Chapter 64 The Mysterious Futa (1/2)

”I'm here to sign up with the guild.”

We entered the stereotypical large, tavern/inn-looking guild HQ where drunk adventurers were conversing amongst themselves heartily.

The eye candy of a handsome man and pretty woman was, of course, present. We talked to the woman who was just closer.

And by we, Damien meant him, Big D, Milly, and Baz. Also the Mandate of Heaven. How? Apparently, the fucking thing floats. Milly told him all about it, though she didn't--or rather couldn't--recall how she knew about it.

….Aw yeah, boys and girls. With a cushioned seat, Day was riding on a floating golden throne throughout the city like a young Deity descended from heaven. With Milly standing on an armrest and leaning on the throne, and Baz carrying Big D with somewhat of a struggle, and Damien's transcendent charisma, there were people everywhere pointing and talking about him.

Total boss status right there.

He caused quite a ruckus as he paraded through the streets. Some people were stunned into silence. Others prayed to themselves. Which caused angel wings to sprout from his back and make him all the awe-inspiring.

Damien was growing a fondness for the attention. He even circled around several times just to see the people's reverent gazes. The women reached for him while the men knelt down in devotion.

”A Divine has descended upon the world….” They whispered to themselves.

”What a mesmerizing aura…”

”That sword looks a bit wicked though.”

The Dao of Lord Bai was slowly being awakened in Damien's heart as he basked in their attentive stares.

Anyway, he had to widen the entrance to the guild and the drunken festivities stopped as soon as he arrived so they weren't all too chatty anymore….but yeah. He and Baz approached the pretty bob-haired woman with indifference and just up and said, ”We're here to sign up.”

The poor girl was shocked into silence. Her heart felt like it was stolen right from her chest. This...this….what sort of being had come to their little city? Which family's young Great One had deigned to descend upon them? No, surely this youth was some reborn Divine.

But if he was truly a holy being, why did his mere presence inspire such sinful thoughts in her heart?!

Neither she nor Damien realized the faint Asmodian blood from his mother's side was being roused due to his maturing body.

”Lady, are we gonna do this or what?” Damien yawned.

The ambiguous words made the receptionist think all kinds of thoughts. But she shook her head and stammered, ”Y-Yes sir….please fill in these forms here. Oh. Um...” She reached out only to realizing he was too far away. That throne needed a lot of space and it was floating quite high.

Damien waved a hand and sent a Barrier plate towards her. She hesitantly placed the documents on the transparent disk and watched as it flew back to it's caster.

Everyone in the room, all of them quite tipsy despite the early day, were speechless. What was going on?! They had never encountered such a situation before.

”For this dude too.” Damien pointed at Baz.

”Thanks, miss. ” Baz nodded and gave a winning smile, laying down on the floor to fill out the proper information

The heavy thud as he put down Big D scared the rest of the adventurer's shitless. It made a hole in the floor…

Who uses such a monstrously large weapon? They nearly fainted.

Damien ignored them. He returned the documents a few moments later.

”So. What? Do I start as a D-rank or something?”

The woman looked at him strangely. ”No? My Lord, that system has long since been deemed inefficient. It's all about licenses now.”

”Huh?”

She smiled. ”Simply put, we now prioritize actual skill over all other factors. You will receive certain licenses after taking tests. If passed these will enable you to take on quests that would be normally locked to new guild members were it our old system. You now are no longer limited by things like rank just because you're new. So long as you have the proper license you can take on any quest. Even age doesnt matter as long as you have the verified skills a quest calls for. ”

Damien was almost smiling. That sounded great! Finally someone did away with the usual shit tier ranking system! He always felt that stuff was annoying. Like, how does that make sense? Just because you're new, you're a crappy bronze or D-rank who can't take on certain quests? Have to work you way up, despite being too goddamn OP? Be looked down upon by people who might be weaker than you, or less knowledgable?

This was a damn breath of fresh air.

”What sort of tests are there?”

”Many kinds. The basic, mandatory test is of course combat capability. Others like teamwork, leadership, cartography, and herbology are optional but do offer a wider range of quests you can take. These being just some of the skills you can acquire a license for.”

Thats sounds a bit complicated, but still better than the other system.

”Nice. Lead the way.” Damien hopped off his throne.

”This is going to be fun.” Baz handed over his documents too and followed the receptionist as she led us to a door to the far right.

”You'll be fighting opponents of varying levels of skill.”

”Who's the strongest dude here?”

”Huh? That would be the resident guild master. But you can't be thinking of fighting him...he's a strong aura user, capable of--”

”Call him down.”

Ten minutes later Damien was standing, bored, as a muscular old man shot beams of sword energy at him. Which he blocked with the lowest level defensive spell, Barrier.

The spell was condensed to dramatically increase it's defense and five disks hovers around his body. The amount of control needed to move every single disk in real time to block the sword beams was surely mindboggling.

”This brat….how is he….?” The guild master, with many years of experience facing mages under his belt, was at a complete loss.

