Chapter 18 Holy Artifact? No Thanks (2/2)

So Evie, even if she didn't think I was some sort of Saint, was probably feeling like Dolly was taking things for granted. Taking me for granted, specifically. Not only did Evie understand Dolly must've grown up like a little Princess but she also knew the girl had loving parents and me as her brother to boot.

Evie was understandably jealous of that. Seeing Dolly so careless around me must've been a bit of an eyesore especially given her belief in my Holiness, too.

Dolly, on the other hand, was more simple. She just felt like she was losing me to two strangers. She may have liked them at first but seeing me run off with them like this...Well, you can see how she'd feel about that, obviously.

Um, yeah. I might've been too thoughtless.

”I'll try to settle those two down when I get back.”

Having Dolly and Evie dislike each other was bad, okay? Really bad! I felt like it was bad, anyway.

Considering who they were, it was bad.

The Villainess and the Heroine being hostile to each other couldn't be something driven by fate, could it?

Was I being paranoid? This was a completely normal, understandable, cause-and-effect kind of occurance...right?

I refused to believe it was anything but.

Stifling the worry in my heart I called upon my several dozen War-Wolves and rode on Patches' back, a large pack of ferocious beasts following in my wake.

You didn't think I left them behind, did you?

Steel yourselves, my cute lil puppers.

We're goin' on a hunt.

***

After I'd given them a beat-down the wolves had become as tame as whipped dogs. And after I left home Patches of course followed me.

He was a large monstrosity of an animal, nearly 8 feet from nose to tail and standing tall at almost five feet high. His arms and legs were thick, sturdy things.

His face was fierce and scarred, his snarls ugly and terrifying enough to make a grown man wet himself.

All that was why when I made a threat to have him XOXO someone to death they usually passed out from fear.

But he was a real sweetie at heart, honest.

Although hisback was pretty straight and fur was soft enough I still opted to have a saddle made for him.

Oh and he didn't always used to be that big either. He just got that way after some love and care.

Which reminded me of Minnie and Evie. Those two were really thin at the start too but the past week or so of healthy eating restored some fullness to their cheeks and redness to their once pale complexions.

Minnie, especially, was a large eater. She was shy and confused the first time I served her a plate. She actually never got to touch food herself. She wasn't, apparently, a cook. Only a laborer who did things like cleaning or carrying. So her chef skills weren't the best.

Sir Kane didn't keep any staff either so he cooked for himself or had me do it when I was around.

After hearing an embarrassed and awkward Minerva admit her inexperience I just waved it off and told her and Evie not to worry about it.Then I started making it a point to give them three big, hearty love-stuffed meals every day, which paid off.

That was when Minnie discovered how big an appetite she had. She said she'd never been able to really eat till she was full before, breaking my heart all over again and making me serve her another piece of dessert with tears in my eyes.

Since she ate so much she was getting prettier by the day and I think even her breasts were somehow making a substantial growth.

Evie, well, she was also getting prettier but that was actually a cause for concern. If Mother was right about her origin and powers, that is. I knew I had to make up with her eventually. I didn't know anyone else who might actually have the knowledge to teach Evie about how to controll her abilities.

That aside, yeah, they were both eating well and looking great. Baz was attending to them when I wasn't able to, as I instructed, and It looked like he was being adopted as a little brother figure for the two. With Baz that was the norm.

If I was the Big Bro of the world then he was the Lil Bro.

These thoughts distracted me from the increasingly lush scenery coming into view. The flat, endless fields of green turned into a cacophony of vibrant flowers and flowing streams with a host of tall mountains just within eyesight.

The mountain tops jutted out like sharp blades into the sky above and disappeared behind silver clouds.

The place became beautiful. It was almost as beautiful as the area around the Claybrook Estate, even.

I looked at the map Sir Kane kindly threw at me.

Let's see....

Forked tree there...Waterfall there...Big ass boulder here....

The cave should be somewhere a mile or two further down.

While I studied our surroundings Patches made a small growl. The other wolves following us also seemed uneasy.

This is not the first time they did this, it'd been going on for a solid ten minutes already.

I glared at them. ”Stop being a buncha pussies. One more whimper and I'll have dog for lunch.”

The beasts were surprisingly intelligent. I didn't think they actually understood the exact meaning of the words but they knew a threat when they heard one.

The mutts quieted immediately, not daring to make a peep.

”Good boys.” I patted the head of the one closest. It bit at my hand with a growl of discontent. ”And girl, of course.” Hell maybe they did understand.

”Okay. On we go.”

I kicked at Patches' shoulder and spurred him forwards. The speed of a wolf wasn't that much worse than a horse, Patches being even faster than most horses I've ridden.

