42 One Small Dose Of Revenge (1/2)

Li Xiuying had gone to hell and back in those 48 hours and the rest of her days were soul numbing.

No one even noticed Li Xiuying's suffering, or if they did they just didn't care. She tried to reach out to her family on multiple occasions; she just needed someone to listen. The Li family became increasingly irritated at Li Xiuying's ”constant pestering behaviour”, as they dismissively named it.

”Li Xiuying's how can you be so selfish? You're cousin just got engaged and we have a wedding to plan.”

”Little Xiuying, did big sister do anything to you? Are you not happy for big sister?”

”Li Xiuying, why don't you just get over it? It's been months already, you need to start working again.”

”Yes, yes my dear niece. If you go back to work it will help take your mind off of everything and you can also help towards Yu Yan's wedding.”

Li Xiuying also booked a therapy session, she needed some counselling. If her own family weren't going to help her then she would turn to a stranger.

On the day she was going to go to the session, Li Wang had found out. He stood in front door and forbade her from leaving their home and especially from seeing the therapist. Li Xiuying tried to reason with him, she tried to explain that she needed help in order to recover but he was having none of it. Li Wang told her that she can't trust people outside of her family. That outsiders would probably sell her story to the media then everyone would know what happened to her. They would all look at her and judge her. She would never be able to live it down.

So Li Xiuying trudged back up to her room; a dark prison of isolation and loneliness.

Li Wang made it seem like it was for the sake of Li Xiuying's reputation but in actuality it was to save the Li family. What if the therapist encouraged her to talk to the police? Or put other ideas in Li Xiuying's head?

Li Xiuying finally realized that she truly only had herself to rely on. She was alone.

She had to protect herself as best as she could, she had to avoid anything that reminded her of her ordeal. So she never allowed people to touch her again. It made her skin crawl and would give her flashbacks of those 48 hours. She always had to wear gloves and, polar necks, scarves, trousers, socks so her skin was always covered.

Li Xiuying just about tolerated doing examinations on people, because she had control in those situations and it was purely medical, there was nothing remotely personal about it. Li Xiuying also made sure that when she was conducting an examination there was always a chaperone present.

Li Xiuying started avoiding forming any sort of relationships with people be that of a platonic or romantic in nature; they would just let her down anyway. Her life became her work and her work became her life.

...

The rest of Li Xiuying's life; the mere 8 years before her death were like a black hole continuously sucking away at the small remaining shards of her heart and soul. Even after going through all of that, it was only on the day of her death that she truly looked into the face of evil.