53 Strong hear (1/2)
Gustav was following the path Evlin used to distance herself from the rest of the group. Ashley realized that something had been bothering him for a while now and suggested that he would try to talk about it with Evlin for some reason.
He honestly didn't felt this was a good idea but Ashley kept insisting anyway. As the blond man kept walking on top of the rocky terrain he started to recall memories from when he and Evlin first met.
The truth is, Gustav was a little afraid of Evlin. When she joined the team, Gustav tried to use her as a scapegoat to boost the group's view of Daren's leadership skills so they wouldn't fall apart during a moment of crisis. However, he tried to do that at the cost of emphasizing how weak Evlin was in comparison. It was a rather cruel tactic but one he felt was necessary at the time.
What he failed to realize at the time though, was that Evlin was still a person with feelings, feelings that Gustav injured without a second thought. Not only that, his brilliant plan to show how weak she was actually managed to show to the rest of the group she was much stronger than any of them imagined.
You don't know a person's true nature while they are on top, but you can find out once they reach their lowest point, and at that day, Gustav and the rest of the group saw Evlin at her lowest point, and what she showed gave everyone nothing but respect. They saw a young child who was carrying a lot of pain and suffering and trying her best not to give up.
Gustav tried to think about what he would have done if he reached his lowest point. The moment he realized in how grave of a situation he and his friends were, his first move was to sacrifice a little girl he just met to fulfill his own selfish plans. A little girl who had come to them with wide-open eyes filled with hope expecting this group to be the ones who would solve all of her problems.
Gustav was filled with shame, guilt, and regret. He always tried to look at himself as the mature one of the team, but that little girl showed to be a much proper adult than he could ever hope to be.
Even since that day, he would try to avoid contact with Evlin as much as possible, trying to hide his shame from his past actions. He also assumed Evlin wasn't really that interested in getting closer to him either. Her words echoed inside his mind.
[[I don't need you!]]
The words that stabbed him like a dagger and that he had been carrying ever since that unfortunate discussion. Gustav promised himself that he would work hard to earn her forgiveness and that he would prove worthy to be part of Evlin's team, but the time never came.
He knew that he could provide support with his telepathic ability, but when it came to actual fighting and saving his friends in peril, Gustav always felt so useless. He couldn't save Evlin from the demon slayers like Lilith, he couldn't fight on the front lines during their metal recovery missions like Daren, and when Marcus attacked their base not too long ago, Ria was the one that helped them escape while Evlin held him off, and the two almost died in the process. After that, Auren was the one who managed to save them in the end.
Even Ashley was more useful than him. She would always come up with different strategies and battle formations to bring out the full power of the team, as well as provide moral support for Evlin and helping raise her to become an even better leader.
As if that wasn't enough, Ria and Auren, who Gustav always considered being his fellow sideline partners, just managed to receive an amazing new power that would allow them to fight as well.
Gustav was being left behind. He wanted to prove he was worthy of Evlin's forgiveness, but what had he done so far to earn it? He was looking forward to the day they would reach the demon kingdom and he would receive his curse so he could fight as well and make Evlin respect him, but that day just kept looking further and further away. How long would he have to hold on to this feeling of uselessness?
He stopped at the end of the path and noticed Evlin on the ground using Sphinx's as a pillow while gazing at the night sky. He expected her to look a little depressed due to her failed attempt from a few seconds ago, but her eyes didn't hold any sadness or pain, they were just admiring the stars.
Why did Ashley send him here? He assumed that she wanted him to listen to Evlin's worries and try to comfort her, but she looked like she was fine already. Should he just leave?
Before he could, her griffin raised his head and looked at him.
”What's wrong Sphinx? Anyone there?”
She met eyes with Gustav, leaving him in a state of confusion without knowing what to say.
”Hello, miss Evlin...”
”Oh hey Gustav, anything wrong?”
It seems like she really wasn't that upset about her fall after all. Gustav tried to start a conversation.
”Just wondering if you were all right... You left looking rather upset back there...”
”Is that so...? Sorry bout that... I was feeling a little dizzy and needed some air... I'm better now, don't worry...”
”Glad to hear.”
Evlin did look like she was fine after all. Gustav really didn't know what to do from that point. Should he try to leave after all? Evlin stared at him and expressed some worry.
”Are you ok...? Your face looks a little weird...”
”My face...?”
Gustav tried to touch his face and attempted to figure out what expression he was making.
”Come here, I can apply some healing magic if you are wounded somewhere.”
”Ah... That will not be necessary... My wounds are not physical...”
”Is that so...? Well... If you want... I can lend you an ear...Ashley always listens to my problems when I'm upset and it always makes me feel better.”
”... Is... Is that ok...?”
”...? Why would it not be ok? We are friends right?”
They were friends? Gustav always assumed Evlin hated him. When did they become friends?
”Come on! Sphinx is very comfortable! Let's enjoy the stars while you tell me about your problems. It is the duty of the leader to take care of the team after all.”
Gustav accepted her offer and the two started to stare at the sky side by side. They remained in silence for a little while before Gustav finally decided to talk.
”Miss Evlin...?”
”Yes?”
”Why am I here...?”
”... Huh... Because you followed me...?”
”No, I don't mean in this situation... I mean... Why am I still part of the group??”
”... I'm not sure I follow... Why wouldn't you be?”
”I don't bring anything that the team couldn't live without... Every time we face a dire crisis I can never provide any meaningful help... I thought it was fine just being the support for the actual fighters... But everyone who used to be on the support side became a fighter as well... It used to be just Daren... But now... Lilith, Ria, Auren... They all are much more capable of providing actual help... I'm just...”
”Weak...”
Gustav was taken back by her bluntness but had nothing to argue with. Maybe she did hate him after all.
”... Yes... I'm weak... I'm weak, and useless... I don't belong in this group...”
”My sister is also weak and can't fight... Should I kick her out as well?”
”I would never consider Ashley a weak person... That fact that she endured all our challenges without breaking apart is something to be proud of.”
”... She did break apart... Multiple times...”
”Huh...?”
”When we started to travel together, Ashley got captured by a group of hunters and got stabbed on the hand. It was a small wound but she acted like she was about to die and couldn't stop crying. After we fought against her crazy brother, she spent hours just vomiting due to the amount of stress she received. And when first met you guys, she wouldn't stop picking fights with everyone trying to stop us from rushing into things blindly...”
”...”
”She doesn't show it much but she's trying to hold back a lot of frustration all the time...”
”I see...”
”But she still manages to hold on... You know why?”
”... Because she has you by her side?”
”Yeap! After all, I'm the world's best younger sister and always have her back... But that's only half the reason. It's also because she has a dream.”
”...”