25 Bonds - Part 5 (1/2)

It didn't take me long to find the arcade.

I don't usually come through this part of the mall, but luckily it wasn't too far off from the bookstore. I wish he'd been a bit more specific with his directions, but I guess I can't complain too much since I didn't use the map like he suggested.

Oh well.

The moment I enter, I'm greeted by the electronic sounds that one would come to expect from one of these places. Judging by the graphics, though there are some more modern 1v1 games scattered about, this arcade is home to mostly retro games. Donkey Kong, Pacman, even iconic names that I've heard of are playable at this arcade. There are also a few ice hockey tables and toy cranes here and there, but I highly doubt that my target would be at any of these.

I carefully look around before moving through the arcade in search of the boy known as Nicholas Albert. Arcades might sound like a terrifying spot for someone with androphobia at first, but the fact that most of the guys here are at least a bit nerdy puts my mind at relative ease. In any case, I managed to find him without much effort after searching around for a minute.

His back is hunched over what appears to be one of the retro 1v1 fighting game machines. He's pressing the buttons as hard as he can, but it doesn't seem like things are going well for him. The character on the left side of the screen is throwing out haphazard attacks that appear to have no thought put into them. The character on the right is ready for every single one of them though, and counters through each flurry with ease.

Judging by his posture, it's safe to say at this point that Nicholas isn't properly looking at the screen. He's just hitting buttons at random and hoping that his character can win.

”SHIT!”

He slams both fists down onto the machine in frustration, but it's already too late.

He has lost, and the game prompts him to continue as a timer counts down on the screen.

”…”

I can't approach him.

The atmosphere is too tense. I still have no idea what he's thinking right now. The fact that I'm even remotely sorry after the way he treated me feels unfair, so deep down I'm still a bit stubborn about this.

But still, there's more important things than my pride at stake right now.

”Nicholas.”

”Get out.”

Harsh rejection.

He must have noticed me, because there wasn't any hesitation in his voice.

”Listen, I…”

”I said get out.”

”…”

He must really want nothing to do with me after what I said to him, huh?

But I suppose it's only fair. I did go a little overboard earlier.

That suits me fine, though. The truth is, as much as I would have loved to learn the truth, I didn't really want to make up with him either. There's nothing left for either of us to say. At the end of the day, he's a grade A misogynist.

No matter what happens between us, no matter what I say to him here, that fact probably won't change. As much as I would love to get an answer from Sigmund, I just don't see myself making up with this person.

It's not so much that I hate him or anything, I just dislike being hated for something I have no control over. I try every day to love and accept myself as who I am, so why should he, someone who knows absolutely nothing about me, shame me for something as trivial as my sex?

There's nothing fair about that.

It's like hating the sky for being blue.

Like hating trees for bearing fruit.

Like hating flowers for blossoming in spring.

Like hating bees for making honey.

Like hating fish for swimming in water.

Like hating people for wanting to be accepted.

Nothing about the fact that half of the human population is female can be helped. Hell, you had a good shot at being female yourself. So why on earth would you shame me for something like that? The more I think about it, the more it upsets me.

I'll probably explode again if I stay here, so it might be for the best if I just leave right now.

But.

As I turn around, I find myself unable to take a single step forward.

And that's because there are two guys about my age are standing right in front of me, staring right down at my face.

And the worst part is that neither of them look very nerdy at all. In fact, they're pretty damn good looking.

”Oh hey, I don't see girls this cute around here very often. This your first time at the arcade?”

One of them immediately ropes me into a conversation, verbally blocking off any and all exit routes.

”A-ah, ummm…”

My heart suddenly races, and with it, my body begins to tremble.

I can't look either of them in the eyes.

All I can do is stammer out words and hope that both they both grow bored and leave me alone.

”Hey, don't be shy. Here, my friend is pretty good at the toy crane over there. Is there anything you want in there?”

”Don't put me on the spot like that, man…”

The other kid blushes.

If I were an ordinary girl, there's no doubt that I'd be enjoying this kind of situation. Two cute boys hitting on you at the mall? I mean, who wouldn't want to just let loose and enjoy something normal like that?

But right now, I kind of just want to run away.

It's easier to deal with this stuff if my mom or Jen are around. For some reason, that boost in confidence when someone you like is by your side makes it easy enough to stand your ground, even when you're scared.

