36 Drafted - A tale from the pas (2/2)

She seemed genuinely displeased by that question.

”Who cares about that? Guys are just arm accessories. I hate both them and their stupid personalities. They only care about sex without exception. All men are trash, Scarlet. You'd better remember that.”

Her words were so loud that I found myself cringing and looking around the room for any sign of glares from the guys in the class room.

But strangely enough, I couldn't find anyone giving us the stink eye.

In fact, there were more guys sneaking longing glances at her than anything.

It felt almost like…

Like she was being worshiped by the boys in this class.

”Haha, I see…”

”Wait, what we were talking about? Oh, right. Hobbies!”

I tensed up in surprise.

I had completely forgotten that her question was originally intended for me.

”A-ah, um…”

I did have a few hobbies I could mention, but it felt embarrassing to open up about them to someone I'd never met before today, let alone someone like her.

Regardless, I had to at least try. It was my shot at popularity so I had to take it.

”W-well, I do watch movies frequently. I absolutely adore old films from the 90s like Diehard, Rush Hour and The Matrix. Tarantino movies are classics too! I mean, I could watch Kill Bill and Pulp Fiction on repeat all day! Oh, I don't exclusively fangirl over movies though. TV shows are enjoyable too. In particular-”

”Stop.”

”H-huh?”

Her voice was like a bullet through my chest.

In the middle of opening up about the things I felt so passionately for, she suddenly shot me down without a moment's hesitation.

”Why do you talk like that?”

”L-like what?”

”Like, with those words. You're not doing a movie-site review. You don't have to act like it. Just talk like a normal high school girl, why don't you?”

”I-I see…”

”Haaa… whatever, this is boring. Let's talk about your taste in guys instead. Go on, surprise me.”

”…”

I still hadn't recovered from the shock of being silenced.

But… I interpreted this this as my chance at redemption.

”I guess… if I had to name a type… have you seen Snow White?”

”Uh, the old Disney movie? Sure, maybe once as a kid.”

”The thing is, my dad is a huge fan of things like that. Like, old animated films and stuff. Back when I was a kid I'd watch them with him all the time, and, I dunno… ever since I saw movies like Snow White and The Little Mermaid, I've always been in love with the idea of one day marrying a prince who would like… come to rescue me if I'm ever in trouble. Stuff like that just sounds so romantic, doesn't it?”

”…”

The more I went on, the more Jen's face turned into a scowl.

I hadn't realized it until I was done speaking, but she looked visibly disturbed by everything I'd said.

As if her boredom after hearing about me ramble on about movies wasn't bad enough…

Hearing what she had to say after that…

Broke my heart.

”You're kind of a stupid bitch, aren't you?”

My world came crashing down in an instant.

It was the second time I had let her into my world, and the second time she tore it down without remorse.

”That's like, no good at all. You have sooo much to learn about guys. Didn't I say it? All men are trash. Rescue you? No, girl. If they do something like that it's only because they're after your body as payment. That's just how it is with them.”

”That's…”

I couldn't find the words to respond.

My world was completely shattered.

I won't deny that it was an optimistic, childish wish. But to have it dismissed so harshly was too much for me.

”Oh you poor thing… Come here.”

She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly.

It was strangely comforting.

No sooner than she'd made me feel worthless with her words by striking me down, she took me into the comfort of her arms for warmth and security.

Looking back on it now, these actions were all calculated.

From the moment I met her, she was slowly attacking the very foundation of my self-esteem in order to rebuild it around her own existence.

From then on, I had become one of the many people who were ensnared in the spell of the girl named Jennifer Swift.

My thoughts, my ideas, my tastes.

Every single one of them slowly began to reflect the girl who I began to idolize as the perfect human being.

Because, as she had made me so painful aware of, Scarlet Sterling herself was nothing.

No, not nothing.

Scarlet Sterling was a stupid bitch.

Jen had said it herself.

And how could I argue against her?

She was the popular one. Surely she knew something that I didn't, right?

That's why I had to mold myself.

Mold myself into the kind of girl that she would respect.

But deep down, these changes to my lifestyle were hurting me more than I'd realized.

My sudden lack of individuality, forcing myself to do the things I didn't want to do, listen to music I didn't like, standing in front of a mirror doing make-up for an hour to make myself prettier…

That lack of freedom was killing me.

I think that's probably why my eyes kept drifting over there.

To the back of that classroom.

To the boy who was always half-asleep.

I envied his freedom.

I envied how little he seemed to care about the world around him.

I envied how he could hang out with those geeks.

Those obnoxious losers.

He did it so carelessly.

Without worrying about his reputation or being ridiculed by others.

While I was slowly becoming wrapped up in the superficial world of the popular, constantly honing and refining my own image, attitude and opinions, he could just sit there with those two and act as he pleased without caring about the consequences.

I envied it.

Deep down, I envied it so much that I wanted to die.

And that's why I decided to…