Damien unleashed his own aura, bursting with golden light. His feathery wings which made the old man sure he belonged to the Feather Folk, a minor race of little importance, became impossibly glorious.

”Get fucked.” And he slashed at him with Big D, copying Sir Kane's motions which he was so familiar with.

The aura found a catalyst for it's power and poured into the weapon as he swung, releasing in a single burst while the weapon was brought down.

Blinding white light tore the floorboards apart. The vast training area they were sparring in became destroyed in an instant.

Needless to say, he passed with flying colors and was told to please never come back ever again. Very politely, with bows from the entire staff.

How rude.

***

”Look at it, Baz. Ain't it glorious?” Damien stood with his hands on his hips As he admired the giant entrance to the dungeon. The thing was built into the ground, the opening a giant and wide set of stairs leading into the earth with a tall ceiling which cast shadows over the entire thing.

Multitudes of people swarmed the area. They were all adventurers of all sorts in all kinds of gear coming in and out. There were even stalls nearby selling food, weapons or armor. One particularly rich merchant was even selling a few healing potions like the one Damien had given to Minnie way back when. Though Damien was a Mercy main right now so he didn't at all need that.

”I don't like it. Too many people.” Baz said as someone bumped into him.

”MIlly, your thoughts?”

”I can't wait to smite heathen scum!” The evil Holy Sword thirsted for bloodshed. Sparks of red-colored electricity arched along her silver body. Damien wasted little time.

”Atta girl. But we're monster-slaying today, no uncultured swine on the menu tonight.” He chuckled. ”Alright, we're skipping ahead of the line. Baz, grab on.”

”Can I leave this thing here? It's heavy.”

”What? No, you can't leave my precious Big Destroyer behind.”

”But--”

”No buts!”

Damien hopped off his throne, took hold of Baz, and soared over everyone else. Who of course pointed and gasped at the sight of an Angel being followed by a flying sword and throne.

Though Baz was barely hanging on, and Big D hit quite a few heads as they flew low. So he did receive a colorful comment or two.

Such as, ”This pidgeon fucker!”

Which roused Damien to shout back with a,”It's chicken, asshole!”

As they approached the entrances he found that the identification card he received earlier from the pretty receptionist started vibrating. The darkness swallowed them whole.

And then there was light.

”My eyes!” Damien blinked.

”Hey, fuck you.” The bald giant frowned at him from ten feet away. To explain, they emerged from the darkness to a world of green grass and blue skies. The air was cool and crisp, the sun bright.

And reflecting that bright sun, turning it blinding, was a swole baldy in leather armor….that seemed more like some sort of bondage outfit since it covered very little, to be honest. With but a loincloth at his crotch and thick leather belts on his arms and legs, the man was an odd duck.

”Bald. Bald. Bald.” Baz pointed.

The bald giant, at least 6'5, growled at him spitefully. ”Bugger off. Fuckin' moss headed bastard.” He hefted a club over his shoulder.

Baz snorted. ”Mine's bigger than yours.” A smirk.

The tall, muscled pervert in the male equivalent of bikini armor barked out a gruesome laugh. ”Bigger isn't always better. You need skill, see, skill!”

Damien nodded. ”It do be that way, though.” He then added, ”But you can pick up skill as you go. Besides, that's mine anyway. ”

”Whatever just get outta here will ya?”

Just then someone shouted, ”Dammit, Rohk, get yer arse back here and help us finish this feisty twat! What're ya doin'? This ain't bloody fuckin' tea time!”

Someone wasn't happy.

”I'm comin', I'm comin'.” Rohk yelled back. He took a moment to stare at the weird floating sword and throne, then ran to his companions who were busy fending off attacks a bit away.

Baz and Damien both realized they were in the middle of an altercation between a party and some small, furry something that was bouncing all over the place at an incredible speed.

”What the bloody hell is that?” Damien asked.

”I dunno.” Baz's eyes sparkled. ”But it's so cute. Vee would love it! Young Master, let's catch it!”

Damien considered. ”Vee would? You think so?”

”Huh? Uh, yeah? But do you care?”

”Oh. Well, because we're engaged now.”

The ahoge went stiff as a board. ”WHAT?! Since when?!”

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”Since, like, this morning?”

Baz let out a shocked expression. ”...Oh. Oh, this changes things. Er, I'll be back. I gotta go buy some milk. ”

And he was never heard from again. Bastard doesn't even like milk.

”Looks like it's just you and me now, Papa.” Milly hummed pleasantly.

”Guess so.”

The gem-encrusted golden throne gently nudged him. ”And you, too, gaudy piece of shit. You too.” Damien patted it's armrest.

Meanwhile, someone was punted up into the air. The giant, furry something? A fucking Roo. And no, my friends, I wasn't talking about Kangaroo Jack. Nope, this guy was all of three feet tall if you were generous.

But it had serious power because one kick made a grown man defy gravity.

Damien lightly sprinted over and found the guy just about ready to die. His chest was caved in, he has bruises all over and coughing blood.

”Poor thing. Lemme heal you.”