Wolves were also more agile so one as large and powerful as Patches traversed the uneven landscape with ease.

But something was off.

It was two things. First was the lack of animals. The entire area was quiet, too quiet for a region like this. Only the sounds of small insects could be heard and even then not often.

Second was the growing sense of familiarity. It was a nagging sensation, a feeling that this entire situation was somehow one I'd been in before.

The name of the destination was particularly sending waves of deja vu at me. Azalith Cavern. And the fact an Ogre was here made the feeling even stronger.

It's like I knew what it was, like it was on the tip of my tongue but there was some mental block preventing me from remembering what it was I should...well, be remembering.

But I couldn't get past that block no matter how hard I thought so I just put it out of my mind for the time being.

The entrance to the cave slowly came into view.

”We're here.” I slid off Patches to examine the walls of stone.

The cave was not natural. Everything was too neat. The entrance too perfectly shaped. I peeled off some growing moss and saw, as I expected, patterns and shapes indicating the place was man-made.

I'd seen that pattern before. I know I had. Why couldn't I remember? Ugh. How vexing.

I saw the wolves, including patches, staying put outside the cave.

”Okay boys and girl, ask yourselves.” I smiled warmly.”What's scarier? An Ogre...or me?”

The wolves all looked at one another for a long time and seemed to come to a silent agreement.

They followed without further prompting.

They really are smart, eh? They knew a ”probably” was lot less terrifying than a ”certainty.”

On this hunt they MIGHT die, but disobeying me meant they WILL die. They wanted to eat me and mine so I'm not averse to eating them and theirs if they can't earn their keep.

I led them further in.

I took out the knife--a dagger, really. It was always a good idea to get your weapons out at the start.

I had only taken twenty steps before a bloodcurdling roar ripped through the air.

The entire cave trembled and my hair stood on end.

I took off in a sprint.

”...LONG LIVE CAT-EARS!!”

***

Have you ever seen an Ogre before? Outside of Hentai? Well let me tell you, friends....they're actually pretty nice.

”Hi. My name's Richard. How are you, traveler?”

The scream from before? A stubbed toe.

Richard was 10 feet high, fat, balding, and had a kind smile. He also wore a brown robe similar to that of a monk's.

”Dude, what the fuck.”

The man...Ogre...seemed appalled. ”Language!” He chastised. ”These are holy grounds, good sir, not a speakeasy!”

Hahaha....What. The. Fuck.

The wolves behind me had no idea what to do.

Maybe it was because the moment I rushed in the guy was sitting on a staw mat and offering me tea.

”Hold up a minute. You're an Orgre, right?” I asked for the tenth time.

”Oh yes. That is, unless my mother was lying about her short-lived dalliance with the Orc from one town over.” He joked, for the tenth time.

”Aren't those the samething?”

”What? Heavens no!” His ugly face shook with enthusiasm. ” Entirely different. They're a lot smaller. And, if you don't mind me saying, a lot simpler. If you know what I mean.”

I felt a headache. ”Okay listen buddy, I came here expecting to have a duel to the death. Not to drink tea--which is delightful, by the way, I'd love to know the recipe--with some sorry excuse of a mid-boss! Why aren't you stupid, smelly, angry and eating the entrails of some poor villager you caught just before my arrival that would only serve to spur on my desire for your defeat?! Or at the least why aren't you in the middle of trying to r*pe some pretty housewife in front of her children who you'll eat as a snack later that I can save?!”

I was really pissed off. Not that I wanted any of those situation to happen, but what the hell was up with this guy being so...so goddamn PLEASANT?!

He looked at me like I grew a second head. And was absolutely scandalized.

Then he let out a sigh of remorse. ”Oh, I guess I can't help it if you have such misconceptions about me and my race. The Orcs and Ogres of the world have long since been given a bad name by those vile people.”

”What?” I didn't get it. ”What vile people?” I smelled a good story about to unfold.

”The Elves, of course!” He shuddered with repressed anger. ”Let me tell you, none of those despicable stories are true! We do not eat intelligent species, most of us are actually herbivores despite our robust physiques, and we certainly don't force ourselves upon women! Those are naught but horrid slander by those... those evil seductresses of the Elven race!”

”...What?” I asked again, both thoroughly confused and engrossed in the tale currently unfolding.

