Part 13 (1/2)
”That is one of the questions that I was sent to bed for asking a preacher who was visiting at our house, when I was about seven years old. They hurried me hence before he had a chance to answer, so I never found out. But I know what you are thinking of, and I have thought of it too. Perhaps there isn't any land of Nod, or any land at all. And I have thought, also, how it would be if one of us died and left the other with little children. You might take my body and jump off the rock, but you couldn't take them too, and still less could you leave them.”
”I have thought of the risk to you,” he said, ”and felt that not even for the sake of a child would I let you come so near death.”
She laughed a little. ”That is really funny,” she said. ”You must have been reading Michelet; I never thought of that at all. I am very well and strong, and my habits and my clothes are not such as to hamper my life nor endanger that of another. There is next to no risk, so far as that is concerned, certainly none I would not gladly take. But I have dreaded afterwards, when the child might fall ill and need help that we could not give it.”
”Because there are no doctors in the world?” said Adam, with a touch of cynicism. ”I don't know that we are not better off without them.
The greatest of them confessed that it was guess-work. The best doctors I ever knew were always trying to make their patients live more simply, take more exercise, and give nature a chance; they never resorted to medicine until there was nothing else to do. If all the germs and microbes have gone with them, the earth can stand the loss.
The main thing is to be well born, and when the body is healthy and leads a natural life, while it may know pain, it need not be a prey to disease. Very few children had a heritage worth having. It had been bartered away. No wonder we were taught to say, 'There is no health in us.'”
”Do you remember Gannett's 'Not All There'?” she asked soberly. ”I am not sure I can recall it, but it began this way:--
”Something short in the making, Something lost on the way, As the little soul was taking Its path to the break of day.
”Only his mood or pa.s.sion, But it twitched an atom back, And she for her G.o.ds of fas.h.i.+on Filched from the pilgrim's pack.
”The father did not mean it, The mother did not know, No human eye had seen it, But the little soul needed it so.
”Thro' the street there pa.s.sed a cripple Maimed from before its birth; On the strange face gleamed a ripple Like a half dawn on the earth.
”It pa.s.sed, and it awed the city As one not alive nor dead; Eyes looked and burned with pity.
'He is not all there,' they said.
”Not all! for part is behind it, Lying dropped on the way; That part--could two but find it, How welcome the end of day!”
For a long while neither spoke, then Robin went on. The colt had wandered back to its mother, and she sat with her hands clasped, and her eyes looking far out to sea.
”I don't blame people for dreading the responsibility, nor even for s.h.i.+rking it, when I think of all the conditions we had to face. Men who thought they had hedged their trades about with so much skill that they had banished compet.i.tion, found that they had only succeeded in bringing into the field the machine that banished them. And everywhere there was such ghastly poverty,--poverty of body and brain and soul.
We had gone back to patrons and patronesses. Men or women did not do anything of themselves any more,--they did not sing or play, or give a reading, or exhibit a painting. They starved, or they performed or exhibited 'under the auspices of.' It has always been the same. Given a pure democracy, and demos reigns sooner or later. The s.h.i.+ftless go to the bottom, the thrifty to the top, and then like the upper and nether millstones, they grind everything between them. That which is below cries, 'Alms!' and that which is above responds, 'Largesse,' and the voice that cries, 'Justice,' is stifled between. The stone that crushed from above and the rock that ground from below were very near, and men dreaded them, for when the grist is ground, and flint strikes upon flint, the conflagration is at hand. Do you think I am talking like a Populist campaign book? I only know what I saw, and what the poets have said. I wouldn't dare to be as radical as Lowell, nor as bitter as Tennyson, nor as savage as Carlyle, or Ruskin, or Hugo. We had overcome the sharpness of death, but whence could we hope for deliverance from the sharpness of living?”
”We have been delivered,” said Adam, slowly, ”but you don't seem disposed to be the Miriam of this Israel--limited.”
”Well, no,” answered Robin. ”I should like to believe that you and I were rewarded for our superhuman excellence by being saved when Pharaoh and his mult.i.tudes went under, but a somewhat wide acquaintance with other people forbids. On the other hand, we can't have been left on account of our superlative badness. Truly, Adam, don't you feel sometimes as if you would rather have died with the rest?”
He hesitated. The question was so unexpected, and so fraught with possibilities. She watched the struggle in his face and honored him for it. He put back a stray lock of hair and kissed her forehead before he answered.
”The streak of cowardice that we all of us have in us,” he said finally, ”the distrust of myself, and the doubt of all systems of life of which I know anything, prompts me to answer yes; for I think even if we had died, you and I would still be together. I think sometimes we have been, in the past, but whether we have or not, I know we shall be in the future. So while the mental part of me,--which it seems to me is the weakest and most contemptible part of man, because it is always reasoning him out of what his soul tells him is true,--while the mental part of me might find it easier to be dead than to know what we ought to do, everything else in me rejoices. I know that in the great plan we have a part, it seems to me a very happy and beautiful part. In all our world there is no cause for anger or hatred or sin. There is friendliness and content and gentleness and love all around us; look up, dear, and see how near heaven seems.”
But though she looked up, she saw only the light in his eyes.
XXI
”We're all for love,” the violins said.
SIDNEY LANIER.
Robin's music was a source of great delight to both of them. There was such a sense of time, infinite and unlimited, that they ceased to be the hurrying mortals of earth. The joy of life crept into their hearts, and they grew young with the new world.