Part 19 (1/2)
”It appears you like art,” said the Count. ”Why not devote yourself to it? But perhaps your English social conditions are not propitious. Here is a letter from a friend of mind which arrived this morning; you know his name--I will not mention it! A well-known Academician, whose life is typical of your att.i.tude towards art. Such a good fellow. He likes shooting and fis.h.i.+ng; he is a favourite at Court, and quite an authority on dress-reform. He now writes to ask me about some detail of Greek costume which he requires for one of his lectures to a Ladies'
Guild. Art, to him, is not a jealous mistress; she is an indulgent companion, who will amiably close an eye and permit a few wayside flirtations to her lover--enthusiasms for quite other ideals, and for the joys of good society in general. That is the way to live a happy life. It is not the way to create masterpieces.”
”I would take myself seriously, I think,” said Denis. ”I would not dissipate my energies.”
He meant it. To be an artist--it dawned upon him that this was his true vocation. To renounce pleasure and discipline the mind; to live a life of self-denial, submitting himself humbly to the inspiration of the great masters.... To be serene, like this old man; to avoid that facile, glib, composite note--those monkey-tricks of cleverness....
Then, after this vision had pa.s.sed before his eyes like a flash, he remembered his grief. The notion of becoming a world-famous artist lost all meaning for him. Everything was blighted. There was not a grain of solace to be found on earth.
The Count, meanwhile, was looking with concern upon his companion's grave face, whose flawless profile might have emerged into life under the thought-laden chisel of Lysippus. He wondered what he could say or do to drive away this melancholy. The youth had been so bright that day at the entertainment of the d.u.c.h.ess; he seemed to have stepped straight out of a sunny dialogue of Plato. Serious trouble now shone out of his eyes. Something had happened. Something was wrong with him; wrong, too--he reflected--with a world which could find no better occupation for such a person than to hand round b.u.t.tered tea-cakes at an old woman's party to a crowd of cosmopolitan scandalmongers.
Denis rose, remarking:
”I wish I could stay a little longer! But it is getting so late. I'm afraid I must be going.”
He held out his hand.
”You have caught me in a somewhat sad and depressed mood, I fear,”
replied the other, heaving a most artistic sigh. And his features suddenly looked quite careworn. As a matter of fact, he had not been so joyous for many long years--that news of Mr. van Koppen's proximate arrival having made him feel fifty years younger and, but for his ingrained sense of h.e.l.lenic moderation, almost ready to dance with delight.
”I am sorry I have been so despondent,” he went on. ”Sometimes one cannot help oneself. It shall not occur again! I will try to be more amusing next time you come. If I thought it would help, I would communicate my sorrows and claim your sympathy. But what does it avail to unburden oneself? Friends will share our joys, but every man is a solitary in his griefs. One soon finds that out! One soon realizes the vanity of all those talks about the consolations of philosophy and the comforts of religion, doesn't one? I suppose even you have your moments of dejection?”
”One worries about things now and then. It is perfectly natural, I daresay.”
”Perfectly. We are not stones--least of all persons like yourself. I would not be at your age again, not for the wealth of Croesus! I suffered too much. All young people suffer too much; they bear it silently, like heroes. The eye of youth dilates and distorts the images. The focussing process is painful. Youth has no norm. It was in one of my worst fits of despondency, I remember, that my old teacher gave me certain advice, after I had puzzled it out, did me some good.
In fact, I have acted upon it to this very day; I recall it as plainly as if he were speaking now. Well, I am sorry you are leaving. I would keep you hear if I could. But I hope you will not forget to come another day. You have cheered me up wonderfully! Shall Andrea find you a carriage?”
”What did he say?” asked Denis.
”The old teacher? Let me see.... He said: do not be discomposed by the opinions of inept persons. Do not swim with the crowd. They who are all things to their neighbours, cease to be anything to themselves.
Even a diamond can have too many facets. Avoid the attrition of vulgar minds; keep your edges intact. He also said: A man can protect himself with fists or sword but his best weapon is his intellect. A weapon must be forged in the fire. The fire, in our case, is tribulation. It must also be kept untarnished. If the mind is clean, the body can take care of itself. He said: delve deeply; not too deeply into the past, for it may make you derivative; nor yet into yourself--it will make you introspective. Delve into the living world and strive to bind yourself to its movement by a chain of your own welding. Once that contact is established, you are una.s.sailable. Externalize yourself! He told me many things of this kind. You think I was consoled by his words? Not in the slightest degree. I was annoyed. In fact, I thought him rather a hypocrite; anybody could have spoken as he did! I was so disappointed that I went to him next day and told him frankly what I thought of his counsel. He said--do you know what he said?”
”I cannot even guess.”
”He said: 'What is all wisdom save a collection of plat.i.tudes? Take fifty of our current proverbial sayings--they are so trite, so threadbare, that we can hardly bring our lips to utter them. None the less they embody the concentrated experience of the race, and the man who orders his life according to their teaching cannot go far wrong.
How easy that seems! Has any one ever done so? Never. Has any man ever attained to inner harmony by pondering the experiences of others? Not since the world began! He must pa.s.s through the fire.'”
”I had no teacher like that,” observed Denis. ”He must have been a man of the right kind.”
”Oh, he meant well, the old rascal,” replied the Count with a curious little smile.
CHAPTER XIV
Denis descended from the Old Town. At a turn of the road he overtook the bishop who was moving slowly in the same direction.
”How is Mrs. Meadows?” enquired the young man.