Chapter 107 - These Bitches Crazy (1/2)
”Back so soon?” Mary raised a brow. She sat atop the bed with her legs dangling neatly off the side.
”I decided to let them go.”
”My, how generous of you.” She quipped lightly. ”I remember how kill-happy you used to be back in the Dry Lands. Are you perhaps going soft?”
”If I am it's definitely because I've got two cute trees keeping me in check now.” I looked at the destruction caused by my mother's earlier rampage. ”This is just painful to look at.” I sighed.
The woman dipped her head. ”I'm sorry.”
”It's not your fault.” I shrugged.
”How is it not?”
”I mean I had a hand in it too. And Mother's crazy. Woman needs a good smack sometimes.” Sadly he wasn't strong enough to give her one right now and his dad seemed unwilling to really let loose on that ass. He knows her weakness and doesn't even use it. Smh.
”Anyway,” I continued, ”Shall we get started?”
For just a moment, the corner of her lips quirked into what approximated a smile. ”I really do indulge you too much.”
”And I'm ever grateful for it.” I replied.
We came here to be loud, and we were.
***
Now, I was raring to go finish up my business with finding out what was going on with my Kindom and Alex, but I decided I could take a detour a little to check out the Dwarves' hometown. So after several hours of coitus and sleep, we were back in the great forest. By then it was already morning and everyone was looking for us, only for us to pop in through the trees as if nothing had happened. Even though I knew from Mother and Rhea's looks that they'd smelled something.
”I can't believe you'd choose to copulate with this weed over me.” Rhea sized Mary up. ”Even if you are my husband, you should choose your concubines more carefully. I could have found a good Fae woman for us to enjoy. Instead you're here hugging moss-covered trees.”
She sounded surprisingly clear-headed, eh?
”Lady, I don't even know you and we haven't talked much since you first showed up in this story. I don't know why you're acting like me being your husband is a foregone thing. I liked you better when you were just Chef Milf. Now you're here insulting the cute tree I'm carefully cultivating like I wouldn't throw you over my knee and spank you like a petulant child.” I narrowed my eyes at the woman.
”Pfft!” Mother snickered. ”Well said, son!” She gave me a thumbs up.
”You guys think he's joking.” Bubbles snorted.
”He's my son. I know he isn't. That's what's so great about it! Go ahead, m'boy! Mommy here will help you put the bitch in her place!”
”You're lucky you're my mother-in-law. I'd have killed you for that comment.” The woman in question said indifferently. ”As for my husband, if he wishes to put me over his knee we can save that for the bedroom.”
”Mother-in-law!” Mother gnashed her teeth. ��You think you get to call me that?! And as if you could kill me. If you were capable, you'd have done it by now!”
”Shall we have a match and test it?”
”Hmph. So rude to a woman you just called mother.”
”If a tiger doesn't show it's claws people will think it a kitten.”
Vera took that moment to chime in. ”A tiger is just an overgrown p.u.s.s.y anyway. And no one likes those.”
The Fae Queen locked gazes with the younger woman immediately. ”And who are you, little twig?”
Vera shrugged and jerked a thumb towards me. ”I'm that guy's manager.”
”...What?” That one was me. Since when was she my manager? Wait, well, Bridget did say something to that effect once I think….
”It's bold of you to think you can have any sort of relationship with him without my approval.”
”Watch your tongue, girl. I may restrain myself for my husband's sake--”
”Again, I barely know you, so where do you get off acting so--?”
”--but I have limits to my patience.”
”As do we.” Vera calmly informed. ”Isn't that right, mother?”
Mary hesitated. ”Well…”
”I said--”
”Yes, I know.” Mary interrupted. ”But I'm not sure I have a right to speak in this matter myself.”
”You're my lover. Of course you do.”
”By Vera's grace, yes.”
”I mean, I told you I wouldn't stop seeing your regardless of that.”
”Do you think I'd have accepted that if she didn't allow this?”
”What other people allow or not have nothing to do with this. I'm my own person. I'm glad she didn't raise a fuss over it, and I do care about her opinion, but if you choose to f.u.c.k your fiance's mother its a bit late to be worried about how she'd react. I already said, I won't let either of you go for anything. Ever.”
”What an unreasonable guy.” The mother and daughter pair said as one, shaking their heads in a perfect mimicry of each other.
”Completely selfish.”
”Indeed.”
The way they radiated a sort of unseen happiness was an indication of their satisfaction with his words.
”It'd be nice if a bit of that unreasonable selfishness was directed towards his real wife.” Bubbles observed mildly with folded arms. Her sister nodded silently, giving her quiet support.
”My real fake wife?” I asked.
”Again, it's legally binding.”
