Chapter 355: Emptiness (1/2)

Gravis felt like time stopped. Heaven had created his mother? What did this mean? Why? ”You're a Heavenborn?” Gravis asked in shock.

His mother tapped her chin. ”You could call me that,” she said nonchalantly like it wasn't a big deal. ”Heaven created me to be as compatible with your father as possible. In the beginning, your father wasn't very thrilled with me. He just thought that this was another one of Heaven's schemes.”

Gravis couldn't wrap his head around this fact. So many moral conflicts and implications appeared with that fact. ”Were you also created to love him?” he asked, fearing the answer.

His mother nodded. ”Of course. We were perfectly compatible with each other. So, I quickly fell in love with your father.”

This was the answer that Gravis feared. The fact that his parents didn't meet or fall in love naturally made a lump appear inside his chest. This didn't feel like love. It felt more artificial than that. ”And you never questioned these feelings, fearing that they have been instilled by someone else?”

”Oh, I did, trust me on that,” his mother said. ”I was unhappy, angry, and hated my life. It didn't feel like I was my own person. It felt more like I was a tool that had been created just to please someone else. I hated that feeling,” she said.

”I stayed like that for a long time and mostly spent my time with the mortals. I have built a lot of relationships with them, but I always felt sad when they died of old age. In the beginning, our times together felt like an eternity, but as more time passed, their lives just seemed to become shorter and shorter.”

”Back then, your father and I talked a lot. He was the only constant in my life. On top of that, I just didn't feel any love for any other man or woman. They all felt so fragile and distant. It was like we were living in different worlds.”

”After a long time of talking, we became closer. Just like today, he always seemed to be busy with something and just sat inside his room, frowning all the time. His demeanor might not seem different from today, but I felt the difference. It felt like your father was lost,” she said.

Gravis gulped again. ”And even though Heaven created you to fall in love with each other, you just went along with it?” Gravis asked.

His mother sighed. ”I guess we both felt lost. I felt isolated from the mortals, and your father felt isolated from everything. Except for Heaven, we were the only two constants. We always were there and stayed the same. I fell into thought for a long time, just thinking about my life, emotions, and life in general.”

”So, after a long time of thinking, I came to a conclusion,” she said.

”Which is?” Gravis asked.

”Emotions are necessary to give life meaning when you have nothing else to strive for,” she said. ”You might believe that you are above such emotions, but your emotions are part of who you are. They drive you forward when you have no goal.”

”Also, the want for freedom is also a kind of emotion. You just place it above any other one. Yet, if that want disappears, you need a backup to fall back on. I think feeling happy is the goal of everyone. Whatever emotion or circumstance creates this happiness is different for everyone, but basically, being happy is everyone's goal.”

”If your dependent emotion for happiness vanishes, you need a different one to give your life meaning. The desire to reach supreme power won't ever be fulfilled for nearly everyone, so, with their goal in mind, they could strive for happiness for their entire lives, but that's because they can never reach it.”

”It's like the saying that one bread can feed you for your entire life, but that's because, without more food, your entire life won't be very long. The desire for power follows everyone until the day they die because they will never reach supreme power.”

His mother smiled, ”but you have an actual shot of becoming supremely powerful. Yet, if you bank everything on this one desire, achieving your goal will only leave emptiness behind. In my opinion, betting all their happiness onto supreme power means that they have already committed to never achieving it. After all, if you do reach it, only emptiness or death remains.”

Gravis listened intently, reflecting on his own desires.

”I realized these things back then. So, I decided that I wanted to be happy. I loved your father, and even though these desires might appear artificial, I'll follow them. I don't want to die or live an empty life. It felt like I lost to Heaven's schemes, but so what? Losing isn't so bad. You can learn a lot of things by losing something,” she explained.

Gravis actually admired his mother. It surely wasn't easy to give in to what Heaven wanted. Gravis felt like he wouldn't be able to do that. Something inside of him just didn't want to give Heaven any victory, no matter how small it was.