But when I'm alone like this…

I bite my lip.

”I, um…”

”Hmm? What's wrong?”

I want to run away.

I want to, but…

My legs are frozen.

All the blood in my body has been completely cold for a while now. And the hopelessness of such a normal situation makes me feel completely worthless.

I hate this so much.

I hate this, I hate this.

Please get me out.

Please…

Chase…

”She has a boyfriend.”

A voice intrudes in on the conversation from behind me.

Strength returns to my body one more time, and I find myself turning around.

It's just like last week. My knight in shining armor.

Did he make it here to save me again? Is he here?

Did you come back to save me, Chase?

”…”

But when I turn around, all I see is the same boy from before.

Nicholas Albert has turned to face the three of us.

”Geh, it's this dweeb.”

”You're dating this chick? What the hell is wrong with her taste?”

”Not me, idiots. Ugh, whatever. Just do yourselves a favor and piss off already. I'm not in the mood for this right now.”

”…”

”…”

Perhaps it's because they really did sense his bad mood, but neither of them seemed to want to argue back.

They both click their tongues and leave without giving much trouble.

And just like that, Nicholas Albert suddenly saves the day.

I close my eyes and exhale.

The adrenaline is still inside of my body, so it takes a little while until my jitters calms down.

Still though, as grateful as I am about that, it's also strangely conflicting.

If he hates me so much then why would he bother going so far to help me? It's not like he knows about my androphobia though… Either way, I am quite grateful so I suppose the least I could do is thank him

”Um…”

”Save it, I didn't do it for you.”

”…”

And just like that, every ounce of gratitude I managed to scrape up disappears with the wind.

”Yeah of course not, why would someone like you do something genuinely good from the bottom of your heart? Haaaa… Sorry, I guess was just an idiot to think you were a good person.”

”You really don't understand anything, do you?”

”Yeah? Like what? You're going to say you did it for Chase, right? Because I'm just a thot who would go around flirting with other guys behind his back, right?”

”Damn right you are. Glad we're on the same page. It's in a woman's blood to ruin good men.”

”That's unfair! You're such a little..!!”

Before I realized what I was doing, it was already too late.

I had already swung my hand, and his neck had already snapped to the side.

The sound of flesh meeting flesh had woken me up to the reality of what I had done.

My anger got the best of me, and I resorted to violence.

I've made a grave mistake.

No matter what happens, I shouldn't resort to hitting him so forcefully like that.

My parents raised me better than that.

This is way more than just shameful.

”U-um, I…”

”Haha… That's what's really unfair.”

He slumps back against one of the nearby machines and rubs his cheek.

”If I had hit you back then, I'd be the worst human imaginable. It's not like I didn't want to either. But I considered myself above violence, especially against women. That's beyond fucked up even for someone like me. Yet look, you're allowed to just lose yourself in the moment and hit me without any repercussions. Just because you're a girl.”

”That's…”

Of course I know.

Even I know it's unfair.

To wish for equality just before abusing the current situation of inequality to get away with whatever I can. That's obviously what it looks like right now.

”I'm sorry.”

”…”

He doesn't seem to take my apology to heart.

And I don't blame him.

As much as he's been a huge jerk all day, the fact that I followed through and acted the same way makes me a pretty bad person too.

Maybe I'm wrong for sympathizing with someone like him. But I can't help it.

At the end of the day, he's human too, so of course I'll feel sorry for him. Just because I can't tolerate his views doesn't mean that he deserves no sympathy. He's just a misguided kid.

For a while, there's just awkward silence between us as I'm forced to face the reality of what I'd done.

Neither of us speaks up.

It would be rude of me to just leave when he looks so distraught, but just what should I say to him after that?

What can I say?

”Nicholas, I…”

I try to put my feelings aside, but I can't do it.

I still can't help but find myself despising his attitude. There's not a single part of me that wants to help him despite what I'd just done.

But still…

”…”

”You know, I wasn't always like this.”

I shift nervously as he suddenly speaks up.

”Of course I wasn't. No one's born into this world as such a bitter jerk. I wasn't born thinking hey, screw women and screw normies. Even I know that from an outside perspective, my way of thinking seems more than just warped. But… BUT…

He slams his fist into the machine behind him.

”THIS IS JUST HOW IT HAS TO BE, OKAY?!”