Part 52 (1/2)
”I am refused, then?” said she, shyly.
”Refused!” he exclaimed. ”There are some things one cannot refuse--like the suns.h.i.+ne. But do you know what a terrible sacrifice you are making?”
”It is you, then, who are making no sacrifice at all,” she said, reproachfully. ”What do I sacrifice more than every girl must sacrifice when she marries? England is not my home as it is your home; we have lived everywhere; I have no childhood's friends to leave, as many a girl has.”
”Your father--”
”After a little while my father will scarcely miss me; he is too busy.”
But presently she added,
”If you had remained in England I should never have been your wife.”
”Why?” he said with some surprise.
”I should never have married against my father's wishes,” she said, thoughtfully. ”No. My promise to you was that I would be your wife, or the wife of no one. I would have kept that promise. But as long as we could have seen each other, and been with each other from time to time, I don't think I could have married against my father's wish. Now it is quite different. Your going to America has changed it all. Ah, my dear friend, you don't know what I suffered one or two nights before I could decide what was right for me to do!”
”I can guess,” he said, in a low voice, in answer to that brief sigh of hers.
Then she grew more cheerful in manner.
”But that is all over; and now, am I accepted? I think you are like Naomi: it was only when she saw that Ruth was very determined to go with her that she left off protesting. And I am to consider America as my future home? Well, at all events, one will be able to breathe freely there. It is not a country weighed down with standing armies and conscriptions and fortifications. How could one live in a town like Coblentz, or Metz, or Brest? The poor wretches marching this way and marching that--you watch them from your hotel window--the young men and the middle-aged men--and you know that they would rather be away at their farms, or in their factories, or saw-pits, or engine-houses, working for their wives and children--”
”Natalie,” said he, ”you are only half a woman: you don't care about military glory.”
”It is the most mean, the most cruel and contemptible thing under the sun!” she said, pa.s.sionately. ”What is the quality that makes a great hero--a great general--nowadays? Courage? Not a bit. It is callousness!--an absolute indifference to the slaughtering of human lives! You sit in your tent--you sit on horseback--miles away from the fighting; and if the poor wretches are being destroyed here or there in too great quant.i.ties, if they are ridden down by the horses and torn to pieces by the mitrailleuses, 'Oh, clap on another thousand or two: the place must be taken at all risks.' Yes, indeed; but not much risk to you! For if you fail--if all the thousands of men have been hurled against the stone and lead only to be thrown back crushed and murdered--why, you have fought with great courage--_you_, the great general, sitting in your saddle miles away; it is _you_ who have shown extraordinary courage!--but numbers were against you: and if you win, you have shown still greater courage; and the audacity of the movement was so and so; and your dogged persistence was so and so; and you get another star for your breast; and all the world sings your praises. And who is to court-martial a great hero for reckless waste of human life?
Who is to tell him that he is a cruel-hearted coward? Who is to take him to the fields he has saturated with blood, and compel him to count the corpses; or to take him to the homesteads he has ruined throughout the land, and ask the women and sons and the daughters what they think of this marvellous courage? Oh no; he is away back in the capital--there is a triumphal procession; all we want now is another war-tax--for the peasant must pay with his money as well as with his blood--and another levy of the young men to be taken and killed!”
This was always a sore point with Natalie; and he did not seek to check her enthusiasm with any commonplace and obvious criticisms. When she got into one of these moods of proud indignation, which was not seldom, he loved her all the more. There was something in the ring of her voice that touched him to the heart. Such n.o.ble, quick, generous sympathy seemed to him far too beautiful and rare a thing to be met by argument and a.n.a.lysis. When he heard that pathetic tremulousness in her voice, he was ready to believe anything. When he looked at the proud lips and the moistened eyes, what cause that had won such eloquent advocacy would he not have espoused?
”Ah, well, Natalie,” said he, ”some day the ma.s.s of the people of the earth will be brought to see that all that can be put a stop to, if they so choose. They have the power: _Zahlen regieren die Welt_; and how can one be better employed than in spreading abroad knowledge, and showing the poorer people of the earth how the world might be governed if they would only ally themselves together? It would be more easy to persuade them if we had all of us your voice and your enthusiasm.”
”Mine?” she said. ”A woman's talking is not likely to be of much use.
But,” she added, rather hesitatingly, ”at least--she can give her sympathy--and her love--to those who are doing the real work.”
”And I am going to earn yours, Natalie,” said he, cheerfully, ”to such a degree as you have never dreamed of, when you and I together are away in the new world. And that reminds me now you must not be frightened; but there is a little difficulty. Of course you thought of nothing, when you wrote those lines, but of doing a kindness; that was like you; your heart speaks quickly. Well--”
He himself seemed somewhat embarra.s.sed.
”You see, Natalie, there would be no difficulty at all if you and I could get married within the next few days.”
Her eyes were cast down, and she was silent.
”You don't think it possible you could get your father to consent?” he said, but without much hope.
”Oh no, I think not; I fear not,” she said, in a low voice.
”Then you see, Natalie,” he continued--and he spoke quite lightly, as if it was merely an affair of a moment--”there would be this little awkwardness: you are not of age; unless you get your father's consent, you cannot marry until you are twenty-one. It is not a long time--”
”I did not think of it,” she said, very hurriedly, and even breathlessly. ”I only thought it--it seemed hard you should go away alone--and I considered myself already your wife--and I said, 'What ought I to do?' And now--now you will tell me what to do. I do not know--I have no one to ask.”