Chapter 23 (1/2)
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A Battle Of Wit And Courage
Now that he was crammed between two burly men, Li Chengfeng had no choice but to yield and swear that he wasn't going to escape. This time, he was actually a little mad. These two were no ordinary people, they were experienced fighters who could even trap him like a sandwich… It was going to be impossible to slip away without putting up an intense fight.
Li Chengfeng regarded them from head to toe. “Are you two… new?”
The muscular man on the left grinned and nodded.
“My mother brought you two here?”
A timid sound came from nearby. It was Zhao Xiaobao.
He had hidden behind a tree so he carefully peeked his head out. “Young master, Madam bought three strong servants recently!”
Li Chengfeng did not turn to look at him, merely huffed, “Shut up!”
Zhao Xiaobao retracted his head. “Okay…”
Chengfeng thought to himself, 'If Mother was the one who bought them, then I definitely cannot put up a violent fight. I'll have to beat them with my mind.'
He thought for a moment. “My mother is the Madam but she sometimes listens to me too. And so, that's why you must listen to me. Do you understand what I'm saying?”
The strong man grinned. “No, I don't.”
He raged, “Are you dumb?!”
The strong man's grin widened. “Eh! How did you know? Mother calls me Two Dumb.”
Li Chengfeng's heart sank. Were they really stupid? Or was it just an act? He turned to the other strong man. “Hey, you! Your name is…”
The other strong man turned around and grinned the same stupid grin. Li Chengfeng had the sudden realisation: oh my goodness, this idiot's grin is the same as Two Dumb's!
Li Chengfeng didn't know to cry or laugh. “Wait, wait! I know! You must be Big Dumb then!”
The man chuckled. “You're wrong!”
He was delighted to hear this. “You're not Big Dumb? Oh, you're not stupid… Come help me…”
The strong man let out a hearty guffaw, “I am Three Dumb!”
“…”
Three Dumb grinned at Two Dumb and said, “Second Brother, you were wrong so you'd better pay up!”
Two Dumb fished out a few coppers unwillingly and handed it to him. “Here… One, two, three, four…”
Li Chengfeng had some hope. “Eh? Y'all know how to gamble, I know you're not that stupid! Not bad for an act though!”
Two Dumb said, “That's a game our mother taught us to play! When one person is wrong, he has to pay up.” He then continued to count his coppers, “Four, four, four…”
Once again, Chengfeng wasn't sure to laugh or cry so he said, “Wait, wait, that's not right! Why do you keep saying 'four'? What about five, six, seven and eight?”
Two Dumb looked at him blankly. “Huh? I can only count till four…” He turned around and continued handing more copper coins to Three Dumb and counted carefully, “Four, four, four, four…”
Three Dumb counted with the same intensity, “Four, four, four, four… Second Brother, you'd better not give me a copper less! We agreed on eight coppers!”
Two Dumb nodded solemnly. “Yeah, I won't miss any! Four, four, four…”
Chengfeng had a mental breakdown. “What the h*ll is this?! You'll never get to eight if you count like this! Hey, you, stop counting! If you're Two Dumb, and he's Three Dumb, where's Big Dumb?”
They turned to look behind Li Chengfeng. Stunned, he turned to see a big man sitting on the roof with a stupid grin on his face.
Chengfeng could not even get himself mad when he saw such a stupid grin. Dejected, he sighed, “Alright, I see there's one up there. You all win this time!”
But he was only sad for one moment, for he had a new idea. “What about this- you all let me go out for a while- I just need to pee. I'll go pee, and then I'll give you all ten silvers! What do you think? They're silver pieces, ya know? Have you seen silver pieces before?”
Two Dumb and Three Dumb looked at each other and smiled. “Alright! Pay us the ten silvers first!”
Li Chengfeng patted himself down but realised he did not have a single coin on him. All he could do was give them his scented cloth bag that was embroidered with golden thread. “Here, this is a top-grade scented cloth bag, you won't be able to buy this anywhere! It'll cover the payment, what do you think?”
The two men looked at each other and turned to Big Dumb. Two Dumb asked, “Big Brother, what is this?”
Big Dumb: “Are you dumb, don't you know what that is? Isn't this the handkerchief that Old Zhang's daughter uses to wipe her nose?”
Li Chengfeng: “Huh?”
Two Dumb: “Oh, right, right! Looks like it! But it's so small, how do we use this?”
Li Chengfeng: “HUH?!”
Three Dumb: “Are you dumb? Can't you just rip the thread off? Then it'll work!”
Li Chengfeng: “…”
Big Dumb: “Rubbis.h.!.+ You're both idiots! This is meant to be rammed up your nose to wipe the mucus out!”
Two and Three Dumb clapped and grinned. “Right! Big Brother, you're right! You're so smart!”
Li Chengfeng was dumbfounded as he stood in silence. He suddenly yelled in Zhao Xiaobao's direction. “Zhao Xiaobao, did you f*cking tell my mother about what happened at Zhixi's place?!”
Xiaobao did not even dare peek his head out. Almost in tears, he yelled, “Everyone will know sooner or later, Young master!”
Li Chengfeng was furious. “Zhao Xiaobao, I'll kill you!”
He swore he had not met anyone he hated as much as these three idiots! These three stupid, dumb and disgusting idiots!
Since he could not talk to them, beat them in a fight or slip away, within two days, Li Chengfeng had completely gone into a mental breakdown. He lay on his bed and stared into s.p.a.ce, his eyes as hopeless as a dead dog's and watched the three brothers hugging a giant wooden bucket each. They were busy stuffing rice into their mouths.
He wailed, “Mother, where did you find these rice buckets from?! They'll bankrupt our family!”
“Young master, they were sold by the martial arts academy because the inst.i.tute couldn't afford to maintain their appet.i.tes.”