15 Truth - Part 2 (2/2)
And yet still, I found myself worrying about Momoka. Because while Ryan had definitely been the victim in this situation, the severity of her actions had probably awakened something even worse than herself.
”Sig, this isn't good. You have to help her out.”
I turned toward my friend who was frozen stiff from hearing that.
Ryan's threat had clearly shocked him far more than I could have imagined.
His downcast eyes refused to turn my way, even as I offered him an excuse to speak to the girl of his dreams.
”Umm, Sig? This is your chance to be her knight in shining armor.”
”… I can't.”
”You can't?”
”…”
He couldn't respond.
Defeated. Before anything could happen, before he even took a single step forward, his entire will to push on had been spirited out of his body.
”I-I mean look, homeroom is starting in a few minutes right? He can't do anything to her right now.”
”Sig, the school day lasts seven hours. She won't be able to avoid him forever if you don't warn her.”
”But…”
But.
And I understood it better than anyone. That defeated look, it made a lot of sense to me. Was it because I had seen so many boys like him since middle school? I'm not sure. But either way, Sig's mindset was already clear to me.
To put it plainly, he was frightened of being rejected.
It's something teens have to deal with at one point or another so long as they continue on their pursuit of romance. But for geeks like Sig, rejection is worse than usual.
It's actually fairly common for them to get reprimanded for liking popular girls. What usually happens is that they'll not only reject the nerdy kids, but they'll also make their heartfelt confession into a topic of gossip within the classroom. It's always the nerdy kid who's on the receiving end of it; as if their desire to be validated is just too amusing to the popular kids. It really feels like geeks are seen as lesser beings in the school environment.
Despite what I saw back there, I don't think Momoka is that kind of girl, but similar situations have occurred this semester so I wouldn't be surprised if they had terrified him.
In any case, one thing's for certain; if he tries to get in contact with her, if he makes advances at her, he'll be opening himself up to rejection from the girl of his dreams.
And that's probably the last thing he wants to deal with.
”… I understand. I just have to warn her, right?”
”I'm sorry.”
I patted his shoulder sternly.
”I'll make sure to put in a good word for you, okay?”
”Thanks man. Let's just head to the classroom.”
”Sure…”
It was a while, but Sig managed to regain himself and we continued on our way.
Once we arrived, he immediately ran off to converse with Nick in their usual obnoxious manner. However that wasn't where I was headed at the time. My eyes carefully scanned the classroom in search of my target.
There.
Over in the same corner as last week, Jennifer and Scarlet sat together while discussing their usual drivel, with Momoka seated next to them quietly reading her book.
”…”
I found it difficult to approach that group.
Not only was I on bad terms with Jennifer, but things between Scarlet and I have been awkward ever since that whole Jack incident. To make matters worse, the girl I actually needed to speak to was a whole different kind of beast who assaulted a male student three years older than her like it was nothing. To be honest she was the most intimidating of the bunch at that moment.
But, I had to do this.
For Sig.
I braced myself and approached the group of three as casually as I could.
”…”
Jennifer pretended to ignore me while continuing her conversation with Scarlet, which was about as much as I expected.
But for a brief moment, Scarlet's eyes met mine.
And in that brief moment, I could sense the same emotion in them as last week.
Pity.
That pity made me feel inferior to her.
More inferior than any of her charming insults could ever manage to make me feel.
The truth is, I've probably been avoiding her all this time because of that look. It probably stung so badly that I'd subconsciously ended up following her lead and avoiding conversation. That might be how I felt seeing her in the past week.
Which is why I decided to ignore her and focus on my current goal.
”Hey.”
I said my greeting aloud.
Not to Scarlet, and certainly not to Jennifer.
But to Momoka Kudo.
Even Jennifer had turned to look at me in surprise. She'd probably assumed I was coming over to talk to Scarlet and was focused on keeping her attention away from me.
But that doesn't really matter to me.
”We need to talk outside. Do you have a minute?”
