Part 28 (2/2)
Nessa laughed. ”You're a real sweetheart, aren't you? Worried I'm going to dehydrate?”
”Just looking out for you, don't get on my case.”
”Hangovers, dehydration, forget about that funny smell coming from my leg.”
An awkward silence followed. Ike wished he could make her forget her condition for a moment, but she knew all too well that her life was slipping away. She curled against him, as some wave of emotion came over her. For lack of words, he brushed a hand along the hairs pulled tight by her ponytail and kissed her forehead, quietly, softly.
”I hate this thing,” she said suddenly. She squeezed the ring between her fingers and pulled it off, holding it in her palm. ”Who am I kidding?”
”I thought you didn't care.”
”What's worth worrying about?” Nessa cried. ”If I wanted to, it sure as h.e.l.l isn't going to happen now, is it? I wasted too much time. I had all of this time and I wasted it, because I wanted to have a good job. I don't even like chemistry. I hate pharmaceutical companies. Do you think we're out here to save lives? All H. Hurley cares is how much that little flower can add to their net worth. If I was out here to help people, then maybe I wouldn't feel like s.h.i.+t.”
”Just because you're making money doesn't mean you're not helping people.”
”Seriously, Ike, find someone. Don't waste your time like I did. f.u.c.k Africa. Go home to Sydney or Perth, or whatever backwoods Aussie s.h.i.+thole you came from.”
Ike sighed. ”Brisbane. I'm from Brisbane.”
”Is it nice there?”
”It's a beautiful city,” he said. He swallowed past the thick lump in his throat. ”And besides, you're wrong. I found somebody out here.”
Nessa let out a long breath. ”Stop it, Ike. Just shut up.”
”I'm completely serious.”
”You were just h.o.r.n.y.”
”Not just h.o.r.n.y,” Ike said with a grin. ”You didn't give me a chance with much else.”
”Don't lie to me because you feel bad for me,” she cried. ”That's only going to make me feel worse. I don't need you to pretend things to make me feel better.”
”I'm not pretending anything.”
”You're saying if this was Brisbane, you would have fancied me?” Nessa asked incredulously. ”With all those other girls running around?”
”I would've needed earplugs,” Ike replied. ”But, yeah, I think so. I think we could have made quite a couple.”
”That's sweet, Ike. That really is. But it's total bulls.h.i.+t.”
”Well, I'm not wealthy, I'm not successful, and last I checked I'm sure as h.e.l.l not Jewish. But I would've given it a shot. And who the h.e.l.l knows?”
”You think you might have proposed?”
”Sure as h.e.l.l, yeah. Once you warmed up to me of course. h.e.l.l, I'd even convert. I'd get the operation and everything.”
Nessa laughed into his chest. It felt good to feel her curled there, living, breathing. Ike wondered how much time was left. He wanted to squeeze her, but he had to be gentle. She was, after all, in considerable pain.
”Ike. Listen to me. I want you to have this.”
Nessa pressed the diamond ring into his palm. She looked very pale and had stopped sweating. No more tears came out. Ike watched her helplessly, fading in and out of sleep himself, his exhaustion too great.
”What's this about?”
”I don't need it anymore. It's worth quite a bit, so I'm giving it to you.”
”Are you proposing to me, Nessa?”
She grinned weakly. ”If it'll make you take the b.l.o.o.d.y thing, then yes, I'm proposing to you.”
Ike closed his palm. ”Well then, I accept.”
She let go and her fingers slipped away to fall back at her side. Her breathing came slow, barely perceptible, even with him pressed against her. She felt like a feather, ready to blow away at any moment.
”I just never pictured it happening quite like this,” he said quietly.
She muttered something indecipherable, and Ike couldn't be sure whether she had understood his words.
As the sun s.h.i.+fted in the sky, light blazed in through the open flap. He had left it open to keep watch, but the sunlight burned his tired eyes badly. He tugged the tent flap closed.
Only for a moment, so he could rest his eyes.
Temba Ampigana Mchawi.
(Temba versus the Magi).
”If darkness exists,
and darkness is of the forest,
then even darkness must be good.”
-BaMbuti proverb.
25.
In his dream, Kuntolo's spear plunged softly into her heart. The fingers gripping the shaft were his. Sam had been calling out to him in KiSwahili, a language Temba had never heard her speak. Yet they were his hands that dealt the killing blow to her breast.
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