tell everyone that he actually was still there. You can’t just always say that he’s sitting there icily with a poker face, can you?)
“Wow! That’s rare. Fairsky actually bears to leave your side.” Jing said, astonished.
“She said that she was going to check out the location of our bookstore.” I said vaguely as I couldn’t help stuffing myself with the fries Gui had just ordered for me.
“Book store? What book store?” Yun asked dumbly.
“Infinite Bookstore, the one we’re setting up soon; the first book store in Second Life,” Gui told them with sparkling eyes. Geez, no wonder he’s a professor.Start talking about books and he goes crazy, I thought as I ate the fries.