81 Catharsis (1/2)

Gin POV-

*Knock

*Knock

”Ravel?” Gin

I knock on the door lightly. Her mumblings stop and I hear movement. When the door opens, i see a horrible sight. A disheveled Ravel is sobbing. Her ruby hair is faded and matted. Her golden eyes are puffy from crying. She is wrapped in a bunch of blankets that she dragged off from her bed. It seems that she has been clawing her face in agony. Bleeding claw marks stretch across her cheeks.

Inival who has been with me backs up a bit to let me talk to her.... What do I say? I'm no expert in 'love'. My only example of love being a unrequited one. I guess I do love Kess, Set, and the rest but that is different as well..... Familial? Not quite.

Ravel collapses into her bundle of blankets and starts breaking down.

”What good is my figure! What good is my feelings! My love.... They are all useless! If I never converted, would Wetho still be here for me? No.... She was never here for me.... What.... Is the point anymore. I have no point.” Ravel

I see her mind going into a dangerous territory. Suicide.... A very familar thing to me. Before I had jumped off that bridge all those months ago, I had attempted it many times. I always backed out at the last moment. The death of my mother was the last straw. I had only lived for other people so with her gone, it became an 'easy' matter for me. For at that time, I had no point. I had no desire to find a new point for my life. I kneel down and try to snap her out of it.

A weird feeling overtakes me, I grab Ravel's head and look into her eyes.

Ravel POV-

Why. Why do I exist. Without Wetho. Gin? No, although I like him, I can see from his fluctuating loyalty that he is not too keen on my existence. I am a 'filthy' creature. Gin is not too fond of drow and even elves that have been converted. Wetho was my pillar. My love. My point that ties me here.

*Knock

*Knock

”Ravel?” Gin

Gin? Why is he here? Did I ask for him to be brought here? I can't remember..... I drag my blankets that are wrapped around me and open the door. I open it to see Gin and Inival. A bewildered look takes over them. Inival nods after looking at Gin and walks a bit away. Gin just stands there. He is probably looking for something to say.

My thoughts go into choas. Why? Why? Why?Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?Why? Why? Why? Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy!?!?!?!??!

I reach a breaking point and let out.

”What good is my figure! What good is my feelings! My love.... They are all useless! If I never converted, would Wetho still be here for me? No.... She was never here for me.... What.... Is the point anymore. I have no point.” Ravel

”I'll tell you a little story. There was once a hopeless guy. Hopeless with love. Hopeless with finding his own happiness. Hopeless with even his own family. Everything became more and more grey. Everything became pointless. Emotions were pointless. Wisps of hope were just illusionary. More and more things became pointless as he went on. Eventually, an important person to him passed. Years later, another. Why continue? He had nothing to hold onto. He had no desire to find anything to hold onto. he killed himself. He died under a bridge, slowly, in agony. Alone in death as he was in life. In the end, he was nothing.” Gin

I continue to look into his eyes. They are very eerie but, I can't help but find myself lost in them. His words confuse me. I want to argue but, find myself unable to.

”You 'will' not find yourself like that hopeless guy. For your life still has meaning and true potential. One of your holds is gone.... You can carry on..... You have accomplished things unimaginable for others during your reign. You will end this 'drow curse' on your people. You will find new meaning, a new hold.” Gin

I don't like his words. They make it sound as if that man had no other paths to follow..... At the same time, his words.... They assure me, somehow. That I will be able.... To carry on....

”However, you must get closure with Wetho.” Gin

I know that. Wetho is dying. If I don't meet her soon.... I'll forever regret this. I try to pull my tears back up and harden myself. I drop my blankets and walk out of the room. One of my royal guards is standing there with Inival.

”L-lady Ravel. Do you want to go to the dungeon?” Royal Guard

”.....Yes.” Ravel Umbra

Time just seems to go faster as we move towards the dungeon. Several royal guard are standing in front of her cell in heavy armor. They bow and let us in. Wetho is.....

”So, you actually came to see me before I die. I didn't expect that. I want to die alone. Leave.” Wetho