”…”
She was completely unreceptive and that scared me. I thought she'd been ignoring me.
But it seemed as if she had only wanted to finish off the page first so I decided to wait.
The tension as both Jennifer and Scarlet's gazes drilled into me as I awaited her response felt like a real, physical attack.
For a moment, I thought for sure that I was going to die from the awkwardness.
”Okay, sure. I don't mind.”
But after a good ten seconds had passed, she relieved me of the heavy atmosphere and shut her book close.
”Thanks. It won't be long.”
I waited for her to get on her feet and walked her out to the door, much to the behest of her silenced friends.
Once outside, she leaned against the wall and yawned innocently, as if she hadn't done something completely inhumane mere moments ago.
I felt like there wasn't any point in formalities, so I got to the point by explaining that I saw what happened with her and Ryan back then.
At my words, she looked down at her feet and pondered.
”Ah that. How to put it… Hmmm…”
She placed a finger to her lip as she calmly attempted to find a way to explain herself.
”No, I don't think I owe you an explanation. But I will say I believe that he did deserve it. He deserved much more than that, in fact.”
”…”
No part of what Momoka had just said made any sense to me. He deserved it? For damaging her book? What is she, the Queen of England?
”Why are you looking at me like that? I'm not trying to excuse my actions. I'm fully aware of how wrong I am.”
”That's probably because you aren't even trying to sound apologetic.”
”What, are you telling me I should apologize for being human?”
”… Exactly what part of assaulting someone like that counts as being human?”
”Well, if you don't understand even that much then I doubt you'll ever understand.”
”Try me.”
She stopped playing with her hair to stare into my face. Her eyes carried no real emotion. They were empty, as if she were just going through the motions.
”If you don't express your anger somehow and keep it bottled up all the time, then you're eventually going to become a failure of a human being. That's what I think. A pathetic, emotionally-numbed creature filling the world with negative energy simply because she won't get angry when she needs to. If you look at it like that, then I'm doing the world a favor by getting rid of useless negative energy, aren't I?”
All I could do was wonder what on earth this woman was talking about. Was this a philosophy class?
Not only that, but her logic made no sense. Should we hurt one another whenever there's verbal conflict then?
”If someone wrongs you then you should be allowed to wrong them back as you please. I may be naïve in believing such a thing but, believing in it makes me happier than just going along with everyone's harmful whims.”
”…”
Her way of thinking was definitely wrong.
But just from those words, I was able to understand the kind of girl that Momoka really was.
Honest. Painfully straight-forward. Always shooting to the heart of whatever problem arises. With no regard for what is right, Momoka Kudo only cares about the truth.
If something's bothering her, she'll openly speak out against it. If you're bothering her, she'll let you know without sugarcoating her words. If you wrong her, she'll put you into the ground and force you to grovel at her feet. Everything she does is self-satisfaction with no remorse for those around her.
She's essentially an emotional hedonist.
But knowing that wouldn't do me any good. I was here to deliver Sig's message and warn her about Ryan. So before I strayed too much further away, I decided to inform her about Ryan's last words to her.
”Oh, that so? How chivalrous. You really are Lysander, aren't you?”
”Lysander?”
I wondered if it was a character from one of the novels she always reads, but I figured there was no point in pushing it.
”In any case, please be careful. He sounded completely bent on hurting you.”
She pushed herself off the wall and headed through the classroom doors.
”Thank you for the warning, I'll be sure to avoid him.”
Her words sounded as if she didn't take my warning completely seriously, but I could tell that she was pondering her next actions.
After speaking with her though, I could only come to one conclusion.
She is an enigma.
She may have spoken monotonously while using complicated language, but I could tell that every word that came from her lips was filled with emotion. She truly felt as if she hadn't done anything wrong by hurting him like that. For someone so cool and calculated to strike him down like that, I can't help but wonder what exactly he had done wrong.
But regardless of that—
As things stood, I could tell that the two of us would never get along.