-8 Chapter Ten (1/2)

+++ Nyx +++

”Nyx, Amor didn't mean all of that,” Yna lied as she walked over and sat in front of me, not caring the grass is wet or that she'll get dirty.

”We both know she clearly did.”

”Ok she did but she's wrong, it's not your fault and you did the right thing leaving the group.”

”It is, I knew my dad has a talent for taking out his anger on others but I didn't care at that time, all cared about was leaving the group.”

”It seems you didn't have an easy life either, I know you don't like talking about it but it will really help.”

”My mum died a day after I was born and that changed everything. My dad turned dark, gathered a few people and created the group. Over the years, more people who agreed with them joined. My dad was depressed and angry. I was raised by the group and I have had to train everyday, morning till night only stopping to eat, since I could walk. Because education was important to my dad, I studied all day during the weekend, the time we got off. I was told lots of scary stories about you and your family. I was pretty much ignored by my father, the only people that paid attention to me was the members of the group. He didn't care about it, all he cared about was you which I found strange since he my dad. Anytime I ask questions about why how lives was the way it was I was ignored, ” I ranted, half shocked I was telling her everything. But it felt so right. She said nothing, she just stared into my eyes and absorbed, each word, each sigh. She gave me something I never knew I wanted.

”The more his plans failed the more ruthless my dad got. It got to a point he started taking out all his anger on me. He would ignore me before each attack and anytime I tried to talk to him he will tell me I was getting in the way of everything. After the attacks, he will come home furious and he take out his anger on me and pretty much blame me for his failures. I cried myself to sleep every night until I came here of course, I am happy here. I was often beaten and insulted by my dad, the other members felt sorry for me but couldn't do anything about it. I wasn't allowed to go to any of the attacks until the day I killed your cousin. I hated you because it was all your fault. I was excited that day because I would finally prove to my dad that I deserved his love and respect. I was determined to do anything if it meant I get the life I've always wanted and a happy relationship with my dad. All my life I felt I was an unwanted burden, I didn't want to live and the only thing that kept me alive was the thought of you dying.”

Telling her didn't feel as bad as I have been imagine this past few days. I felt so much better than I thought I will. It was somewhat comforting. With her I felt the comfort I had always craved. I was aware of my growing interests and what it meant to everything. I was aware none were replicated by her. Like she said earlier she just feels grateful. That's all.

”Do you still hate me?” she asked hurt in her eyes.

Maybe, I shouldn't have told her the only thing that kept me alive was seeing her dead. I think that was a bit too far.

”No not anymore, I stopped hating you the second I saw you, you looked so innocent. You looked like you being forced to live like this just like I was. We didn't choose our lives, our lives chose us.”

”I can't believe you were treated that way,” she said and pulled me into a tight hug. She's just sympathetic, she probably feels it is then least she could after you saved her, I repeated to myself.

Her scent of raspberries and lavender filled my nostrils. It comforted me, making me reluctant to let her go.

”Your hair smells like raspberries. Its making me hungry,” I joked as I pushed her away.

”You should never feel like an unwanted burden because you're not. You are important just like everyone else and you are perfect the way you are. Also, I will make sure no one ever hurts you again. I promise.” Her words warmed my heart. Before I realised how wrong it was, I placed her on my lap, brought my face closer to hers, my eyes laid on her lips.

”We shouldn't do this but I don't care,” I whispered to her and with that I closed the gap between us. Her lips were soft and sweet. She was tensed at first, but then she kissed back. Her hands encircled my neck and I wrapped my hands around her waist.

The heat slithered across my skin, and filled every corner of my mind. Fireflies exploded in my stomach making me quiver with desire. I knew I had to break the kiss. I was perfectly aware of how wrong it was. But it felt so right, like all my life had been leading to this moment so instead I deepened it.

Time stopped. My heartbeats sped up and blood rushed through my veins. I placed my hand on her chest and felt it pound beneath my fingers. Lust spread across my body.

This was wrong. We shouldn't do this. She doesn't want this. Her uncle will freak if he saw this?

”You taste like strawberries and you haven't eaten any strawberries, how do you do that?” I said stupidly breaking it off. I cursed under my breath and avoided her gaze. I couldn't believe I just had the kiss of the lifetime and the first thing you ask is how she taste like strawberries. But even more I couldn't believe I just did. I couldn't believe I was so stupid to risk everything like that. I didn't understand why she would want any of this, why I would want any of this. I pulled away and walked inside before she had a chance to talk.

***

”Nyx, it has come to my notice that I went a little too far,” Amor said.

”A little?”

”Don't push it, I'm trying my best here.”

”You know what, I don't want your meaningless apology. I know the only reason you are apologising is because of her so don't fake it if you can't mean it,” I snapped.

”Enough about that we have better things to do. Yna from now on you will be taught all your lessons by Amor since she knows more than we do.”

”Shall we start now, your highness?”

”Of course, ” Yna beamed. I was right she never wanted that. She can't even wait to get away from me. I felt my blood boiled but then she turned round and waved and I felt the brewing storm in me calmed. I broke into the most embarrassing smile and blushed profusely.

”And Yna you are to stop spending time with that thing, ” her uncle ordered.

I have a name, how would you like me calling you thing and making you feel worthless.

Exactly like my dad does.

”He has a name, its Nyx and you can't tell me who I should hang out with,” she replied. Her words warmed my heart, my face grew hot. I turned away and made a mission to avoid everyone's gaze.

”I'm your uncle-”

”And I'm a princess.”

”Eduardo let her spend time with whoever she wants, ” her grandmother said and shot me a smile.

Does she know? Could she tell? I thought, worried that everyone was aware of what had happen. I felt my face burn.

”But ma-”