29 Estranged - Prologue (2/2)
Fake.
An image, an illusion.
Everything about Scarlet Sterling that I'd known before she had spoken to me was just a carefully painted picture.
If I'd never gotten to know the real her, then perhaps I could have gone on admiring that picture alongside everyone else.
But now it's all ruined.
She's rambunctious, crude, and even bit narcissistic.
To learn that such a sweet girl could be so obsessed with her image like that is just a bit disappointing.
It's not that I respect her less for it, but I suppose… I was intrigued by the idea of Scarlet Sterling rather than the actual girl. Once I'd gotten to know her for who she was, the 'image' crumbled along with those feelings of intrigue.
Perhaps I'm just trying to console myself over the fact that we may never speak again, but…
I can't help but feel like it's probably for the best that she ended it.
She just isn't the girl I thought she was.
”Y'know…”
Taking my silence as permission to finally respond, Rachael finally releases my neck and speaks up.
”It's not that I don't get where you're coming from, but I think you're looking at all of this the wrong way.”
”The wrong… way?”
”Everyone works hard to maintain their image. That's just the kind of superficial world we as people live in these days. It's all about how well you present yourself while hiding the bad parts. I mean, you should know about that right? You didn't even tell them you were working part-time at Smooters. You had a superficial reason for that too, right?”
”I, I guess, but…”
”Look, I don't know how you feel about her right now, and I don't really know why she decided to dump you either. But I think you should at least think things over before you just go on accepting this break up as is.”
”… What's there to think about? I can't just tell her not to dump me.”
”God, guys are such idiots.”
”…”
”Chase, why do you think she showed so much weakness to you? Why do you think she broke away from the image she tried so hard to maintain only in front of you?”
It's because I'm just a loser to her, isn't it? I'm just someone convenient that she could take advantage of. But when I got beat up rescuing her from Jack, it changed. She started pitying me. Me, the guy she tried taking advantage of to begin with. If that isn't pathetic, then what is?
”Isn't it because I'm just convenient for her status?”
”Idiot. No, try again.”
”Because I'm not worth hiding anything from?”
”Idiot. Try again.”
”Because she pitied me?”
”Idiot. Again.”
”Quit calling me an idiot, dude. I'm not used to hearing jokes like that from you.”
”I'm calling you an idiot because you don't even realize how much she cares about you.”
Badump.
I barely caught it.
My heart skipped a beat and almost left for some fantasical world without me, but I barely caught it.
How much she cares? Don't be ridiculous. How did Rachael ever get that misguided impression of her?
”That's not a very good joke. I mean, you don't even know her, how could you say that so casually without any proof?”
”Just think about it for a second. You said it was all hard work and resilience, right? Would you really risk losing everything you've worked so hard to build up over some convenient guy you were using to build your reputation with?”
”Uh, that is a bit weird, but... I kinda figured she just didn't think it through enough.”
”And that's why you're an idiot. Such a calculating girl wouldn't just 'not think it through enough'. Hiding her weaknesses should be second nature to her, right? She wouldn't risk revealing them to just anyone.”
Come to think of it, she's right. She never really spoke about her anxiety around guys to just anyone. Jennifer aside, not even Momo seemed to have any idea about it. And yet she just casually brought it up the first time we spoke.
”S-so what are you saying? She thinks I'm trustworthy?”
”Idiot. Try again.”
”…”
”Nevermind, we're almost at the metro station so I'll just say it.”
She sighs.
”Chase, that girl is in love with you.”