6 THE FRIVOLITY OF HUMAN NATURE (1/2)

Holding a burning stick of cigarette between the pointer and middle fingers of his left hand, Hua Zhendan looked at the screen of his ringing phone, checking the caller ID.

He felt his chest tighten when he realized the caller was Shen Rui. He was still mad at her for earlier, but try as he might, he could never bring himself to ignore her calls.

With a sigh of resignation, he dragged the phone icon that was oscillating in the middle of the phone to the right and picked the call. Drawing a mouthful of cigarette, he spoke into the cell with a tired voice, ”Ma?”

”Da Zhen...” the voice at the other end hesitated. It sounded like she wanted to say something but couldn't decide if she should. Shen Rui continued, ”You sound tired.”

Hua Zhendan didn't reply. He could sense that she had something to say but wanted to bide his time. He exhaled the smoke in his mouth and drew in another mouthful, waiting for her to speak.

”What are you doing?” Shen Rui asked.

Hua Zhendan exhaled the smoke in his mouth and paused before answering. He had the urge to say, I'M HAVING HOT GAY SEX, MA. Resisting it, he said, ”It's night, ma. I'm preparing to go to bed.”

”I see,” Shen Rui said.

Hua Zhendan was starting to lose his patience. He threw the half-burnt stick of cigarette in a glass ashtray. He picked up a new stick of cigarette and lit it. ”Did you want anything?”

”Da Zhen...” Shen Rui paused.

Hua Zhendan glanced at the person sitting beside him on the bed. The person's demeanor was calm, but he could sense his impatience. The person was probably scrolling through his phone to cool his heels. ”Ma, I'll call you tomorrow if I'm free.”

”You always say —”

Shen Rui was starting to protest but was interrupted by Hua Zhendan. ”Ma, bye. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?”

The voice at the other end sighed. ”Okay. Goodnight.”

Without bothering to reply her, Hua Zhendan ended the call, threw the new stick of cigarette in the ashtray, then lit a different one.

When Hua Zhendan had left Shen Rui, although he had said he still had work to do, neither did Hua Zhendan go back to the office nor did he go back home. He wasn't in the mood to work.

What he wanted — what he needed was someone he could vent to. The only problem was that he didn't have any such person in his life.

He had dated Qiu Dawei throughout the four years he had spent at Brown University. Since he had a boyfriend, he hadn't bothered with keeping the handful of male friends he had back then. Even if he had wanted to, he couldn't because Qiu Dawei had been a tad too insecure.

As for female friends, that was out of the question as Hua Zhendan himself had been a tad too insecure. He trusted Qiu Dawei, but he also knew Qiu Dawei had had a girlfriend in high school. Before Qiu Dawei had known he was gay. What if one of his female friends caught Qiu Dawei's eyes and he realized he wasn't gay after all?

Now, Hua Zhendan knew it was silly, but back then, when it came to Dawei, he had never really thought things through with his head, but rather, his heart. It was a mistake he couldn't repeat.

Moreover, if something had bothered him in the past, he could always talk to Shen Rui about it. They had been that close. If it were something he couldn't share with Shen Rui, he could talk to Qiu Dawei about it, thus eliminating the need for 'friends.'

Unfortunately, when his relationship with Qiu Dawei ended, his friendship with Shen Rui also did.

In the past four years, Hua Zhendan hadn't met anyone he could accurately describe as a friend.

Knowing this, he had booked a room in a high-class brothel called JIAXIANG, and given Cheng Jian a call.

Hua Zhendan turned his head to the side, looked at the man who had barely given him a glance since his arrival, and sighed. ”Say, Xiao Cheng. Don't you think I'm pitiful?”

Cheng Jian didn't reply him. In truth, he did think Hua Zhendan was pitiful.

When Cheng Jian had received Hua Zhendan's call, he had been apprehensive about meeting him up. At that moment, he was standing with an old friend with whom he shared his misgivings.

”Was that your boyfriend?” his friend, Lan Haiyang had teased him.

Cheng Jian had nodded.

Although Lan Haiyang hadn't seen Cheng Jian in a while, he was able to guess accurately that the caller was Hua Zhendan. Only Hua Zhendan's call could suddenly turn Cheng Jian's pretty face sour.

Lan Haiyang had chuckled. ”I really don't get you. If you dislike him this much, why do you still go to him when he calls?”

”I just think he's pitiful. Forget his inexplicable loyalty to me. Nowadays, he doesn't even have sex with me. He only talks my ear off. He's lucky I'm the only one he calls, no-one else would be able to tolerate his rubbish.”

”What does he talk about?”

”Who knows? Do I listen to him?”

Lan Haiyang chuckled again.

”Forget about him, what are you doing here?”