Chapter 962: Mortis thoughts (1/2)

Mortis simply continued lying on the ground.

'Gravis actually truly cares for me,' Mortis thought. 'I haven't noticed it due to my anger and hatred, but Gravis actually felt an overwhelming amount of guilt and self-loathing while lying to me.'

'I'm also sure that it's not just because I'm his Avatar,' Mortis thought. 'I think he has the feeling that he needs to protect me since he has been like me in the past. I'm like a younger version of himself that he feels like he needs to protect.'

'Usually, I would feel disdain to whoever dared to feel about me like this,' Mortis thought calmly. 'However, I don't feel so bad, actually.'

'Haven't I subconsciously depended on Gravis when I accepted the token for free Law Comprehension?'

Mortis' thoughts remained silent for a while.

'Gravis feels similar to Orpheus.'

Mortis had all the memories of Gravis, which meant that everything that happened to Gravis in the past also happened to Mortis.

'Orpheus has also helped me several times like this, and I've never repaid him even once.'

'Orpheus hasn't helped me because of a selfish desire, and I think Gravis is the same in that aspect. Gravis doesn't help me to make life easier for him, but because he genuinely cares for me.'

Mortis continued looking at the sky.

'I miss father and mom,' Mortis thought.

Mortis always thought of himself as a superior being that was always in control over his emotions.

Yet, in reality, Mortis was just a younger version of Gravis, which was why, when the barrier around his emotions cracked, their effects increased manifold.

However, Mortis was also far older than Gravis had been when he went through the same thing, which meant that Mortis could remain calm and deal with the emotions rationally.

'Is feeling cold apathy all the time really necessary?' Mortis thought with a concerned expression on his face.

'I am lightning, and I will never part from my lightning, but does being lightning mean that I can't do what I want?'

'I still remember the Black Magnate's words, and he said that chasing power will eventually lead to greyness and nothingness. I ignored these words for a long time, thinking that I couldn't be so mentally weak. After all, only weak people feel bad, right?'

The clouds passed above Mortis as he simply looked at them.

'I think the Black Magnate was actually right.'

'If I continue chasing power like this, I need to eventually confront nothingness.'

'I only comprehended the Law of the Living World recently, and I'm far away from reaching the same power as the Black Magnate.'

'Yet, I already feel so empty and hollow after only being confronted with myself for this little bit.'

'If I already feel this empty right now, how empty will I feel in the future when there's nothing left to chase?'

Mortis' thoughts drifted to freedom.

'Freedom means being able to do what one wants. I want to chase power, but I also want to be free of suppression.'

'I want to be one with lightning, but I also don't want to feel this emptiness inside me all the time.'

'Why can't I just have both?'

Mortis remained silent for a couple of seconds.

Then, he suddenly started laughing a bit.

'Actually, freedom means I can do exactly that.'

'I can combine both!'

'Lightning only means following myself since I am lightning. As long as I kill whoever I feel is deserving of death, and as long as I help whoever is deserving of my help, I would still be lightning.'

'Is that even suppression? After all, I would want to do that regardless. Following these principles is already following the principles of lightning.'

'Being lightning doesn't mean that I have to be bitter and emotionless all the time.'

'This entire conflict between Gravis and lightning happened only because Gravis spared the middle Heaven's life out of spite.'

'Gravis actually wanted to kill the middle Heaven, but he wanted to prove his own freedom to himself by sparing the middle Heaven.'

'Ironically, this was going against freedom, but it's understandable. After all, Gravis only knew the level four Law of Freedom, not the True Law of Freedom. If he honestly knew everything about freedom, Gravis would have directly comprehended the True Law of Freedom, which should be a level nine Law, I believe.'

'Would I spare the middle Heaven?'

'No,' Mortis thought without hesitation. 'I would have killed the middle Heaven since it was deserving of death.'

'So, there's no conflict between my lightning and I.'