Part 42 (1/2)
”I got groped more after that. Free to touch and use as they please-public property. I even had a few chicks ask for my autograph like I wuz some sort of p.o.r.n star, while another one tried to have her friend film us while we were having s.e.x. I caught her in the closet.” He glanced at Beth.
”I'm so sorry,” she said, looking horrified. ”You should report them.”
He shrugged. ”Nah, I'm used to it now, plus sometimes it's my own fault.”
”Why's it your fault?”
”You already know why: I lead people on. It gives me a b.o.n.e.r knowing how much they want me, but they can't do anything about it, which is why it's even more fun doin' it to gay guys, cos I'm never tempted to go with them. Though, it's gotten me into s.h.i.+t a few times, cos guys don't like being c.o.c.k-teased.”
”What happened?”
”I've had a few get aggressive. Mix alcohol with being turned down after being turned on and you get trouble.”
”They didn't hurt you, did they?”
”Don't worry 'bout it, I've been hurt worse than what any of those t.w.a.ts tried to do.”
”Like with Chaz?”
”S'pose so. He ripped into me really bad.”
”He raped you too!”
”No, he only beat me up.”
”Why did he beat you up?”
”Cos I tried to stab him when I caught him raping Ash.”
”Oh G.o.d, I'm so sorry, Dante.”
Dante shrugged, not feeling comfortable with her sympathy.
”Is that the reason?” she said.
He glanced at her. ”The reason for what?”
”Why you did me that way. You were mimicking what Chaz did to Ash.”
He planted his foot on the brake, making them both jolt forward. ”What the h.e.l.l is wrong with you? You don't have a right to ask me that!”
”Maybe not, but I think you're continuing what Chaz did, but in your own way.”
”h.e.l.l no!”
Her lips pulled tight. ”You pro'bly don't do it consciously, but the way you pushed me onto my front, then entered violently made me think-”
”Then stop thinking! You've only just apologised for offending me, now you goin' the whole hog and doin' a h.e.l.luva lot worse.”
”Then talk to a psychiatrist 'bout it.”
”No! Cos I'm not like Chaz! I don't rape people. Why're you doin' this to me?”
”I'm not doin' it to upset you, but cos I want to understand why you act certain ways. My aunty's a psychiatrist and she says a lot of promiscuous people have had traumatic things happen to them-usually s.e.xual, like what you've experienced. I asked her some advice 'bout how you act and she-”
”You don't have a right to talk about me behind my back, and especially not to some d.a.m.ned psychiatrist who twists everything around to fit their f.u.c.kin' stereotypes. I'm not a stereotype, and I'm not like Chaz!”
”I know you're not like Chaz, but you're just as damaged, and I know it's bothering you.”
”No, you're bothering me!” Beeping made him jump. He glanced behind, realising he'd stopped in the middle of the road. He started driving again. ”Damaged, my f.u.c.kin' a.r.s.e. How 'bout you keep your s.h.i.+t opinions to yourself, cos I've had enough of them.”
He turned down the next road, pa.s.sing the small Catholic school Sledge and Juliet had gone to, with the triangular-shaped church next to it.
Beth started talking again, ”But it makes sense.”
He threw a glare at her. ”If it makes so much sense, then explain why you have rape fantasies? Does that mean you've been raped or have you seen a rape?”
”No, neither.”
”Then how I f.u.c.k has got nuthin' to do with that sick paedo. And I am not a paedo.”
”You're taking this totally wrong. I never said you were, but the way you were so forceful during s.e.x still suggests that you could be mimicking Chaz.”
”Jesus! Stop saying that, cos it's insulting and disgusting, and I'm not like that!” He put his foot on the brake, almost slamming into the back of a car waiting to turn. ”Do you have any idea how I try to purge that image from my head of Chaz on top of Ash. My brother looked f.u.c.kin' dead! And what Chaz wuz doin' wuz the most repulsive thing I've ever seen. There's no way in h.e.l.l I would copy that.”
”But your s.e.x life isn't normal, Dante-”
”My s.e.x life wuz never normal, so shut the f.u.c.k up.” He resumed driving, regretting not yanking her out of the car when he had the chance. Yeah, he took what he wanted like Chaz did, but that was as far as it went, he WASN'T a rapist, because Beth said it was consensual. And he always stopped with Kara, that woman hurting him more than he ever did her.
”When didja start having s.e.x?” Beth asked.
”Is my s.e.x life the only thing you wanna talk to me about? Cos you seem to be having serious issues asking me these f.u.c.ked up questions.”
”How old were you?”
”Thirteen, okay. Are you happy now?”
”That's really young.”
”I don't think so.”
”It is to me, cos I wuz twenty-two when I lost my virginity.”
Surprised, he glanced at her, then looked back at the road as they left Dargaville and headed into farmland again. ”Ash wuz your first?”
”Yes.”
”No wonder you're repressed.”