Part 6 (1/2)
”Not for me.”
”Have you had something?” his father asked, and Jeffrey answered:
”None for me--thank you.”
The last two words seemed to be an afterthought. Lydia wondered if he hadn't felt like thanking anybody in years. There seemed to be nothing for her to do in this rigid sort of reunion, and she went back to Anne in the dining-room.
”He doesn't want anything,” she said. ”We can clear away.”
They did it in their deft fas.h.i.+on of working together, and then sat down in the candlelight, making no pretence of reading or talk. All the time they could hear the two voices from the library, going on at regular intervals. At ten o'clock they were still going on, at eleven. Lydia felt a deadly sleepiness, but she roused then and said, in the midst of a yawn:
”I'm afraid Farvie'll be tired.”
”Yes,” said Anne. ”I'll go and speak to them.”
She went out of the room, and crossed the hall in her delicate, soft-stepping way. She seemed to Lydia astonis.h.i.+ngly brave. Lydia could hear her voice from the other room, such a kind voice but steadied with a little clear authority.
”You mustn't get tired, Farvie.”
The strange voice jumped in on the heels of hers, as if it felt it ought to be reproved.
”Of course not. I'd no idea how late it was.”
Anne turned to Jeffrey. Lydia, listening, could tell from the different direction of the voice.
”Your room is all ready. It's your old room.”
There was a pin-p.r.i.c.k of silence and then the strange voice said quickly: ”Thank you,” as if it wanted to get everything, even civilities, quickly over.
Lydia sat still in the dining-room. The candles had guttered and gone down, but she didn't feel it possible to move out of her lethargy. She was not only sleepy but very tired. Yet the whole matter, she knew, was that this undramatic homecoming had deadened all her expectations. She had reckoned upon a brother ready to be called brother; she had meant to devote herself to him and see Anne devote herself, with an equal mind.
And here was a gaunt creature with a sodden skin who didn't want anything they could do. She heard him say ”Good-night.” There was only one good-night, which must have been to the colonel, though Anne was standing by, and then she heard Anne, in a little kind voice, asking her father if he wouldn't have something hot before he went to bed. No, he said. He should sleep. His voice sounded exhilarated, with a thrill in it of some even gay relief, not at all like the voice that had said good-night. And Anne lighted his candle for him and watched him up the stairs, and Lydia felt curiously outside it all, as if they were playing the play without her. Anne came in then and looked solicitously at the guttered candles of which one was left with a winding-sheet, like a tipsy host that had drunk the rest under the table, and appeared to be comforting the others for having made such a spectacle of themselves to no purpose. Lydia was so sleepy now that there seemed to be several Annes and she heard herself saying fractiously:
”Oh, let's go to bed.”
Through the short night she dreamed confusedly, always a dream about offering Farvie a supper tray, and his saying: ”No, I never mean to eat again.” And then the tray itself seemed to be the trouble, and it had to be filled all over. But n.o.body wanted the food.
In the early morning she awoke with the sun full upon her, for she had been too tired the night before to close a blind. She got out of bed and ran to the window. The night had been so confusing that she felt in very much of a hurry to see the day. Her room overlooked the orchard, outlined by its high red wall. For the first time, the wall seemed to have a purpose. A man in s.h.i.+rt and trousers was walking fast inside it, and while she looked he began to run. It was Jeffrey, the real Jeffrey, she felt sure; not the Jeffrey of last night who had been so far from her old conception of him that she had to mould him all over now to fit him into the orchard scene. He was running in a foolish, half-hearted way; but suddenly he seemed to call upon his will and set his elbows and ran hard. Lydia felt herself panting in sympathy. She had a distaste for him, too, even with this ache of pity sharper than any she had felt while she dreamed about him before he came. What did he want to do it for? she thought, as she watched him run. Why need he stir up in her a deeper sorrow than any she had felt? She stepped back from her stand behind the curtain, and began to brush her hair. She wasn't very happy.
It was impossible to feel triumphant because he was out of prison. She had lost a cherished dream, that was all. After this she wouldn't wake in the morning thinking: ”Some day he'll be free.” She would think: ”He's come. What shall we do with him?”
When she went down she found everybody had got up early, and Mary Nellen, with some prescience of it, had breakfast ready. Jeff, now in his coat, stood by the dining-room door with his father, talking in a commonplace way about the house as it used to be, and the colonel was professing himself glad no newer fas.h.i.+ons had made him change it in essentials.
”Here they are,” said he. ”Here are the girls.”
Anne, while Lydia entered from the hall, was coming the other way, from the kitchen where she had been to match conclusions with Mary Nellen about bacon and toast. Anne was flushed from the kitchen heat, and she had the spirit to smile and call, ”Good morning.” But Lydia felt halting and speechless. She had thought proudly of the tact she should show when this moment came, but she met it like a child. They sat down, and Anne poured coffee and asked how Farvie had slept. But before anybody had begun to eat, there was a knock at the front door, and Mary Nellen, answering it, came back to Anne, in a distinct puzzle over what was to be done now:
”It's a newspaper man.”
Lydia, in her distress, gave Jeffrey a quick look, to see if he had heard. He put his napkin down. His jaw seemed suddenly to set.
”Reporters?” he asked his father.