Chapter 26 (1/2)

Chapter 26

「You’ve returned, your Ladyship?」

“Selene.”

Selene, who had been nervously standing in the field of reeds, greeted me. She’d exited the lake area with me on the path that the beavers had drilled for us, and had been waiting for my return while guarding Haniel.

「You didn’t come out for such a long time, I thought you’d already been cut open with a sword.」

“…The way you say things, seriously.”

Maybe because she was an animal, she didn’t have the slightest speck of loyalty or consciousness for me at times.

Well, what did I expect? These were times when one lived day-to-day just trying to survive.

And I didn’t have the heart to scold her, as all of my concerns were directed towards the basket that lay next to her.

“What about the baby? She didn’t cry from feeling trapped or anything?

「You know she’s not a kid who’d complain. No matter how much I try to talk to her, she won’t even say one word in reply. 」

“…”

As soon as I opened the reed-woven basket, the tip of my nose soured.

My throat closed up as I looked at Haniel, who had fallen asleep while I was gone.

“…Selene, you can go back for now.”

「But, Your Ladyship, will you really be alright on your own?」

“Don’t pretend as if you’ve ever sincerely wanted to help. If not for the fish jerky, you would pretend you couldn’t even hear me.”

「My! How could you say such things…」

I chased Selene away with the harsh words I’d said on purpose.

After seeing her grumbling figure disappear, I carefully stretched out my arms.

“…Eum.”

I couldn’t help but hold her. Or else I might really break out in tears.

I gripped Haniel close to me and forced my pounding chest to settle down.

I’d practiced saying goodbye so many times, but with the child in my arms now, it was hard to stay calm.

Fluffy feathers and a black beak. And the cutest tail.

“…Child.”

My nose kept tingling as I tried to tell her that she was going back to her home.

I strained my eyes to stop the tears and brushed Haniel’s head with a finger.

“Ugh.”

Why is it so soft! How is she going to survive in the rough world with this kind of a small body!

As I kept swallowing my saliva and holding back my tears, I took out a ribbon that I’d been holding onto. It was the only red fabric that I could find in the duchess’s closet filled with black and more black clothes.

“…”

I’m sorry. That I can only give this to you.

I lifted her small head and wrapped the ribbon around her white feathers. As soon as I tied the ribbon into a bow behind her head, I was glad I hadn’t fastened it on her earlier.

“Let’s see, our little princess.”

Why is she so pretty.

The red ribbon glistened over her clean, white feathers, and I almost forgot how to breathe.

If I had seen this earlier, I wouldn’t have been able to let you go this easily.

Ignoring my blurred vision, I lifted up Haniel again.

“Ah…”

Her fluffy feathers brushed against my cheek. I held her tightly as my last greedy wish, but this was it, no more.

When the emperor returns and Haniel opens her eyes and sees him, there’d be no turning back.

No, since the time I’d called the tyrant over here, I’d already made my decision.

Even though Haniel is in a pitiful situation.

Even though she’s the cutest baby swan in the world, and even though she follows after me calling “Mommy Mommy,” fulfilling my one and only wish to have a child, I could no longer be this child’s mother…

“Ch-child?”

「…」

As I lowered my head again, all thoughts in my mind stopped.

When had she woken up?

Haniel lifted her head and I made eye contact with her red eyes, but that wasn’t the problem.

“Wh-what are you doing?”

*Lick.*

Haniel’s pink tongue swept my fingers.

And not just my fingers.

It was right at the place that had gotten injured when I’d fallen onto the wooden floor because Lania pushed me.

“…Haniel.”

I knew better than anyone not to open my heart to anyone but even though I knew this, I had to ask.

Haniel had desperately started licking my wound as soon as she’d woken up.

“Child, what are you doing.”

「…Mwommy, pain, pain go away. The tweacher said to do thish like thish if it hurts. 」

*Sob*

I give up.

In the end, the tears I’d tried to hold back came streaming down.

I hugged her white body and buried my head in my hands as I sank to the ground.

“Heu-eu-euk. Mommy was wrong, boohoo. “

「Mommwy hurt? Dwoes it hwurt? Even if I do thish it still hwurts?」

“Mm, no, it doesn’t hurt. I won’t throw you away, my little baby. Mommy will be good to you. I won’t do that ever again.”