Part 8 (1/2)

”You're hardly an old man at thirty. Anyway, what does that have to do with anything?”

”I suppose it's not such an issue now but...” He trailed off, trying to find the words.

”You know, Rachael said that it's sometimes hard for people to see when a particular pattern of behavior isn't relevant anymore; I've grown up, in case you haven't noticed.”

”I've noticed, all right.” Noticed and secretly coveted. He explained sadly, ”It's not only that. I guess I think that you'll quickly outgrow me. I'm a deputy. Maybe I'll make sheriff one day if I work hard. You'll soon be a college graduate with a world of opportunities.

I don't want to restrict you.”

”So you're saying I'm too good for you?”

”No,” he paused, trying to articulate exactly what he did mean, ”yes. You have part owners.h.i.+p of a cattle and oil empire, for heaven's sake.”

”Bulls.h.i.+t.” She sounded angry now. ”How dare you think that I'm the type of woman who bothers about that? If anyone is bothered, it's you!”

”Janet, it's not like that. How long would you be satisfied with the type of lifestyle I could give you?”

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Janet sat back, looking shocked and very angry, ”Oh, I'm seeing a different side to you now, you arrogant a.s.s. You're too proud to consider that it wouldn't be my lifestyle changing but yours. I wouldn't mind so much if it was because you thought that you couldn't make me happy, couldn't love me or keep me satisfied. At least that would be a reason really about us and not about you and your pride!”

”Now wait a minute. You're twisting my words.” He swerved to a stop in the yard near her house. ”I think that you've had a schoolgirl crush on me for a long time, but maybe it's based on some unrealistic idea of who you think I am.”

”No, you listen. Be honest with yourself and me. Yes, I've had a thing for you for years, Mitch Mathews. I know you're a deputy, and I love your commitment to your job. I've never considered it an obstacle to a relations.h.i.+p with you. I love the fact that you're strong yet gentle, hard but kind. You're a good man with a hint of bad boy in you, and I like it. Don't you see anything about me that you like, or is it only my age, money, education, and options-which apparently don't include you-that you're concerned about?” She was getting really worked up now. ”All the material stuff is irrelevant unless it's a facade to hide the fact that you haven't got any b.a.l.l.s!”

He sat still, stunned as he replayed her words. She's right. He suddenly realized that Janet wasn't a girl anymore. She had grown up, knew her own mind, and apparently, she wanted him.

Janet was still filled with righteous indignation. ”You're also a stupid a.s.s for not seeing what's right in front of your nose.” She grabbed the door handle.

”Stay right here,” he shouted, pointing at her seat.

”Screw you,” she yelled back, and before he could grab her, she fell out of the vehicle. ”G.o.dd.a.m.n.” She struggled to her feet and started to run.

Using long, fast strides usually reserved for running down fleeing suspects it gave him a few crucial moments to reach her. He was upon 64 her before she made it to the house, tackling her from behind but turning to take the fall on his back.

”What the f-”

He cut off her curse with a crus.h.i.+ng kiss, holding her head with one hand, keeping her pressed against him with the other. When he finally released her, she was breathless. He gently rolled her over and stood up, pulling her with him.

”I'm sorry. You're right. I'm a stupid, selfish a.s.s.”

”I didn't say all of that.” She was breathing hard, still recovering from his kiss.

”Well, it's true. I invented reasons why you shouldn't love me when I could have been giving you reasons why you should. I've been a fool.” He kissed her again, gently this time, savoring the flavor of her lips and mouth, taking her breath in. When he spoke again, his voice was deep and gravelly ”The problem was my pride and lack of confidence in you. You've been on my mind and in my heart for years. Will you give me a chance to love you in the way you deserve?”

The kiss they'd shared and her words had completely shattered his resolve to stay away from her.

”G.o.d, you're actually romantic. Who knew?”

He shrugged. ”Or failing that, will you settle for lots of mind-blowing s.e.x?” Her brothers are gonna kill me.

She flushed pink.

”I don't think that Josh is home yet. His car isn't here,” he observed hopefully.

”He will be soon, and I need to have a good, long talk with him.

I'd love to invite you in but-”

”But the time's not right. I'm going to Austin tomorrow for a firearms workshop until Tuesday. I'll call you when I get back, okay?”

”You'd better because, Deputy, you're on probation. Have a good think about what I've said, Mitch Mathews, and if you are even half

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the man I hope you are, you'll spend the future making it up to me.”

She started toward the door of the house but then stopped to add, ”And you'd better use some imagination.”

He watched her enter the house without a backward glance. For a few moments, he couldn't bring himself to move. He wanted to go after her but knew she had a family matter to deal with, so he reluctantly headed home. Soon, however, he was smiling.

Imaginative? I can do that.

Calming down, Janet leaned heavily against the door. You'd better use some imagination. She groaned inwardly at her words. Where the h.e.l.l did that come from? Janet wasn't exactly Ms. s.e.xually Experienced. In fact, she was the opposite. What the heck had she set herself up for? She'd overheard some of the ranch hands joke that a night with the deputy left a girl bowlegged in the morning.