Chapter 784: Indecipherable Mess (2/2)

Meeting the one destined person in one's life would be an event of happiness and excitement, but when one desired freedom and was basically forced to meet this person, would it still be a happy event?

Gravis' emotions had never been this messed up before. They weren't messed up in the sense that he became emotional but in the literal sense. They were a confusing, undefinable mess.

'Logically, I should pursue a relationship with her, but it also feels like I would be manipulating her. I know that we perfectly fit together, but she doesn't. It feels like I'm at an advantage in a trade. However, this isn't a trade. Aren't partners supposed to give themselves to each other? This would feel more like me taking it than receiving it since the conclusion is basically already foregone.'

BZZZ!

Deep inside Gravis, his lightning was rebelling again.

'And then there's something else,' Gravis thought with a sigh.

'Joyce.'

'I have promised Joyce that I would wait for her until we met again. If she were already dead, it wouldn't be an issue. Hell, it would even be enough if she forgot me or didn't care.'

'However, father said that Joyce is still hellbent on fulfilling our promise and meeting again. In her mind, I am the perfect Cultivator, uninfluenced by emotions and only striving for power. After all, that's how she had met me back then.'

'Yet, I've changed so much since then. I would be unrecognizable to her. It wouldn't be that far of a stretch to say that Joyce and I have switched places. She has become a cold, direct, and unfeeling Cultivator that only strives for power while I'm the one that takes emotions into account.'

'Everything's a mess. Joyce loves a person that doesn't exist, but that person is still me. Stella and I would be a perfect fit, but everything regarding this situation is just messed up and feels impure.'

'I have given a promise to a person that loves a different me and doesn't know me. I know that it definitely won't work out between us, but I would still be breaking my promise that I have given with all my heart back then.'

'I mean, I wouldn't receive any kind of meaningful consequence by breaking that promise, but that doesn't mean that I want to. I would feel like a lying piece of shit if I broke that promise.'

'So then, what about Stella? She has to, at least, wait until we reach the highest world. However, that will take hundreds of thousands of years, and I'm only 4,000 years old. The closest comparison would be a 16-year-old that heard that they would only find their partner when they became 80 years old, but even that wouldn't make justice to the sheer difference of time.'

'I can't even tell Stella since that would open too many questions and would require me to explain sensitive details about my past. I wouldn't have a problem with her knowing, but she trusts her brother and maybe even other people. Since she trusts them, she might let something slip. However, I don't trust the people she trusts, at least not with my life.'

'Also, she probably wouldn't even believe me. Sure, the Law of Honesty would help, but using it also feels a bit like intruding on someone else's mind. I have no problem using it against enemies or neutral people, but I wouldn't want to use it against someone I have a friendly relationship with.'

'On top of that, there is still this issue with my lightning. Depending on how this issue gets resolved, my personality might change drastically again. At that point, we wouldn't be compatible anymore, and it would be akin to me dying for her.'

'Everything's uncertain.'

'Everything's a complex and indecipherable mess.'

Stella looked at Gravis with a confused expression. Gravis had been standing there for several seconds as he only looked to the side with a complex expression. To her, it felt like Gravis had heard something that shattered his entire worldview. Gravis had the expression of someone that didn't know what they should believe anymore.

However, that didn't conform to Stella's image of Gravis in her mind. Gravis had seemed like a person that logically categorized all the concepts he came into contact with. So, what was going on?

Gravis sighed and looked to the moon.

'I have no fucking idea what I should do.'

'Everything's a mess.'