42 Chapter 40 - Crimson Blood Kingdom 2 (1/2)
I walked so fast that I haven't noticed how many years have past since I've last visited this courtyard. My mother died because my father cannot protect her from herself. My mother never wanted to marry my father but the fixed marriage between the two was planned by the elders. If my mother break the engagement she and her family will perish in public. So my mother was forced into marrying my father.
Now that the tradition is passed to me I cannot say anything at all. My father arranged a marriage for me, for sure a week from now we will go to the Qin's manor and ensure the arrangements of the marriage. But how can I force a woman to marry a man she has never known? What's worst is that I don't have the ability to love a woman. How can she agree to a marriage that was set without her permission? How can she agree marrying into a loveless marriage?
How will she bear to marry me?
And what if she already has a lover?
I don't want to turn someone into a crazy woman and I don't want someone to follow the path that my mother has walked through.
This kingdom has so many enemies, so how will I put her into the highest seat of safety? How will care blossom in my heart? My father trained me to be a heartless person.
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”You worry too much”
”Lord Pegasus?”
”I said you worry too much, don't worry she is different.”
”But--”
”Do not worry, she has answers to your greatest fears. Just go with the flow of fate, let it take you to unexpected adventures. Planning too much will lead you to failure, look we can never control time nor feelings. I have seen this girl grow, and she is different”
”But I am--”
”You are who you are, as I say we don't control everything. So we cannot have a final say with feelings or acceptance. She is a woman of a different kind, she will understand”