1130 You’re Forcing Me Aren’t You! (1/2)
Gu Qingcheng's hands trembled even more greatly now. He felt like his heart was stuffed into a meat grinder, ground so badly that nothing was left now.
”So, Uncle Qingcheng, actually, staying alive isn't the best. People say that peaceful death is inferior to barely existing. But, I feel that living in loneliness is inferior to… being able to reunite with family after I die! You don't have to feel like you need to protect me or anything just because you promised my dad that you would take care of me. I've already grown up, and I know what choice to make for my own good and my own happiness! I'm not cowardly. This is the conclusion I came to after careful thought!”
Yun Liuli spoke logically, sounding like an older adult who was tired of living and ready for death.
Gu Qingcheng's lips moved, wanting to say something, but ultimately, he merely pursed his lips and gritted his teeth.
He knew that Yun Liuli was forcing him. He clearly knew… but his heart was still a jumbled mess.
”Uncle Qingcheng…”
”Shut up!” The veins on Gu Qingcheng's temples were popping.
”Uncle Qingcheng…”
”Yun Liuli, I asked you to shut up!” Gu Qingcheng tugged at Yun Liuli's wrist, looking furious for the first time.
”Uncle Qingcheng, you used to say that you hoped I'd stay further away from you. Isn't the distance between life and death far enough away? Any further… I wouldn't know where to go!” Yun Liuli smiled at Gu Qingcheng, her nostrils flaring slightly, tears constantly flooding down her cheeks.
Gu Qingcheng slightly loosened his grip on Yun Liuli's slender wrist. He was currently overwhelmed with emotions… He was unwilling to make a decision, but his body was no longer under the control of his rational senses. He pulled Yun Liuli into his embrace.
His eyes were red and watery, and his breathing was heavy.
His heart had never felt so much pain before.
Not hearing any movement from Gu Qingcheng for some time, Yun Liuli pressed a hand against Gu Qingcheng's abs, wanting to push him away. ”Uncle Qingcheng, you'd better… let go of me!”
This was the last thing Yun Liuli could do for their relationship. This time… Yun Liuli had to take him down in one strike.
”It's not like you can hug me like this forever. Hugging me like this while clearly knowing about my feelings towards you… will only make me more greedy, make me reluctant to part with this world.”
”Yun Liuli, you're forcing me, aren't you!” Gu Qingcheng hugged Yun Liuli tightly. ”Using your life to force me…”
Yun Liuli's throat vibrated. Still, she answered, ”Mm…”
When she made up her mind to cut off all means of retreat, she hadn't expected that all her little tricks would go unnoticed.
But when Yun Liuli said these words, she wasn't lying.
It was just that Yun Liuli was inept at expressing her emotions to others. In the dead of night, when negative emotions severely affect her mind, thoughts of killing herself repeated themselves in her head over and over again.
There were even several times when she placed a knife over her wrist.
Yun Liuli knew where the artery was. She also knew from TV dramas that if one slashed their wrist horizontally and was discovered, they'd be saved. So, every time she placed the knife over her wrist, she planned to make a vertical slash.
It wasn't that Yun Liuli didn't have the courage to die, but every time she thought about Gu Qingcheng, about how he would wallow in self-reproach or grief after her death, she couldn't bear to do it.
Even if she couldn't obtain the man she loved, Yun Liuli had never thought of getting revenge on Gu Qingcheng, much less using her death to take revenge against him. She was simply too lonely.
”If I wasn't forced into a dead-end by love, why would I force you?” Yun Liuli's voice was low.
Gu Qingcheng said nothing, merely hugging Yun Liuli tightly.