I sighed. ”Honestly, just give up. You're being--”
”You don't have the right to call me any variation of the word stubborn.” She cut me off sharply. And f.u.c.k me if she wasn't right!
”Alright, fine, do what you want.” This. God. Damned. Harem. It's exhausting. Just dealing with all the women who wanna jump my bones is tiring. Was it always this bad? Really? I'm not sure.
”Thanks, I didn't need your permission, but thanks.”
Vera looked her up and down. ”By the way, didn't you mention you were of Royal blood?”
”...Yes, why?”
The girl considered for a moment before shaking her head once more. ”No, never mind. I really don't like you.”
”Say what?” Bubbles turned frosty. ”You mind reiterating that?”
”No.”
”You really are one arrogant--”
”Okay!” I spoke up. ”Enough bickering.” I nipped it in the bud before it could escalate.
”My son's ability to collect women really is something else.” Mother rubbed her chin. ”So many high-class ”treasures” are gathered here for him.”
”Father is, as expected, a popular man.” Mira sat on the chair I'd made her the other day and patted her belly. ”Your grandpa is quite sinful, little one. You really must've learn from his example!”
”See? See? The Young Master has always been quite vile. Just no-good sc.u.m! I don't see what you two like in him. ” Bazette said morosely.
”Be careful or you'll find out exactly why we do.” Vera teased.
”Bah. He's only good at cooking.”
Mary also joined in the fun. ”I'd watch your words, daughter. Remember, you're a girl now and the Young Master can be quite odd in his punishments. Take care that he doesn't decide to stuff you like those pies you so like.”
The color drained from her face.
”We may end up sister-wives in the future, even.” Vera went on sadistically.
”Now wouldn't that be something. Should I just teach you how he likes to be touched now, then?” Her mother asked.
”S-Stop it…”
”You know, he likes when you lick his earlobe.”
”I don't care!”
”There's also the fact that he enjoys when you wrap his little Damien in your b.r.e.a.s.ts...though, that may be too soon for you.”
”Mother...why…” Baz got a haunted look in his eyes as he gazed at the woman who'd given birth to him talk so lewdly about his former best friend.
”He gets really excited if you bite his lip.” Vera supplied.
”I...I...You guys...knock it off! I hate you!” The tears slid down Baz's cheeks in a steady stream. ”I don't need to know any of this!”
”Oh, I don't know about that.” I chuckled. ”You're so pretty now, Baz. You know, maybe this is a good thing, you being a girl. I can show you all the ways a woman can feel good. Did you know that their orgasms can last up to two minutes? Their bodies are so sensitive. I should really let you experience it, wouldn't you agree? My little cookie s.l.u.t.”
”No! S-Stay away!”
And she vanished.
Everyone watched on with raised brows.
Mary blinked. ”Well. That was fun.” She determined.
” Very.” Her other daughter agreed.
”This should be our thing. Teasing Baz.”
”I'd like that.”
”Seems a bit mean though.” I was almost a bit sorry.
”You have your small pleasures, we have ours.”
”You guys really are mother and daughter.” I tsked.
”Isn't that part of our charm?��� I was playfully poked in the stomach from both sides
I coughed.
”This is pissing me off.” Mother had her arms on her h.i.p.s.
”Seconded.” Rhea monotoned.
”Agreed.” Bubbles tapped her foot on the ground. I saw her holding a small notepad, quickly hidden upon noticing my discovering.
”Um, it's slightly uncomfortable to watch.” Minerva, who'd been silent all the while, finally spoke up. ”S-Sorry, Master.” She winced and apologized.
I was about to ask why she felt the need to say sorry to me, but then Evie cut in.
”Wait. I don't get it. Is everyone here trying to be Master's body pillow too?”
Me, Mary, Mother and Bubbles looked at her oddly.
”My what?”
”Pardon?”
”My son's what now?”
”Is that another thing he likes? He did like to cuddle, if I remember right…”
”Oh...you really took that to heart, didn't you?” Vera was the only one who seemed to understand.
���Evie! I-I told you not to talk about that in public! People will misunderstand!”
The girl didn't listen. She, still donning her signature mummy-bandages, stepped forward boldly. ”It's no use. I'm the one who'll be Master's best, warmest, most comfortable body pillow!” She declared.
”Hm. I see.” Mother realized something. ”No, dearie, don't worry. Your position there is safe. They're fighting over something else. You just continue working hard for my son. Perhaps you'd like me to help you. I happen to know all sorts of techniques for comforting--
I bonked her on the head. ”No.”
”Heh.” Rhea let out a small laugh.
”Mother. That's not funny.” Mira scolded.
”Is it not?”
”It's not.”
”Agree to disagree.”
Mother seemed stunned by my treatment, though I don't know why. ”I want to get some stuff done so let's stop all the nonsense. Come on.”