Chapter 167 (1/2)

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167 – Beiming Little Fish

After a long silence, Xihe, who appears to have found the answer, murmured, “… happiness — right, we are pursuing happiness.”

Xihe's eyes are unfocused.

The staunchness adorning her face cannot be driven away, cannot be hidden, as if it was engraved on it. But unexpectedly, it gives off a fuzzy feeling.

The words she spoke just now seem to be meant to persuade herself as well as remind herself — no, it should be said that they are meant to calm her wavering heart.

No matter what, this answer doesn't fit.

The girl, who is s.h.i.+fting her gaze, looks like a drowning person grasping for straws.

However, Xue Qilin doesn't intend to pierce through the other party's self-deception, and instead asked in a flat tone, “Happiness of martial demons?”

Xihe nodded gently.

“Yes, happiness of martial demons.”

“What about you? What about your happiness?”

Xue Qilin asked lightning-fast, which betrayed her impatience.

“Me?”

“As long as the martial demons can be happy, is it okay even if you die here?”

“Enough misfortunes… too many misfortunes have befallen us. For me — I really think so, their happiness is my happiness.”

What matters is not the fate of one person, but the fate of the collective.

Martial demons focus on the fate of the collective, not the fate of a single individual.

The viewpoint of the two may have been different from the get go.

However, what does this represent?

“Huh, what a joke! That's foolis.h.!.+ Is this why you sacrifice yourself?”

Although Xue Qilin can understand it, but she cannot approve of it.

She cannot approve of this idea of self-sacrifice.

The agitated mood she is under ignited an unknown fire, and Xue Qilin's tone turned emotional unconsciously, causing Xihe to pull back in a rare fas.h.i.+on.

“Whether it is happiness or unhappiness, both have life as the foundation! Because we are alive, we can have the due meaning and value. Death means losing everything, you know?!”

“I do, of course I do!”

Xihe pushed Xue Qilin away angrily and stepping back, as if to escape. Her fists are clenched tightly, with her nails digging into her palms.

Then, after being suppressed repeatedly, her emotions finally burst out from her throat.

“But you don't! You don't understand that my unhappiness stems from the fact that I was born a martial demon — a being that people don't accept! Do you understand? No matter how similar we are in appearance, people won't accept us!” Xihe's voice became much quieter. “Perhaps, what we long for is just to be 'accepted' by people… um, that's all.”

Xihe lowered her head. Most of her face is hidden in the shadow of her bangs, making it impossible to make out her expression.

“However, the world is really narrow-minded, to the point that it doesn't tolerate us. We can only struggle to survive. Yet you won't even let go of our place of shelter… What can we do? All we need is Martial Demon Realm — when it comes to the whole world, it is nothing.”

There are ripples in Xihe's eyes. The expression portrayed on her face is that of someone about to cry.

“But why… why is the world so narrow-minded?”

This is not a question, but a complaint. A complaint against the world, against humans.

Xihe, it's not the world that's narrow-minded, but people… As if she ate yarrow, Xue Qilin's heart is full of bitterness.

“What a headache…”

But, is the world too small to even tolerate room for choice? Xue Qilin thinks that it shouldn't be so.

— It shouldn't be the case. There should be room for choice and effort.

At this time, Xue Qilin suddenly recalled what Beiming Youyu entrusted her with.

So she said, “Xihe, we all have a mouth.”

Although this sentence is confusing, but it is not without meaning.

After a long period of looking at one another, Xihe asked in a constrained tone, “… what do you mean?”

Xue Qilin replied with a smile, “We are able to communicate and relate our feelings.”

“What are you talking about?”

Unable to make sense of the other party's words, Xihe, feeling irritated, raised her voice unconsciously.

Xue Qilin closed her eyes and exhaled, breathing out all the obstacles that prevent her from making up her mind.

When she opened her eyes again, she smiled calmly.

“Have you ever thought about negotiating with the Five Great Sects to stop Martial Demon Realm Trial by Fire?”

As if she heard something shocking, Xihe was struck dumb.

After a while, she asked tentatively, “Xue Qilin, are you serious?”