Part 54 (1/2)
”I gave you my promise,” she said, ”and I will abide by that promise. It is for you to decide, and no one else. My life, your own and--and the life of another is in your hands--three futures, Johnny, decide--”
”You want to--to give me up?”
”Is that generous?”
”No, it isn't,” he admitted. He took a turn up and down the room. ”And you say this other--this girl--cares for me?”
”I know she does?”
”Did she tell you?”
”Must I answer?”
”Why not?”
”Why not?” Joan repeated. ”Yes, she did. She came to me, openly and frankly, straightforward child that she is, and she said to me, 'Why are you marrying him, not loving him? If you loved him, and he loved you, I would not come to you; but you do not love him, and it is not fair. You are taking all and giving nothing!' And, she was right!”
”And she--she--” he said in a low voice, ”would give--”
”Has given.”
A silence fell between them. Then he turned to her, and it seemed as if the cloud had lifted from him. He held out his hands and smiled at her.
”I understand. You and she are right. A starved love could not live for ever; it must die. Better it should be strangled almost at birth, Joan.
So--so this is good-bye?”
She shook her head. ”Friends, always, Johnny,” she said.
”Friends always, then.”
She came close to him. She lifted her hand suddenly, and thrust back the hair from his forehead, she looked him in the eyes and, smiling, kissed him on the brow.
”Go and find your happiness--a far, far better than I could ever offer you.”
”And you?”
She shook her head, and her eyes, looking beyond him into the garden, were dreamy and strangely soft.
”Tell me about that man, Johnny,” she said. ”Will you take me back to Little Langbourne with you?”
”Why?”
”To see him.”
”But he maligned, he lied--”
”He is hurt, and why should I hate him? You did not believe. Will you take me back with you?”