Chapter 40 What Goes Up Must Come Down (1/2)

”Gentleman. Today we celebrate the bountiful harvest the Great Divine, namely me, has deigned to bless us with. Braving great danger to acquire, turning even against my own kin so that you may enjoy a once in a lifetime opportunity. Praise be to me, Water God Solaire. Amen.”

I clapped my hands together while holding a cigar firmly between my teeth, talking through clenched jaws. The small room was barely lit and all around were puffs of sweet, delicious smoke.

”Praise be.” Cass coughed. He half-assedly offered prayer with red-rimmed eyes.

”May your high never fall, brother Cass.” I held a hand to his forehead. ”I bless you with pot eternal.”

The man had tears in his eyes. ”My Lord!”

I nodded sagely. ”The munchies are upon me. I require sustenance. Go, my son. Fetch me a sammich.”

WIth dull eyes, he nodded. Got up. And promptly fell on his ass.

The King giggled. ”Oh man. He's fucked up.” Ignoring the fact he was totally baked himself.

I looked at him in astonishment. ”Holy…look at the size of that joint...Alex.” I hugged the boy from behind. ” Bro. We gotta smoke this. Let's smoke it, okay? We can share. GImme a torch.”

Alex was staring at his father with a crazed look. ”The Great DIvine Roll.” He whispered reveringly.

”YES!! I am the Divine Roll! Bow, mortals!” The King babbled deliriously. ”You shall never know the taste of my succulent Holy Herbs! Never!” And hopped right into the air. Then fell over, smashing his face against the floor. His nose was bloody, an aura of great rage and injustice springing up from his very depths. ”Dammit! I'll never forgive you, gravity!”

”....Your Majesty, even you? The cancer has spread to the highest echelons of our society.” Jacob shook his head. ”It's worse than I thought.” He held a wet towel to his mouth and nose. ”Alright, it's time for you guys to come out. The girls are worried.” He grabbed my shoulder.

”Hot…” My breaths came in ragged pants. I could feel the incredible might of the holy herbs coursing through my veins. Imbuing me with all the powers of a stonie. ”It's so hot!” I tore at my clothes, breaking free of my mortal coils. ”Freedom…”

I popped a weird golden cherry into my mouth. It burst open with rich juices. The world rocked.

Suddenly Jacob's fine head of hair changed colors.

”Mary…” I muttered.

The woman smiled naughtily. ”Come, my love...ravish me…”

She appeared to me like a Goddess, naked and flushed red, hearts in her eyes.

”I want you so bad, beloved… hurry...now…”

”We...we shouldn't...Baz is my bro….” I looked away.

Baz, laying on a couch, lifted his head. ”Huh? What's that?”

”He can watch.” Mary laughed. ”Don't worry about him. I want you inside me, Master.” She moaned erotically. Her left hand gently kneaded one breast while the other traveled downward. The blush on her face grew. Her mouth opened and a cute little tongue could be seen.

She bit at her lips seductively, making me swallow.

I dusted myself off and readjusted an imaginary tie. ”Challenge accepted.”

It was time for the Devil's Left and God's RIght to join forces. Baz, forgive me. I'll have to go all out...just this once. Maybe several times.

Poor Mary, she'll never be the same. But creating a masochistic yandere with the power to teleport is just the price one must pay for a good smash.

”... Get your goddamn hands off me.” Jacob's cold voice was like a tub of ice water washing over me.

Wait. I'm wet.

This fucker.

”Huh. That's new.” He commented. ” The water turned to frost.”

I cried in bone-deep sadness, regret, and rage. ”NO! Mary, come back!”

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Baz stared with squinted eyes. ”Mother was here?”

”My Mary…” I lamented. But my lovely was gone. Replaced by Jacob's ugly mug. ”YOU!” I hissed. ”You took her from me! Off with your head!”

”Milly! I need you!” I raised an arm. My voice shook the heavens and earth, calling my loyal weapon to my side.

Just then Milly cut through solid stone and flew to my hand. Tendrils of gold, silver, blue and faint hints of red exploded forth. They writhed about violently.

My head cleared in an instant.

”Fuck!” I threw the Holy Sword to the ground. ”You ruined my high! Damn useless pigsticker...knew I should've left you behind...nothing but trouble.”

A series of lights began to emit from the Holy sword, as if to say, ”I'll do better, I promise!”

The smoke entered my nostrils and caused a wave of emotions. I felt hot tears pour down my face.

”Oh, my poor baby. I didn't mean that. Papa's sorry.” I picked up the Holy Sword and held it to my chest.

My hands got nicked. The clarity returned. ”Son of a bitch, you cut me? And the high's gone again! Agh! I hate you to death! What are you even good for?”

Milly's light dimmed tragically.

”...Tsk. Can't even turn into a loli.” I spat. I looked at it's faint glows and sighed. ”What kinda Holy Sword can't even turn into a loli?...Alright, I'm really sorry this time. I didn't mean it. Come on. After I get some food in me we can go out and smite heretics, okay? ...Wait, that's tomorrow. Crap, what time is it? Jake, we gotta go.”

Jacob, a handsome youth clad in leather armor and a brown cloak, set his eyes on the others in the room. Alex, who was gulping as he stared at his father hopping around. Cass, calmly achieving enlightenment. And Baz who was…

”Jake, am I still high? Why's Vee here?” Yes. The green-haired girl was currently in the room with a cloth to her face, much like Jacob, slapping her brother back into sobriety. Or attempting to.

”No. I see her too. ”

”Oh. Good. Hey, Vee, good news!” I waved.

She shot me a glance. And froze.

I tilted my head quizzically.

”Um. Vee?” Why's this kid looking at me like that? It was unnerving.

I heard a new voice join. ”See, Min? I told you Master had a sword on his body. You didn't believe me. But it looks even bigger than it did before....I wonder why?” Evie knit her brows as if trying to solve some great mystery. She then exclaimed, ” Min, why are you hitting your head on the wall again? You'll get hurt.”

”I deserve the pain!” The woman replied.

”How vulgar.” Charlotte's tone dripped with disdain. ”Not only a drug addict, but a streaker too. And he's even corrupting our house's Al...wait, brother? What're you doing here with these guys? ”

The King was chewing on a coca leaf. ”The Divine Roll will devour these lesser herbs and make them apart of it's glorious self!” In case it wasn't clear, he was still in joint form. He was a giant rolled up blunt with a head. Quickly munching away at my herbs and spices.

Charlotte seemed deeply disturbed and quietly walked out.

I looked around at the various remaining women who'd entered the room. Apart from Lottie and Vee, Yesmina and Bubbles had also barged in. The three were just quietly staring from afar. Especially the last two.

I calmly laid the flat of Milly's blade across my shoulder.

”For the record, I'm not a druggie. This is for the sake of art.” I took a pose. ”Baz, continue.”

The boy coughed out puffs of purple clouds, extended a finger, and proceeded to trace a stick figure on his hand while constantly looking up. Moving around me as if to gain the perfect angle.

Meanwhile.