Part 47 (1/2)

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Nick yelled out the window, ”I'm coming!”

”You'd better go,” I told him. ”You don't want to get in trouble.”

We got out of the car and I opened the trunk again. Nick grabbed his bag out of the trunk and started to walk away from me. I slammed the trunk shut. At the sound of the trunk closing, Nick jolted back towards me. Before I could get back inside the car, Nick's arms were already around my neck. He was constricting me again.

”Please be careful!” he cried.

”Nick,” I called out to him. ”I'll be fine. I am coming to get you and Alison right after my doctor's appointment. Don't worry.”

”I'll call Mom if you don't,” he threatened as he pulled away.

”That's fair,” I said. ”I'll see you later.”

Nick backed away from me. He walked backwards towards the entrance of the Recreation Center where Alison impatiently waited for him. I got back inside the car. After I closed the door and started up the car, I noticed Nick was still standing by the curb. Alison had left him behind. He looked worried and sad to see me go.

I was happy inside to know that he was free of that painful guilt that Jack had burdened us with. I saw Nick with true bravery written all over his mature and handsome face. Before I drove off, I pulled up beside him and told him that I loved him.

Nick smiled at me lovingly. His large, brown eyes were s.h.i.+ning.

He said, ”Kristen, you are my hero.”

CHAPTER 61.

Dr. Pelchat seemed glad to see me. He greeted me with a jolly smile and a gripping handshake. When I was settled into a chair in his office, he began.

”Happy birthday, Kristen. Do you want some cake? I can have Geoffrey bring you a slice from the cafeteria.”

I giggled and said, ”No, thanks.”

”Okay. How are you doing today?” he kindly asked.

”I'm here,” I told him.

He responded, ”What does that mean? Is that good or bad?”

”I guess a little bit of both. It's good that I'm here.”

”Right, but what's bad about it?”

I pulled out the envelope that held the card from Jack, along with the twenty-dollar bill. Dr. Pelchat stayed quiet and waited for me to explain what it was. I took a deep breath, pulled the card out of the envelope, and reached out to give it to him. He took it out of my hand.

”What is this? A birthday card?”

”It's a birthday card from my ex-step-dad,” I said.

”What does it say?”

”It doesn't say anything. It's a birthday card.”

Dr. Pelchat studied the card. He smiled at the ill.u.s.trations and laughed a little. He turned the pages of the inserts until he got to the last one. His smile disappeared.

”It does say something. Did you read this?”

”No,” I admitted. ”I don't want to.”

Dr. Pelchat reached out and put the card back in my hand.

”Read it,” he said.

”I don't think that I can,” I said as I felt the tears trying to form.

”You don't have to,” he said. ”But I encourage you to.”

”Why? What will it accomplish? What's done is done. Right? I can't forgive him. I can't just accept this stupid card like it's going to make up for everything that happened. I can't!”

”Cope,” he said.

”What?”

”Cope,” he repeated. ”What happened can't be changed. But you have to learn to cope. You have to face these things in order to cope. You can't keep doing what your mother has forced you to do all of these years. You can't push it to the back of your mind and hope that it will one day disappear. Pus.h.i.+ng it back further until you break will ultimately cause your breakdown and can even cause physical anguish. Let's break you from the pattern you've gotten used to right now! Read it! Face it!”

”You want me to read it now?”

”Yes!” he exclaimed. ”There's no better time!”

I opened the card to the last insert. I was taking to heart what Dr. Pelchat had said. I began to read aloud.

”'Dear Kristen, 'I'm sitting here thinking about how much you must have grown. I can't believe that you are already eighteen years old. It seems like time has pa.s.sed by, and now my baby girl is all grown up. Since you are an adult now, I expect you are going to be in college soon. Kristen, I am very sorry for what I did to our family.'”

Chunks of bile started to rise to my chest. It felt like I was going to throw up right there in Dr. Pelchat's office. Tears welled up in my eyes and already began to fall. I hadn't gotten finished reading, and I felt like I was going to lose what little control I had. I kept on reading even though my body felt like it couldn't take any more.

”'Now you are eighteen, and I have missed the most important events of your life. I wish that I could have been there for your all of your birthdays up until today. I wish that I could have been there to help you buy your first car and to teach you how to drive it. I wish I could have been there for your senior prom. And most importantly, I wish I could have been there for your first kiss. I am sorry that I wasn't there for all of those wonderful events that have come and gone.'”

I wanted to throw the card to the floor and stomp on it until it disappeared. But I held on to the card. There were only a few more sentences to go. I knew that Dr. Pelchat could see that I was upset. It was more than obvious, but he was counting on me to finish reading it.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened my eyes, more teardrops fell from my eyelashes. I continued reading through my cloudy vision.

”'I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart. I hope to see you at the parole hearing. I want to see my little girl. I love you. Your dad, Jack.'”

I couldn't resist it any longer. I threw the card to the floor and I kicked it. I buried my face in my hands and cried aloud. Dr. Pelchat let me cry and didn't say a word. He handed me a tissue when I finally raised my head. I blew my nose.

Dr. Pelchat said, ”It's okay to cry. I know that this is upsetting. It is okay for you to be upset.”

”Is it okay to hate him so much?” I asked.