210 the joker (1/2)

After I saw the bodies I was in shock and pain

Why the hell is this happening?

Why is this happening to me?

Damn it

Damn it

I put my hand on my head and started crying

I felt like I was a big fool

Is it because of my stupid decision?

All of these people are dead Because of me

If I hadn't left, I could have saved them Or would I die with them?

I don't know what was gonna happen

Fuck everything. Fuck my ideas

My tears were not stopping

I felt like I'm being strangled from the inside I felt so much sadness

Of the 50 people that landed on this damn island

Only four people are left.

46 people died in a moment and disappeared of the face of the world and I was alone with three other people

all the people who entered this island and joined the heroes facility

They just came here because they believed in me and I really let everyone down

How stupid and reckless I was.

I realized how high the sky is

I'm just a bug in this miserable world.

Everybody stood  there Looking at the bodies

I stood on my feet with great difficulty then started moving towards the camp

I held a piece of wood as I'm looking at the eyes of the dead bodies

And I started digging

My hand was shaking as I was digging

I feel like I can't even keep standing on my feet

My tears never stopped going down

It didn't stop and it never wanted to stop

I started digging graves for each one of the bodies then I put the bodies inside

I felt that every body of them was looking at me

I lifted the body alone and put it in the grave, their bodies were heavy and they smelled of blood

Their eyes were scared

My hand was shaking so much as I was carrying them

But they have the right to be buried

After a while Rami joined me after he got out of the shock he was in

He started digging with me and carrying the bodies

The girls were sitting at a distance crying and watching what was happening

Would that be our fate if we continued staying on this island?

Rami was moving around, lifting the bodys on his shoulder and burying them

We kept going until Rami and I buried the last body

I felt a great regret in my heart

Until I got to the point that I felt I was gonna burn from the inside

Like fire was going to come out of my heart and burn all my inner organs

Really fuck this world

I put my hand on my head and I look at the graves in front of me

All this graves

For some We couldn't even collect all their body parts

And I think we've misplaced some body parts by mistake

But we must continue on this island

We've killed so many monsters from that moment

I even was able to kill a level B monster by myself

I was so angry as the anger was burning my heart

I felt like I had to end everything in this world