54 THE NIGHTS OF MY LIFE (1/2)
After dinner, Hua Zhendan had taken a bath and returned to the hammock on the porch. Staring at the stars, he let his mind replay his favorite memories with Xuan Tianyi.
\”Hey.\” Xuan Tianyi's voice echoed through Hua Zhendan's subconscious, bringing him back to reality.
For the second time in one night, Hua Zhendan thought he had imagined Xuan Tianyi's voice. Still, when he looked at the porch's door, Xuan Tianyi's figure appeared in his line of vision. With a small smile, he spoke to him. \”I thought you left.\”
\”I did. But then, I realized I had forgotten something. So I had to come back.\” Xuan Tianyi replied.
Hua Zhendan raised a brow. \”What did you forget?\”
\”My... My pen.\” Xuan Tianyi stuttered.
Hua Zhendan chuckled. In that instant, he knew why Xuan Tianyi had returned. If he didn't know Xuan Tianyi stuttered when he was embarrassed, their almost one year together could be considered a waste of time. Unashamedly, he asked. \”Wouldn't it be easier to just say you came back because you wanted to be with me?\”
\”That's... Not... Not what I want.\” Xuan Tianyi stuttered again.
\”Come here.\” Hua Zhendan said softly.
Xuan Tianyi complied with no resistance. Soon, he was standing right in front of Hua Zhendan.
Hua Zhendan wrapped his hand around his waist. Looking up at Xuan Tianyi, he asked in a soft voice, \”What do you want then?\”
\”If... If I told you what I wanted, will you give it to me?\”
Hua Zhendan raised a brow. Xuan Tianyi almost never asks him for anything. \”Is it something I can give you?\”
\”Yes.\” Xuan Tianyi said with a nod.
\”Tell me then.\”
\”I...\” Xuan Tianyi brushed a strand of hair from Hua Zhendan's face so he could look see it clearly as he spoke. \”When I saw you earlier... I realized I had missed you.\”
Hua Zhendan smiled again.
\”And when you and Shen Rui were talking about Qiu Dawei, I couldn't take it, so I went away.\”
Hua Zhendan nodded. He knew that much.
\”When... When I was going away, I realized I couldn't leave. Because... Because I wanted to... To be with you.\”
Hua Zhendan nodded but concealed his smile behind a staunch expression. Even in the darkness of the dimly-lit porch, he could still see how embarrassed Xuan Tianyi was and didn't want to cause him anymore embarrassment. Clearing his throat, he asked. \”Are you asking me out?\”
Xuan Tianyi shook his head. \”I... I want to... Be with you tonight.\”
Hua Zhendan raised a brow in surprise. That was the last thing he had expected Xuan Tianyi to say. He didn't want one-night-stands to be their relationship's New Year's Eve tradition. Releasing Xuan Tianyi's waist, he shook his head and replied with one word. \”No.\”
Xuan Tianyi sat on the hammock beside him. In a persuasive tone, he asked. \”Why not? You said you'd give me what I wanted if it was something you could give.\”
\”And I'm willing to give you the remaining nights of my life. You should have recognized that much when I told you before that I would marry you.\”
Xuan Tianyi dropped his head.
\”Xuan Tianyi,\” Hua Zhendan said with a seriousness that made Xuan Tianyi afraid to look into his face. \”If you don't want me everyday... If all you want is one night and nothing more, then, I'm afraid that's something I can't give you.\”
\”But—\”
Xuan Tianyi started to talk, but Hua Zhendan interrupted him. \”You know... I talked to Qiu Dawei. And I realized I made a mistake some five years ago.
\”The night I thought he cheated on me, I found out he didn't. I had given up on that relationship because I couldn't handle the anger and jealousy I felt after what I presumed was a ruthless betrayal.\”
Xuan Tianyi looked up at Hua Zhendan. What Hua Zhendan didn't know was that he had seen him together with Qiu Dawei at the hospital and had heard every word the two of them had exchanged.
Hua Zhendan continued. \”The only reason I told you I don't want to go after you anymore was because you kept shoving that Fah boy in my face and I'm just too possessive and jealous to take that kind of treatment laying down.
\”The moment I realized my mistake from that time, my first instinct was to come after you and confess my love to you all over again.
\”But then, I remembered you had told me you didn't want me back in your life. And I thought about it and realized something else. Everytime I try to chase after you, it never works out. For some reason, the only way we work is when you come after me first.
\”So, I stayed still and waited for you. For two weeks, I didn't call. All I did was wait. And now that I think you finally came to your senses, this is what you've come here to tell me?\”
\”Why didn't you go back to Qiu Dawei?\”
The question threw Hua Zhendan off-guard. That wasn't the next thing he had expected Xuan Tianyi to say. \”What?\”
\”When you discovered your mistake, why didn't you go back to Qiu Dawei? He still wanted you back, didn't he?\”