59 Epilogue - Part 1 (1/2)
Maybe I can get used to this after all.
In stark contrast to my initial impression of high school, I find myself feeling surprisingly confident about the next few years.
Sure, high school feels like an intimidating experience at first.
Getting tossed into an unfamiliar place while dealing with the new, surreal experiences that come with puberty isn't something a lot of kids can deal with.
It's kind of a sink-or-swim social environment.
With all the sudden changes going through a teenager's body at that age, it's almost certainly going to be uncomfortable.
We all have the desire to become our own person.
To acquire social status.
To make romantic advances toward the person we're interested in.
But really, because of how new and challenging all these things are, only the strong-willed and the confident can stand tall in that kind of environment.
For everyone else, it's a battle against yourself.
Against your pride, your anxiety.
And even against your own hormones.
”Your pot roast really is the best, Chase. Gotta admit, this is one of the main reasons I keep coming over to your place.”
”Thanks. I'm glad everyone seems to enjoy it so much.”
Rachael, the woman sitting at the dining table munching down on the dinner I prepared, is proof of that.
She's been something like a mentor for me these past few years ever since I was thrown into this predicament of a living situation. In fact, you could call her the only adult who's truly cared for me ever since then.
At my age, it's hard to not look up to someone like her as a role model or a hero.
Having her around to help me deal with the sudden weight of my responsibilities has been comforting in ways that I can't even begin to explain.
But as I started experiencing the changes of puberty, her attractive figure made that seemingly innocent relationship into something else.
Yeah, I did have a crush on her.
I couldn't admit it to myself let alone Chloe or Scarlet, but I really did like her a lot.
In fact, I've probably fantasized about her during our usual conversations more times than I could ever care to admit out loud.
It's the same kind of depraved mindset that the boys in my class probably had whenever they saw Jennifer Swift.
That insatiable teenage lust that bubbled beneath our still-childish exteriors.
Was I really in the place to judge them for looking at her that way? Even I couldn't help but ogle Jennifer whenever she came into view.
But now, all of that is over.
I don't care about Jennifer or Rachael anymore.
Not like that, anyway.
Chase Masters is now a man with a girlfriend.
My eyes are only meant to ogle one person.
Wait, uh… that came out wrong.
My eyes are only meant for one person.
It's the girl I love, Scarlet Sterling.
The fears I once had coming into high school are now all gone.
Because now, I have a place I can call home.
Once I finished washing the dishes, I slumped into one of the chairs at the dining table right next to Rachael with a cup of water in hand.
The scent of the pot roast is drowning out the usual smell of rotting wood that normally pervades the living room.
Really, I never remember how much of a dump this place truly is until she comes over to visit.
The dining room, the kitchen and the living room are all cramped into this tiny 10 square-meter room.
”…”
It's been two weeks since the elections.
Rachael decided that since both of us had today off from work, she'd stop by early for a bite.
Well, that was her excuse anyway.
”Hey Chase, why don't you open that package?”
”Package?”
Sure enough, there's a small rectangular box just sitting on the table.
”What is it?”
”Don't be so cautious. You have my permission.”
”…”
Well, when you put it like that…
There's no reason not to, right?
I plow through the packaging and open the box.
”…”
”Wait, what is this?”
”It's yours.”
”Mine, but it's…”
A cell phone.
An expensive-looking one too.
”Why?”
This is way too much for me.
You shouldn't have…
”Eh, I got in on sale. You deserve it for the work you put in during the elections.”
”No way Rach', I can't accept this.”
Even if it was on sale, I can't even begin to imagine how expensive this must have been.
”Don't worry. More importantly, you're going out with Scarlet now, right? You'll need it to keep in contact with her.”
”…”
I can't deny that.
She did seem a bit disappointed that we couldn't exchange text messages.
”I don't know how to thank you. Really…”
”Dummy, I don't need your thanks. I'm only doing this because I care.”
”It's just that… I don't think I deserve it. You're giving this to me for doing well in the elections, right? Well if you think about it, Nick and I were kind of the bad guys back there. We resorted to things like violence and sexualizing Jennifer…”
Why would you reward us for such a cheap victory? If anything I deserve to be scolded for it.
”True, that was pretty dirty of you two. But let me ask you this: do you think you would have won if you did things normally?”
”… No. We couldn't win normally the moment those rumors got out of hand.”
”Mhm, you're right. You couldn't. She came at your throat with those rumors and you had to respond in kind. And that, my dear Chase, is the essence of politics. If both candidates play fair, then it's fine. You two can enjoy an honest race to see who can win the most votes. However, the moment your opponent plays dirty, you really have no choice but to resort to more underhanded tactics to catch up in the race.”
”…”
She's right.
If we were to do things fairly, it'd probably take weeks to restore my reputation to the point where I could confidently match her fairly. And even then, I don't know if I'd get even a third of the votes that she would.
And all it would take to destroy those weeks of effort is one more rumor.
It's unfair.
Politics really is just bunch of horse shit.
”You were both wrong, and I wouldn't let either of you off by saying you aren't. But you did what had to be done for the sake of what you believe in. And most of all, you condemned his actions in front of everyone else for the sake of being a positive role model. As a public figure, one of the hardest things you can do is to swallow your pride and denounce an action that you believed in. I'm proud of you for it, truly.”
Saying those words, she stretches her arm out to gently strokes my hair.
If I was the same person from two weeks ago, this simple act would make me feel some other, more depraved emotion.
But now, all I feel is the pride of being praised by the woman I look up to, and the joy of being accepted by her as I am.
Though, for the first time, I can't help but doubt her words deep down.
Rachael is still just another human being.
And just as my feelings for her were beginning to fade away, so was my unfounded confidence that she was always right.
Maybe, maybe I shouldn't be this proud about our victory.
There's usually some kind of downside when you win like this, right?
Like, I might have made an enemy of some feminists in our school.
”…”
No, that's too scary to think about. I'll pass.
”So, what happened after? How are things with your girlfriend?”
”Uh… yeah, about that. How did you know she, uh…”
”Felt that way about you?”
”Yeah. I've known her way longer than you have, but you could figure something like that out after only one glance…”
She giggles.
”Well, that's because she told me silly.”
”W-what? When?!”
”When she came into work looking for you. That was when I heard about how she'd been following you from the train through the city. Your friends were there too.”
So that's how they knew…
They made it seem like they were such geniuses for figuring it out before I did!
Rachael grins as she takes another bite from her food.
”Well, to begin with, judging by your story I think she probably liked you way before then though.”
”Huh? She did?”