Part 37 (1/2)

”He is ill, is he not?” she at last faltered.

”Yes,” he said, ”he is ill.”

”I knew it at once when I saw you,” she replied. ”I knew when he was not here that he must be ill. He is very ill, is he not?” she persisted.

As he did not answer but grew still paler, she looked at him fixedly.

And on the instant she saw the shadow of death upon him; on his hands that still trembled, that had a.s.sisted the dying man; on his sad face; in his troubled eyes, which still retained the reflection of the death agony; in the neglected and disordered appearance of the physician who, for twelve hours, had maintained an unavailing struggle against death.

She gave a loud cry:

”He is dead!”

She tottered, and fell fainting into the arms of Ramond, who with a great sob pressed her in a brotherly embrace. And thus they wept on each other's neck.

When he had seated her in a chair, and she was able to speak, he said:

”It was I who took the despatch you received to the telegraph office yesterday, at half-past ten o'clock. He was so happy, so full of hope!

He was forming plans for the future--a year, two years of life. And this morning, at four o'clock, he had the first attack, and he sent for me.

He saw at once that he was doomed, but he expected to last until six o'clock, to live long enough to see you again. But the disease progressed too rapidly. He described its progress to me, minute by minute, like a professor in the dissecting room. He died with your name upon his lips, calm, but full of anguish, like a hero.”

Clotilde listened, her eyes drowned in tears which flowed endlessly.

Every word of the relation of this piteous and stoical death penetrated her heart and stamped itself there. She reconstructed every hour of the dreadful day. She followed to its close its grand and mournful drama.

She would live it over in her thoughts forever.

But her despairing grief overflowed when Martine, who had entered the room a moment before, said in a harsh voice:

”Ah, mademoiselle has good reason to cry! for if monsieur is dead, mademoiselle is to blame for it.”

The old servant stood apart, near the door of her kitchen, in such a pa.s.sion of angry grief, because they had taken her master from her, because they had killed him, that she did not even try to find a word of welcome or consolation for this child whom she had brought up. And without calculating the consequences of her indiscretion, the grief or the joy which she might cause, she relieved herself by telling all she knew.

”Yes, if monsieur has died, it is because mademoiselle went away.”

From the depths of her overpowering grief Clotilde protested. She had expected to see Martine weeping with her, like Ramond, and she was surprised to feel that she was an enemy.

”Why, it was he who would not let me stay, who insisted upon my going away,” she said.

”Oh, well! mademoiselle must have been willing to go or she would have been more clear-sighted. The night before your departure I found monsieur half-suffocated with grief; and when I wished to inform mademoiselle, he himself prevented me; he had such courage. Then I could see it all, after mademoiselle had gone. Every night it was the same thing over again, and he could hardly keep from writing to you to come back. In short, he died of it, that is the pure truth.”

A great light broke in on Clotilde's mind, making her at the same time very happy and very wretched. Good G.o.d! what she had suspected for a moment, was then true. Afterward she had been convinced, seeing Pascal's angry persistence, that he was speaking the truth; that between her and work he had chosen work sincerely, like a man of science with whom love of work has gained the victory over the love of woman. And yet he had not spoken the truth; he had carried his devotion, his self-forgetfulness to the point of immolating himself to what he believed to be her happiness. And the misery of things willed that he should have been mistaken, that he should have thus consummated the unhappiness of both.

Clotilde again protested wildly:

”But how could I have known? I obeyed; I put all my love in my obedience.”

”Ah,” cried Martine again, ”it seems to me that I should have guessed.”

Ramond interposed gently. He took Clotilde's hands once more in his, and explained to her that grief might indeed have hastened the fatal issue, but that the master had unhappily been doomed for some time past. The affection of the heart from which he had suffered must have been of long standing--a great deal of overwork, a certain part of heredity, and, finally, his late absorbing love, and the poor heart had broken.

”Let us go upstairs,” said Clotilde simply. ”I wish to see him.”