”You must know it was not all of them, however. Only a few actually participated in the whole thing, but that was enough. It all began many eras ago...” His eyes wandered off. ”Back when relations with our two races--sorry, three, including the Orcs--were not quite so bad. At that time we were at war, it's true, but there was not as much hate between us. It was merely a negotions between nations, you understand. Yes, as their husbands bravely fought on the front lines a few dozen or so Elven women had affairs with those of my kind in secret. Tragic, is it not? It wasn't odd for our races to couple during peace times so that wasn't what was wrong. It was that those women were truly evil. Because when their husbands returned to their homes and saw half-Orc and half-Ogre babies, they were furious. Understandably. Yet instead of admitting to their affairs, which would have been bad enough for the husbands to hear, the wives each did something much more cruel and claimed they were ravaged by Orc and Ogre invaders. That for weeks they had been toyed with and used as...Oh I can't even say.”

He teared up. His girthy body quaked visibly even under than enormous sack--er, robe--as he recounted his ancestor's sad history.

”But it was not true at all. In fact it was the women who held dominance. They were insatiable! The poor Orc and Ogre commoners--not soldiers--that had fled after their village was destroyed spread and found themselves in enemy territories where they were used by those horrible women. And after the husbands returned and heard the lies, they were killed. One and all, in the most terrible of ways. Those lies continued to grow and soon, after many years, all had heard of them. And the stigma placed upon our races lasted even to this day and age, the truth of our shame and mistreatment forever lost to time. Even those who were told of this never believed us. In fact you're the first to ever come here and NOT mindlessly stab at me. Every other traveler who meets one of my kind think us mere savage monsterswho drown themselves in bloodshed and lust for women and they never hesitate to either run away or attack with all their might. It's been so hard having to stay here in this stuffy cave all by myself with no one to talk to. This is why I'm truly grateful for your patience and understanding.”

”Ah” He got up, wiping away his unsightly appearance. ” Sorry, I got a bit heated there, didn't I? I almost forgot. You must be here for the Holy Artifact, yes?”

Holy Artifact?

”Um--”

”Everyone who finds themselves here are the same. Normally they die fighting me, although obviously they leave me no other option but to fight in the first place. I think you and I can skip such matters, eh? I'm not confidant I could beat you anyway. A Dragon-Angel hybrid is a uniquely rare existence I in no way want to do battle with. Oh. Sorry. Pardon my ramblings. I'll lead you to it then.”

”Actually, that's not--”

”Come this way, friend.Let's see if you have the virtues of a Hero.”

Richard's home was a dome-shaped structure with worn-out paintings and stacks of books along the walls. In the center was a table, a mat, and on the far left was a stack of hay where I assume he slept.

Behind him was an unblemished gate seemingly made of red crystal which he was leading me to, his enormous hand giving me no real choice in the matter.

An ornate key opened the gate to reveal another, even large space. In the center of which was a pillar of light shining down upon a silvery sword.

It was a masterfully crafted piece with mystical blue runes glowing down the fuller and a guard comprised of gold. As for the hilt, there was a thumb-sized blue stone attached to the end.

The whole sword had a vibrant holy aura that was only slightly surpressed by the obsidian-black stone in which it was embedded.

This is the Holy Sword the Hero uses in his travels to defeat the Demon King.

”Go ahead, try it.” Richard's expectant eyes urged me on.

”Nah, I'm good.” I refused.

I guess now I knew why I got such a sense of familiarity here.

”Huh? No, no, it's okay, really. Try it.”

”I don't want it though.”

”Don't be ridiculous, of course you do.”

”Really, I don't.”

”But everyone does.”

”I'm not everyone.”

”I see. But I insist. You came all this way. At least give it a go.”

”Why?”

”Well, why not?”

”Because I don't want to. ” I repeated. ”It won't budge anyway”

”You never know until you try.You could be the Chosen One, you know?”

”Sounds boring. Don't wanna.”

”I won't stop asking until you try, okay?” His kind, disgusting face hovered over me.

This guy!

”Fuck! Alright, geez.” What a damn annoying bastard.

It won't work anyway. There's only one Chosen One and it ain't me. Why the hell do I have to bother? Shit. So annoying. I should've just killed him.

Grumbling to myself, I walked up to the sword and gave a little tug.

”See? I told you It wouldn't--”

The sword slipped out as easily as a hot knife through butter.

The entire cave lit up, the pillar of light growing larger and more brilliant. I thought I could hear angels singing off in the distance too.

Richard's eyes went wide.

I stared at the sword. This cheating whore...Where's your loyalty?!

What the hell am I going to do with this? I don't like swords much anymore. And I'm so totally NOT going to take up the Hero's job for real. Hell no.

”Fucking useless.” I chucked into the air, causing it to land right back into the giant mass of stone. ”Who wants you?”

Richard looked like he was having a heart attack.

I ignored it. ”So.” I started. ”You're not using that handsome-lookin' Great Club back there, are you?”

That's right boys.We're doing a strength build.