364 Random Draws (2/2)
”…I truly do sympathize with you. But if these were three out of four of the Epic-tier items, what was the fourth?”
”Ha! The fourth one was 'The addendum to the addendum of Kratos' guide to melee combat: Since I know you didn't really believe me, now let me tell you all the evidence; just listen, that Titan Giant was truly larger than a mountain, and this Hydra was larger than a ship…' I read this book for two full days and deeply learned about the importance of teaching literacy to the Barbarians. Forget about misspelled words—he didn't even use any punctuation! Do you know what it's like to have obsessive-compulsive disorder and correct every single bit of his punctuation? I read it for two days, but I spent two weeks correcting his grammar!”
”You really did finish it!”
”…Well, he's still a super powerful individual from the immemorial generation. Perhaps he knew some top secrets. But the result was…”
”Don't frown like that. It's still of the Epic tier, right? It should at least be something good. A God Equipment?”
”Ha, from a certain standpoint, it really was. Kratos' full set of defensive equipment, the real deal.”
”Doesn't that mean you profited in the end? Wait a moment, you said that Kratos was a Barbarian…”
”…That's right! No matter if it was the immemorial generation or in today's age, Barbarians have always fought while naked. But, Kratos was better than most as he still wore one defensive piece of equipment, which my System reviewed as Legend-tier.”
”…So what was it?”
”Well, it's a poop-yellow pair of strawberry blazoned underwear, original flavor. Would you like it? I'll give it to you for free!”
”…Disgusting! Hurry up and throw it away! You actually carry such a disgusting thing on yourself!?”
”I don't have any choice. It's the same as those soulbound twin swords of his—his underpants are actually soulbound to me! I can't even throw it away if I want to! Come, why don't you try?”
After some chaos and scuffling, I confirmed that even though Harloys also counted as my bound equipment, she was still unable to equip this shining ”soulbound” underwear of mine. I could only helplessly bring out a large amount of bandages, tie the underwear up again, and throw it back into my personal dimensional storage.
”…Truly a pitfall of Gachapon draws. At least those Elite-tier items were useful, right?”
”Yeah, the Elite-tier items were special type of cards, each with a rune etched onto it. As long as I got ”San, Yang, Kai, Tai!” I would be able to obtain a God Equipment that Kratos had personally used. For this, I even specifically asked my System. She said there would be no pitfall involved with the God Equipment and it would definitely be real.”
”You have five Elite grade items? Doesn't that mean you drew them all? There are only four runes, right?”
”Yep. Although I drew two ”Yang” runes, I indeed drew all four of those runes. But…”
”But?”
”I didn't draw the exclamation mark! The damned exclamation mark was required for part of the runes as well! I needed a total of five runes, including the punctuation!”
”…You could have kept drawing. You would have drawn it sooner or later.”
”Heh heh, just where do you think that 418 Justice Point random draw package deal idea came from? After that, I drew '?', ',''.', ':', ';', and even '…' and '¿'. The System must have been trying to torture me! San, Yang, Kai, and Tai? Why was there only no damned exclamation mark!?!”
”I can understand how you feel. But please don't stress out about it—that's just how random draws work. Some people win, and some people lose…”
”Haha, but I've never won! Relax. I already know how to make myself feel better. Whenever I'm feeling terrible, all I have to do is make someone feel even worse. Heh, I've already made arrangements with the Justice Points system. They want to obtain my treasures? Sure, but they're going to have to make random draws! The 418 Justice Point random draw package deal is only the basic package. There's also 688 and 1088! My goal is to make others draw till they quit or go bankrupt!”
”Why don't you learn how to quit first?”
Author's Note:
Today is New Year's, and it's quite noisy in my home. I don't want to write anything, nor do I know what to write. My chronic laziness is here again, and I really want to take a break like all the other authors... But since it's New Year's, I'm sure there are many readers with free time waiting for the next chapter who'd be disappointed upon seeing no new chapter. That's why I still wrote something. After thinking for a long while, I thought that it is, after all, New Year's, and it'd be rather boring to push the main plot along. So why not write something fun? I hope this chapter gives you a good chuckle—that'll bring a smile to me as well!
Finally, Happy New Year's to everyone! I wish you all stay healthy and happy together with your families! San Yang Kai Tai! [2]2 (This time, it's not the wrong words!)
Note:
[1] TL/N: Reference to Kratos from the game God of War.
[2] TL/N: (San Yang Kai Tai) means auspicious beginning of a new year!TL/N: Reference to Kratos from the game God of War.TL/N: (San Yang Kai Tai) means auspicious beginning of a new year!