Part 17 (1/2)

”Oh! How _could_ it!”

She put out her shaking hand and touched his sleeve, watching his face as if something in it awed her.

”You _loved_ him?” She whispered it. But Robin heard.

”I did not know I had loved anything--but I suppose that has been it.

His physical perfection attracted me at first--his extraordinary contrast to Henry. It was mere pride in him as an heir and successor.

Afterwards it was a _beautiful_ look his young blue eyes had. Beautiful seems an unmasculine word for such a masculine lad, but no other word expresses it. It was a sort of valiant brightness and joy in living and being friends with the world. I saw it every time he came to talk to me.

I wished he were my son. I even tried to think of him as my son.” He uttered a curious low sound like a sudden groan, ”My son has been killed.”

When he was about to leave the house and stood in the candle-lighted hall he was thinking of many dark things which pa.s.sed unformedly through his mind and made him move slowly. He was slow in his movements as the elderly maid servant a.s.sisted him to put on his overcoat, and he was as slowly drawing on his gloves when his eyes--slow also--travelled up the staircase and stopped at the first landing, where he seemed to see an indefinite heap of something lying.

”Am I mistaken or is--something--lying on the landing?” he said to the woman.

The fact that he was impelled to make the inquiry seemed to him part of his abnormal state of mind. What affair of his after all were curiously dropped bundles upon his hostess' staircase? But--

”Please go and look at it,” he added, and the woman gave him a troubled look and went up the stairs.

He himself was only a moment behind her. He actually found himself following her as if he were guessing something. When the maid cried out, he vaguely knew what he had been guessing.

”Oh!” the woman gasped, bending down. ”It's poor little Miss Lawless!

Oh, my lord,” wildly after a nearer glance, ”She looks as if she was dead!”

CHAPTER XIV

”Now no one will ever know.”

Robin waking from long unconsciousness found her mind saying this before consciousness which was clear had actually brought her back to the world.

”Now no one will ever know--ever.”

She seemed to have been away somewhere in the dark for a very long time.

She was too tired to try to remember what had happened before she began to climb the staircase, which grew steeper and longer as she dragged herself from step to step. But in the back of her mind there was one particular fact she knew without trying to remember how she learned it.

A sh.e.l.l had fallen somewhere and when it had burst Donal was ”blown to atoms.” How big were atoms--how small were they? Several times when she reached this point she descended into the abyss of blackness and fainted again, though people were doing things to her and trying to keep her awake in ways which troubled her greatly. Why should they disturb her so when sinking into blackness was better?

”Now no one will ever know.”

She was lying in her bed in her own room. Some one had undressed her. It was a nice room and very quiet and there was only a dim light burning.

It was a long time before she came back, after one of the descents into the black abyss, and became slowly aware that Something was near her bed. She did not actually see it because at first she could not have lifted or turned her eyes. She could only lie still. But she knew that it was near her and she wished it were not. At last--by degrees it ceased to be a mere _thing_ and evolved into a person. It was a man who was holding her wrist and watching her quietly and steadily--as if he had been doing it for some time. No one else was in the room. The people who had been disturbing her by doing things had gone away.

”Now,” she whispered dragging out word after word, ”no one will--ever--ever know.” But she was not conscious she had said it even in a whisper which could be heard. She thought the thing had only pa.s.sed again through her mind.

”Donal! Blown--to--atoms,” she said in the same way. ”How small is--an atom?” She was sinking into the blackness again when the man dropped her wrist quickly and did something to her which brought her back.